You have found an archive of the MMSL Forum, which shut down on December 27, 2016. You can continue these discussions on this forum
It was 2 years ago when I discovered this website and started posting. Since then, I feel like we've done a 180 since then.
I feel like we've had a breakthrough. My H came to me and wanted to "have a talk". When he told me that he finally understands that he shouldn't be complaining about the kids all the time, I literally felt the clouds parting and heard the hallelujah chorus.
Compared to two years ago when he used to blow up almost daily and hide out in his "man cave", he's less stressed and calmer. He's contributing more, learning to cook, and eager to find a job.
We talked into the late hours talking. We discussed about our marriage and went over past CMN. Went over our recurring issue of his insecurity and my tendency to withdraw. Discussed what to work on and our goals for the future. He reassured me how he loves me and how he wants to improve and be there for me. That he's sorry about the time he's wasted and all the past hurts.
Sex is now up to an average of 3-4x/week from a couple times a month. He used to be resentful that he felt like he's had to be the one to initiate all the time. Then he had an aha moment when he realized that all the times I dressed nice for the evening/bedtime was my way of initiating. Duh! Now even shark week doesn't stop him.
We still have a lot of work to do toward building a stronger marriage and improving our life and ourselves. It's not quite the captain and FO model yet. But now I feel like we're both at the steering wheel heading in the same direction instead of just me at the helm looking back at the incompetent crewmate.
I feel excited and positive and wanted to share. Thanks all who have helped me on this journey.
Comments
BAM
Fate favors the prepared.
H has always been romantic, but he's been more lately. One weekend, he prepared a romantic dinner for us. The whole clichéd package with candles, music and rose petals everywhere. And bought me flowers, jewelry and lingerie. All just because.
He's started reading The Book. He's not a reader, so this is major. A year ago when I asked him to read it, it fell on deaf ears.
And he's been spoiling me with regular massages. And no, they're not covert contracts since they don't always end with happy endings for him.
We've been sending each other cute, funny messages during the day.
A little humble bragging, as words of encouragement.
Put back on course via a 'One Hour Call' with Athol. Seriously worth 10 times the cost, but don't tell him that....
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl