Ladies: Talk to me about 'Partial Orgasms'

UnBetaMe

So W has been having more orgasms and they taking less time, on average, to achieve.

However, once in a while she comments about her orgasm being only a 'Partial orgasm'.
I can't distinguish between them. At least not yet. She says I'm not the reason because I keep going until she is completely done... which is normally what helps her.

I'm not sure if it is 'cycle' related or not.

So, not all orgasms are created equal. Any advice?

Winter

UnBetaMe said:

So, not all orgasms are created equal. Any advice?

No, no they are not!

What do you need advice on?  Did she indicate that the 'partial' wasn't enough for her?  Was it like she was trying to get there and couldn't (very frustrating) or was it just a less intense O (totally normal)?

Mine vary for day to day, minute to minute.  Some are quick releases, some I feel like I am riding on a high forever (but it's probably only a minute or so), some get there fast, some seem take forever to climb to.

LadyOrTheTyger

I honestly think this is something you need to discuss with your wife.  We can probably all agree that not all orgams are created equal, but beyond that, women's bodies and sexual needs are so very very different from one another.  What is good for me might be bad for Winter and indifferent to your wife.  I might need something to get off that your wife can't stand, or vice versa.  

UnBetaMe

@winter Less intense than other times. She is getting there for sure. It isn't until afterward that she comments that it was Partial. She certainly seems a little disappointed when it happens.

@LadyOrTheTyger I agree that I need to talk to her about this. I was just looking for perspective on what the partial feeling might be like and if its potentially cycle related or some other reason that might be common.

Also ideas on how/when to approach talking about it.

I assume that I should ask her right when she comments about it. But, what to say? How to say it. I want to keep this momentum going.

forestleaf

I call that "missing the peak" or similar.  Nothing I can do about it, no warning it's going to be that way.  It isn't terrible, just not super fantastic.  I don't think you should worry about it.  Just make sure she's amply warmed up prior and super turned on, and that might decrease the frequency of those. 

amblrgirl

forestleaf said:

I call that "missing the peak" or similar. 

That's a good description for my experience with it as well. It usually happens if something about the stimulation changes (rhythm, speed, or some slight change in the actual movement/angle/position). It's more common if I'm having to chase my O.

I've also found that alcohol can lower the intensity of my O's and sometimes even my ability to get there at all.

UnBetaMe

@amblrgirl Thank you. This is useful for me. I try not to change anything when I sense she is getting close, but I'm often enjoying my own experience and can't be sure. 

Alcohol was relevant last night, maybe 3 glasses of wine? I'll be mindful of this next time it happens.

Does this feeling ever leave you wanting more, or just done and disappointed?

Winter

Yes, alcohol absolutely reduces my ability to have intense O's or even O at all as well. 

LadyOrTheTyger

UnBetaMe said:

@LadyOrTheTyger I agree that I need to talk to her about this. I was just looking for perspective on what the partial feeling might be like and if its potentially cycle related or some other reason that might be common.

Okay I apologize; I see what you're asking now.  I agree with the others that it feels like you just missed the peak.  Somewhere in the buildup it fell off.  And alcohol definitely plays into it for me too.  

For me, when I miss it, I can't try again right away.  I'll ride along for his orgasm, but continuing to chase mine at that point is just frustrating and physically irritating.  I do usually want to try again soon though.  

Winter

I don't classify 'missing the peak' as having any kind of O at all. So if that is what is happening I can see how she may feel disappointed. 

Missing the peak for me is not at all the same as the different kinds of O's that I do have.  I'm not sure if you are asking about actually reaching O and the variations that can hold. In my experience I can have 'light, easy O's" or 'super intense full body O's' and anything in between. I even have what we call 'mini O's' like going up and down small little hills as opposed to a big rollercoaster.   All of these are O's 'to completion' so not a 'missed peak' but perhaps a smaller one.  

I would get self conscious if my H was trying to drive me to a bigger O when it just wasn't going to happen. Asking her what she wants in the moment and letting her drive the experience in that direction may help. For me, I know exactly what has to happen in the moment to get where I want to go and I appreciate that my husband follows my lead and helps me get there. 

