Ladies: Desire for Sex or Sex+Orgasm?

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Comments

  • CallmeCatCallmeCat DownsouthSilver Member Posts: 236
    @Husband3point0 I totally agree with that statement that you need a deep bond between two people to offer up the sex for his pleasure without a O in it for the women.  That's a definite level of trust that needs to be in place and sexual comfort with your partner or H.
    JellyBean
  • dalefdalef Silver Member Posts: 1,963
    Even women who can't O want sex and like giving their man pleasure, however if they can O easily, they don't you to try not to give them an O.
  • HildaCornersHildaCorners Winter? You call *that* winter?Gold Women Posts: 3,377
    edited August 17
    leoslayer said:

    I'll ask you if you could have an O 99.8% of the time would you choose not to?
    Yes.

    As I said, I O easily. I won't go into details ... but I do. 99.8% may be an under estimate.

    Given the choice between gentle lovemaking with orgasm and rough sex without, I'll happily go without.

    I can get an orgasm another time, or give myself one. What I can't get, what I haven't gotten, was feeling raw male passion. For me, this is worth more than 25 orgasms. [And chances are good I'll come from the mental power of the sex. But that's not the reason I want rough. I want sex with a man who is able to show me that side of him.]

    Enneagram 5w4.  I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.

    "I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
    MiddleManJellyBeanTennee
  • leoslayerleoslayer NCSilver Member Posts: 1,920
    leoslayer said:

    I'll ask you if you could have an O 99.8% of the time would you choose not to?
    Yes.

    As I said, I O easily. I won't go into details ... but I do. 99.8% may be an under estimate.

    Given the choice between gentle lovemaking with orgasm and rough sex without, I'll happily go without.

    I can get an orgasm another time, or give myself one. What I can't get, what I haven't gotten, was feeling raw male passion. For me, this is worth more than 25 orgasms. [And chances are good I'll come from the mental power of the sex. But that's not the reason I want rough. I want sex with a man who is able to show me that side of him.]
    I don't do gentle ever. So I'm talking pounded with orgasms.
  • leoslayerleoslayer NCSilver Member Posts: 1,920
    leoslayer said:
    @Husband3point0 I was married for 16 yrs. I've had LTRs. 

    The reality is all guys should up their game to the best of their ability. Because most guys aren't that good.

    Assuming I agree with that assessment (I don't by the way), then sure, you have a point. But that's not really the thrust of the OP's question. Plus, we've seen plenty of threads where an insecure dude was just making things worse by pushing for an O when their lady didn't want or need one.

    Never mind the thundering herd of threads in which women have said "It's complicated." In this thread alone the responses have ranged from Hell yeah to Probably to Meh to "I'll let you know when your dick is inside me."

    Really, the premise that all women want to come all the time and they only reason they fake it and take a pass is because their men can't fuck like you... it's a bit arrogant.
    I said all of us. Me included. But yes I'm arrogant as fuck in this matter. The one thing I bring to the relationship is great sex. 

    I know women's bodies. I always know what they want and what they crave. It doesn't matter if they're upset with me or not it's going to happen.

    Yeah I'm not a great communicator, I suck at a lot of relationship comfort stuff. I envy all the guys here with skills I don't possess.

    But sex with a woman in a one on one or group format I'm pretty much an expert at.

    It's the only thing that gives me a chance to have a relationship in the first place.
  • BeansBeans Member Posts: 427


    no matter what she says, i can tell that she absolutely loves being treated like my sex object and feeling how much i lust after her ... she did not like feeling pressure of having to respond like a sex puppet... because it is always in the context of a loving marriage, its all good ... so make it all about you, captain ... direct and invite her along ... let her feel how happy you are with her and keep the invitations open for her to join you when she wants to 'try'

    youre getting there - keep going
    Thanks for the insight!
  • RockstarRockstar Bottom of a bottle of Peach Nehi, TexasSilver Member Posts: 280
    I know women's bodies. I always know when an orgasm just isn't going to happen for them. It doesn't matter if they're upset with me or not it's not going to happen.
    FTFY. lol

    Sorry leo, that was passive aggressive, but geeshus man. Delusions of grandeur much?

    i gotta give you a high five for confidence though.  Peace xxxx

    And as far as RC goes, you can do it. Just do it!

    I have 3 and 13 year old girls, married 20+ years to an awesome husband just past midlife crisis who's battling lowT with shots and I have major ADD. We are in a much better place these days mostly thanks to this community. Thanks all!

    Reason I'm here: to better understand the general workings of the male mind and help husbands and wives by providing insight from a mostly sane female perspective. 

  • Husband3point0Husband3point0 Gold Men Posts: 3,294
    Beans said:
    Case in point....last night was the first time my wife tried to call me out on the alpha I was bringing, caught me off-guard. We were in bed and I was initiating after drive-bys all day, she said "Why do you feel like you can always tell me what to do and think you can get your way with me??"...she's saying this while taking her panties off and touching herself. Thanks to you all, I know this is progress.
    Just to hammer the point home, what do you think the purpose of her Q was?
    MiddleMan
  • Husband3point0Husband3point0 Gold Men Posts: 3,294
    Beans said:
    Beans said:
    Case in point....last night was the first time my wife tried to call me out on the alpha I was bringing, caught me off-guard. We were in bed and I was initiating after drive-bys all day, she said "Why do you feel like you can always tell me what to do and think you can get your way with me??"...she's saying this while taking her panties off and touching herself. Thanks to you all, I know this is progress.
    Just to hammer the point home, what do you think the purpose of her Q was?
    I took it as a test....so I laughed and agreed with her and "yes I do with your fine self"

    A year ago I would've perceived it as her being mad at me and tried to covert contract it away.



    Exactly. It was a test. 

    In the context of my previous comment, it was a test to see if you were really Wolverine, or still Walter Mitty wearing a Wolverine mask. 
    TenneeMiddleManBlackwulf
  • Husband3point0Husband3point0 Gold Men Posts: 3,294
    Aha!  I found it. I knew we had a thread related to this idea here already: http://marriedmansexlife.vanillacommunities.com/discussion/11947/on-parlaying-duty-sex/p1

    Towards the end of page 2 and through the next few pages after that, several women expound greatly on this idea. I believe that thread addresses the original Q from @Beans as well as what myself and @angeline were trying to get across to @leoslayer

    That thread is going to be helpful to quite a few people, I think. 
    Tennee
  • HildaCornersHildaCorners Winter? You call *that* winter?Gold Women Posts: 3,377
    leoslayer said:
    I don't do gentle ever. So I'm talking pounded with orgasms.
    Of my 127* former husbands, exactly none of them pounded me on a regular basis.

    Besides, this thread isn't about you and how you treat women.

    * 127 is not the real number, but I have had more husbands than I ever wanted — and no matter what face they showed to the world, they were too gentle in bed.

    Enneagram 5w4.  I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.

    "I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
  • beribbonedberibboned caMember Posts: 359
    Orgasms make me feel much closer so that's one big reason I always want them. No orgasms make me feel punished in a way i strongly dislike.  
    Tennee
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