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Ladies: Talk to me about 'Partial Orgasms'

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  • UnBetaMeUnBetaMe Through The GatesMember Posts: 1,211
    edited September 12
    Winter said:
    Do you communicate at all during sex?  Like in the moment?  When I am going for mine H is very aware (I am vocally and physically showing him) and would not finish without knowing for sure that I'm 'done'. 

    I sound so selfish. 
    The most she usually says is 'keep going' if I happen to slow down or change something. 

    If I can,  next time, I might hold off until she seems done and ask her if she's done, or if she wants more, before I finish. 

    As an aside, this would be quite a victory for me as I had a history with PE. (See PE thread)
    SaigoTakamoriMiddleMan
  • CallmeCatCallmeCat DownsouthSilver Member Posts: 236
    I find that sometimes I am getting very close to O and it kind of starts but I don't get there so maybe that's what she is describing to you. Does it bother me, well no it is better when I reach it but what does bug me is when that happens 3 or 4 times in a row. You men have it good be thankful. My H is perplexed about how what works today fails tomorrow. If we have a few sessions with no O when I finally do it is usually a really good one. It does not make me frustrated at him though as quite frankly sounds like most men get to work way longer getting the women to O ,but you are all horn dogs and that's your job ;)
    UnBetaMeTennee
  • AlphaVsBetaAlphaVsBeta CaliforniaSilver Member Posts: 395
    Or, in some cases, we time it wrong, she never reaches a peak, refraction takes more than 15 minutes, she gets frustrated, and the negative feed back loop starts...Positive outcomes lead to more positive outcomes, while negative ones can lead to lots of anxiety...
    UnBetaMeTennee
  • forestleafforestleaf At the farmGold Women Posts: 1,703
    Hmm, I wonder if we're talking about different things.  For me, "missing my peak" is when I'm sure I had an orgasm, but the actual peak felt like not much of anything.  However, what @Winter mentioned about "feeling the climb" and "not being able to get over the edge" to me means cannot reach orgasm despite strong effort, and yes that really leaves me very disappointed and frustrated.  Sometimes I worry that's happening more often.  Usually my H buys another toy and the orgasms come back stronger and better.  I think the newness of something (whether that's a new toy, new position, watching porn) gets me going and makes orgasm more likely.  I haven't read through your Boundary Pushing thread in a while, @UnBetaMe, but where are you and your W in terms of the AS department?  I ask because new activities in that area make "missing my peak" pretty much obsolete, at least in my recent experience.
    TenneeKattMrsJonUnBetaMe
  • UnBetaMeUnBetaMe Through The GatesMember Posts: 1,211
    @forestleaf I hear what you are saying. I haven't been pushing the AS at all. We have been making great strides in her frequency of orgasms, so I put that on the back burner.

    She was having very strong orgasms sevetal months ago when I was using my thumb in the back door after she got warmed up in doggy. I might get back to that sooner than later now that youentire your experience.

    She also has a birthday coming up, so a new toy would likely be a great idea as well. :)
  • HildaCornersHildaCorners Winter? You call *that* winter?Gold Women Posts: 3,377
    edited September 13
    DaddyOh said:
    @Shepard let us know! :D

    I'll sometimes plateau ... not exactly a missed peak, but I'll reach a level just short of orgasm and get stuck there. Eventually I just give up on an O that time.
    So if youre riding a wave ( let's just say a 7 on a 1-10) and don't reach the O, in your head the experience is as a "missed opportunity" or pleasurable?
    When it happens, I feel frustrated.

    First, this hasn't happened in a long time — but I've been single for a long time too. I occasionally plateau when I'm taking care of myself, somewhat more often with a partner. I normally O easily.

    My previous partners were not wise lovers, and I didn't talk about sex. I'm not sure they knew I plateaued, or cared, They never offered to do anything special for me.

    When I'm in control, I'll wait for at least a few hours, and take myself to success. I can't wait less time, the plateau sticks around a while and I'll get nowhere. I have to get up and  think about/do other things for a while to re-set.

    I don't like the plateau, but I don't obsess about it. I know I'll have an O the next time I try. No scarcity mentality here!

    If you're with a woman like me, and she complains about a "partial orgasm", my suggestion would be to get out of bed, give her some extra relationship comfort, and be about your day. Stoke her responsive desire, building to another session several hours/that evening/the next day later. Then, do everything you can to make her O.
    Enneagram 5w4.  I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.

    "I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
    MiddleManEANx
  • UnBetaMeUnBetaMe Through The GatesMember Posts: 1,211
    I'll add more detail in my Baby Steps thread later. 
    However, on this topic, W had an orgasm last night as per usual with her vibe while I take her from behind.

    When her initial glory had subsided, I asked her if she wanted more. She said 'No' and I proceeded to take her to pound town for another minute or so to finish myself.

    Afterward she asked what that was all about. I told her I didn't want to leave her with a partial orgasm. She said that she always likes it best when we O at the same time. 

    So, there you have it....

  • RedfordRedford The Great White NorthSilver Member Posts: 679
    edited September 20
    Over. Analyzing. It. Again. 

    So, tell me. Are you an engineer or a financial analyst?   :p
    AngelineHildaCorners42andatowel
  • EANxEANx Local GroupSilver Member Posts: 509
    The thing that has become evident to me recently is that women aren't like men when it comes to sex. Yes, I know, TOTALLY new thought!

    So I'm spooning with the GF and slip my thumb in. She can orgasm easily with my thumb pressing on her g-spot and it's the right angle. but she wants PIV. With that, sometimes she Os and sometimes she doesn't but she's always insistent about replacing the guaranteed O of the thumb with the uncertain O of PIV.

    So the real key is not to get too wrapped up in what the other person wants. Let them want what they want.
    UnBetaMeTennee
  • UnBetaMeUnBetaMe Through The GatesMember Posts: 1,211
    edited October 4
    UnBetaMe said:
    Redford said:
    I would have never guessed!
    Nobody rocks a pocket protector and a BAII Plus calculator like this guy! *Pushes glasses up nose*
    You use calculators for finmath!  How quaint. 
    I was waiting for you to comment on that. :) I thought 'abacus' would have been too much. 
    How do you wear your algos? 

    FTR: I dont wear glasses or pocket protectors either. 
    Angeline42andatowelShepard
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