The "six types of men" - working on the weak area

TooEarlyTooLate

I have learned to do things that are uncomfortable.  I recently got the opportunity to do a public speech which scared the shit out of me but was exciting all at the same time.  Wife could feel my excitement and fed off that energy.  Do things that you would not normally do, be uncomfortable, take risks.  Risks don't have to be life or death things but things that she knows make you uncomfortable and are not normal.  It makes them take notice and get excited as well.  Excitement feeds excitement.  

Reborn

How did it go?

Runner2016

I'm approaching 45 and really like to rock climb. Its a little dangerous, gives you a great workout, gets you outside) or to the climbing gym, and my wife really gets going watching me climb or climbing with me. You don't have to be super strong, there are easy routes for beginners. Additionally, there are generally other young and attractive women climbing as well so you can practice honing your other skills.

CountryDude

Interesting thread.

So, my GF's preferences here would probably be "leadership" and "stereotypical guy".

Gotta work on those.

She is definately not much into "peacock". The fancy car is about as far as it goes. Although her idea of fancy is a bright red Ford Ranger. And we already got that, lol.

I really don't think she is into "physical" all that much. Although, she would probably prefer it if I didn't have bigger breasts than her. And I am sure I saw lust in her eyes when I whipped her (female) cousin's ass at badminton in our driveway. Lol.

I'm sure "impulsive" isn't much her thing. 

As for "smart", well it would probably rank 3rd on her list, I would say. And of all 6, I probably have more of this than any other (though I do lack sense).

beribboned

Aspects of all these except for stereotypical guy seem important to my attraction. Too much stereotypical guy and I (perhaps unfairly) suspect lack of creativity, and creativity is very important to me. The only one I find problematic to like is impulsivity. My husband has a lot of it. I know I like it but it causes me anxiety. 

HildaCorners

There's usually a mix that your partner finds most attractive, plus upper and lower boundaries. Different people have different limits on all three numbers.

For me, Smart is most important. On a scale of 1-10, 8 is probably my lower limit, and there's no upper. Physical is somewhat important, as I want a man in good health and reasonably fit — but jocks turn me off. So I'd want a man with a Physicality between 4 and 7. Impulsivity ... I don't want someone totally dull, but don't want much reckless behavior, so between 2 and 5 is good for me. Etc., for the rest of the traits.

Every woman will want a different mix, and every man has a different mix, both when he's just coasting through life and when he's Awesome.

By the way, the same traits work for women ... change Stereotypical Guy to Femininity.

Arrghmatey

So, I've listened to the "Master" (Athol), and have seen the great comments on this. But what I struggle with (and I think may help the OP), is how do you identify which attributes are the most significant for the W?

I have many times been accused of "being too smart to have any common sense", which I won't argue with. I can pull together a plan to change bottom line for companies by millions, but it took me years, and help from the MMSL community, to even figure out when I'm being shit tested. That just flew way over my head until recently. Understanding the W's minimum, acceptable, and max thresholds is just a challenge.

So.. Any advice on determining where to initially focus (understanding that personal deficiencies in an attribute give more bang for the buck). How did you determine what "does it" for your spouse?

HildaCorners

What types of men does she find attractive?

Does she go for body builders or the trainers at the gym? Physicality.
Is she attracted to wealthy men and politicians? Leadership.
Is she more affectionate when you've fixed her car, or gone hunting? Masculinity.
etc.

You won't be able to understand her 100% ... she may not know herself that well. But you can pick up clues, sometimes strong ones.

So ... mention you need some new clothing, and if she perks up and starts giving you color and fashion advice, she's attracted to Peacocking. Ask her if she'd be interested in skydiving, a strong negative means she doesn't like impulsivity.

You can also see how she reacts to you. Remember, she married you because she found you attractive. Presumably, she was attracted to your strong areas when you got together.

Rorschach

Arrghmatey said:

So, I've listened to the "Master" (Athol), and have seen the great comments on this. But what I struggle with (and I think may help the OP), is how do you identify which attributes are the most significant for the W?

I have many times been accused of "being too smart to have any common sense", which I won't argue with. I can pull together a plan to change bottom line for companies by millions, but it took me years, and help from the MMSL community, to even figure out when I'm being shit tested. That just flew way over my head until recently. Understanding the W's minimum, acceptable, and max thresholds is just a challenge.

So.. Any advice on determining where to initially focus (understanding that personal deficiencies in an attribute give more bang for the buck). How did you determine what "does it" for your spouse?

There is no easy answer to that, because we're not there. You have to puzzle that out yourself.

Mine pretty much told me many years ago when we started dating (she bought me weights, but the smart attracted her).

You have to observe and listen. What does she do? In media, film etc. what does comment on or notice mostly? What does say? And what do you think initially attracted her to you? Is there anything else in your joint history that gives you a lead? Listen again, the questions are all there on the videos.

In the end, get fit (do that for yourself, just because you'll feel better, if nothing else, which creates positive energy), and be more captainly, display your value. You'll start to notice what's what. And drop the self deprecation: "which I won't argue with". Consult @Tennee on A&A on that.