UnBetaMe

Just to clarify; She is definitely having an orgasm. Still Hass contractions around me and is bucking her hips. Afterward she will say, in disappointed tone, that was just a partial orgasm.
The full ones and these partial ones feel the same from my perspective.

frillyfun

Are you feeling her contractions during/after you have your O inside her?  Semen can cause those contractions.

Is she a one, and done kind of gal, or do you think she'd be receptive to using a vibe on her after?

amblrgirl

UnBetaMe said:

@amblrgirl Thank you. This is useful for me. I try not to change anything when I sense she is getting close, but I'm often enjoying my own experience and can't be sure. 

Alcohol was relevant last night, maybe 3 glasses of wine? I'll be mindful of this next time it happens.

Does this feeling ever leave you wanting more, or just done and disappointed?

Yeah 3 glasses of wine could definitely make an O harder for me. And as you mentioned, it's possible that you're shifting at the end as you approach O without even realizing you're changing it up.

Most of the time, once my O starts, I'm going to reach that peak even if H changes something as he approaches O. But on the rare occasion that I don't find the top, it usually happens like this:

I'm having a hard time anyway, I finally start to O but the peak takes awhile to climb, H starts to O before I peak and he just naturally changes his movements as he O's, then my O dissipates without the peak.

I haven't had any success getting it back after that. So unfortunately, I do feel a little done and disappointed. But that's easily remedied with an awesome O on a follow-up session. 

ETA: Regarding feeling her contractions, H definitely thinks I have O'd completely when this happens. From his POV, he cannot tell the difference between a full O and a missed peak. It looks/sounds/feels the same from where he's laying (or standing, sitting, doing a headstand, whatever). He only knows it's a miss if I tell him.

LadyOrTheTyger

UnBetaMe said:

Just to clarify; She is definitely having an orgasm. Still Hass contractions around me and is bucking her hips. Afterward she will say, in disappointed tone, that was just a partial orgasm.
The full ones and these partial ones feel the same from my perspective.

Yeah.... I think you're going to have to ask her.  It sounds like she's just having a smaller, lesser O but really only she knows for sure.  

UnBetaMe

frillyfun said:

Are you feeling her contractions during/after you have your O inside her?  Semen can cause those contractions.

Is she a one, and done kind of gal, or do you think she'd be receptive to using a vibe on her after?

She needs to use the vibe to get there in the first place, so she is in control of the process of gettinger hers.

She seems to be a one and done type of gal, but she is also having about twice as many orgasms as she did last year with me... and they seem to be easier to achieve.

I usually wait for her contractions in order to release my own. Sometimes I don't time it exactly right, but last night I waited until she was done.

Winter

Do you communicate at all during sex?  Like in the moment?  When I am going for mine H is very aware (I am vocally and physically showing him) and would not finish without knowing for sure that I'm 'done'. 

I sound so selfish. 

LadyOrTheTyger

Winter said:

Do you communicate at all during sex?  Like in the moment?  When I am going for mine H is very aware (I am vocally and physically showing him) and would not finish without knowing for sure that I'm 'done'. 

I sound so selfish. 

No, you sound like you advocate for your own pleasure, which is a good thing.  



Believe me, if men needed a giraffe, a nun, and a weedeater to reach orgam, houses would come pre- built with a cloister, a tall stable, and a utility shed. 

Shepard

LadyOrTheTyger said:

Believe me, if men needed a giraffe, a nun, and a weedeater to reach orgam, houses would come pre- built with a cloister, a tall stable, and a utility shed. 

Great. I'm going to bed now and I read this just before shutting off the computer. I wonder what weird dreams this will cause 

HildaCorners

@Shepard let us know!

I'll sometimes plateau ... not exactly a missed peak, but I'll reach a level just short of orgasm and get stuck there. Eventually I just give up on an O that time.

DaddyOh

HildaCorners said:

@Shepard let us know!

I'll sometimes plateau ... not exactly a missed peak, but I'll reach a level just short of orgasm and get stuck there. Eventually I just give up on an O that time.

So if youre riding a wave ( let's just say a 7 on a 1-10) and don't reach the O, in your head the experience is as a "missed opportunity" or pleasurable?

Winter

If I know I'm on a rollercoaster and I get stuck going up hill then yes, that's a missed opportunity. And very frustrating.