The "six types of men" - working on the weak area

DonaldDouglassDonaldDouglass Scottsdale Member Posts: 21
In the video series, Athol described the "six types of men" (or six brands of male attractiveness):

1. “Physical”: gym rats, super buff, play sports, display muscles

2. “Stereotypical guy”: man’s man, watches football, chops wood, beard, hunting, car racing

3. “Peacock”: playa, dress, grooming, display resources, show high libido, fancy car

4. “Impulsive”: edgy, dangerous, extreme sports, risk-taker

5. “Leadership”: social status, power, career, personal power, social dominance, AMOG

6. “Smart”: intelligence, creativity, education, skills, artist/musician

For myself I am very strong in "smart" and "physical", OK on "guy stuff" and "peacock", but I am relatively weak on "leadership" (I am naturally introverted) and basically not impulsive or a risk-taker at all.

What are some simple things to do to improve those weak areas? Keep in mind I am a 50 year old suburban guy with a wife and kids. "Doing more" to get ahead at work is a long-term thing that I need to think about. But are there any quick fixes to improve social status/social dominance? What would be a "reasonable" risk-taking activity to do?

Or put another way, if you are age 45 to 55, what sorts of "risk-taking" or impulsive activities do you do? I go skiing in the winter but I don't really regard it as risky since I am good at it.


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Comments

  • HildaCornersHildaCorners Winter? You call *that* winter?Gold Women Posts: 3,377
    edited August 7
    @DonaldDouglass is there a reason you Disagreed with me?

    If so, please tell me what you don't agree with.

    Enneagram 5w4.  I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.

    "I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
  • CowboyCowboy In the South, USASilver Member Posts: 1,994
    I agree with @frillyfun , you don't have to be extroverted to show leadership, especially in your own house. It can just be simple as taking charge of planning a vacation, or setting up date night.

    "Men were designed to hunt mammoth. You need to go find your mammoth." --Serenity
    nubbyJellyBean
  • DonaldDouglassDonaldDouglass Scottsdale Member Posts: 21
    edited August 9

    Rorschach said:
    Yes, these are aspects or traits of attractiveness, not kinds of men. Go back and listen again. And then try to come to some conclusions about how your wife would rank them in terms of what she is attracted to. (That is actually one of the take aways at the end of that part as I recall it.)

    You don't have excel at all brands. I know my wife is attracted to both smart and physicality. Good. Got those covered. Peacocking and impulsivity, not so much. If I came home with a shiny new motorcycle, she'd likely call me a dick and issue an ultimatum. She would rank impulsivity at about zero.

    Got it?

    And being an introvert does not equate to lack of leadership.
    In the video, Athol directly states these are the "six different types of guys" (video 4, roughly 4:15 into it) and I'm not sure why people want to take issue with this since it's not important anyway.

    "Go figure out which brands of attractiveness your wife likes" is indeed one of the assignments in video 7, but that's not what I'm asking here.

    No, you don't have to excel at all brands, but as he says you do have to meet a certain minimum requirement. He also says that improving your weak areas yields larger immediate benefits in attractiveness than trying to make incremental additional gains in areas where you are already strong.

    My weak areas, as I said, are impulsiveness / risk-taking and leadership / social dominance. So I am looking for ways to improve those, and asking what other people who are strong in those areas do to display them.

    Although a natural introvert, I know very well that I have to display leadership qualities (which means being more extroverted) at work to show leadership and social value in that context. Also, if and when I am challenged in my area of professional expertise (which basically means they are challenging my smarts), I become much more extroverted and aggressively display my smarts. But wife doesn't see any of this because it happens at work. So how to display social dominance so that she can see it more readily is the dilemma.
  • BlackwulfBlackwulf Leading the pack. Silver Member Posts: 1,782
    I believe if your weak points are leadership and being spontaneous it is decision making that where you might be weak on.  Leadership is built on your credibility like @generalzod just described.  Start having plans of what you want the family to do.  Vacations, home improvement, etc.  Take the lead, leverage your strengths. 

    I don't think becoming "dangerous" is what you need to do, honestly as an introvert just showing you can get out of your comfort zone can leave a strong impression.  


    TenneeamblrgirlHildaCorners
  • RorschachRorschach "Just ask the axis ..."Silver Member Posts: 1,458
    There's no percentage in increasing a weak area much if it's one of the brands your wife ranks lowest.

    I can fill my wife's impulsivity bucket easily by spontaneously suggesting something fun, and that'll do just fine for a very good long while. I can fill her peacocking/display bucket simply by putting on a nice suit and tie and going off to work. She ranks these low. I don't need to bother too much with these. And in fact, if I turned up the dial too much on impulsivity or display, that would definitely not be attractive to her. It would be a -1 (or worse) to attraction, and probably also to RC (especially with regard to impulsivity).

    On the other hand, I better not let smart and physicality slip. She ranks these high.

    The other brands she would rank somewhere in the middle. I could (and possibly should) improve these, but definitely not if there is a cost to smart and physicality.
  • georgegeorge Silver Member Posts: 1,514
    Yeah, introverts can lead.  Maybe we don't crave it.  And we probably won't make a career out of it.  And we might have everyone convinced it was a team effort (because it was).  We just don't get as high on it.   We don't ride high on the horse and wave our sword and yell a lot.  But sometimes that's exactly the kind of leader that's needed.  Competent. Stable. Service leadership.  They're usually trustworthy and in it for the common good.  Doesn't ooze raw sex appeal maybe.  But in the long term.....
    HildaCorners
  • never_againnever_again CanadaSilver Member Posts: 1,372
    I'm very introverted but I often find myself in leadership roles, simply because I abhor a vacuum.  

    I'm that guy asking tough questions after a presentation, because I want further explanation and most of the people around me are too self-conscious to raise their hand, even the extroverts, for fear they are perceived as not understanding the material.

    I'm the guy who sees people milling around trying to decide what to do and I step up and organise it into a plan. 

    I'm the guy who boils down the discussion points in a meeting to a workable solution.

    I'm the guy who takes on leadership not because I'm a "leader" but because somebody has to do it and I have no fear of taking the hits when things don't go according to plan because I know we can still get through it.
    The man who gives his woman everything ends up with nothing. Not even the woman.
    BlackwulfBlueWolf
  • TrumanTruman England, UKSilver Member Posts: 98
    Cowboy said:
    I agree with @frillyfun , you don't have to be extroverted to show leadership, especially in your own house. It can just be simple as taking charge of planning a vacation, or setting up date night.
    Or even just giving decisive answers to simple daily questions.

    "What do you want for dinner tonight?"

    Wrong: "I don't know, I guess whatever you want to cook."

    Right: "Lasagna"

    This simple thing counts for so much.
    TenneeRorschachHusband3point0JellyBean
  • RebornReborn LondonGold Men Posts: 2,987

    ... I've taken to thinking of it in terms of -- how do I most effectively become who I was at 25 when she fell madly in love with me?  
    Indeed. Unless you are in an arranged marriage, the chances are that when your wife chose you, you had the things she wanted. So one way of looking at all of this is "what has changed about me since then?" Under those six headings. 

    I'm yet another introvert who does leadership. It can work well because I am willing to consult with people. 
    Enneagram type 5 w6. 
    If I offer lots of advice, it's probably really me giving advice to myself. That always seems to happen. 
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