Have you and your husband taken the mojo quiz? H and I made it a date night in. We took the quiz separately and then enjoyed a glass of wine while we reviewed our results together and talked about specifics.
I think it provides a good framework for talking about what you like/don't like. It gave my H a clearer idea of what I wanted in the bedroom and gave him "permission" to push boundaries much further than he thought he could before.
I wish I could find a movie with a scene of what I mean we would have to watch it a few times, and yea no porn he's had issues with that in the past.
One of my favorites along this vein is The Thomas Crown Affair, the version with Pierce Brosnan. R rated, no BDSM but dominance (and male alpha), and plenty of action/adventure so it doesn't read as a chick flick. Watch it by yourself first to see if it will work for you.
When it first came out, some friends and I talked about "marble staircase men" — men who were so sexy we'd happily be bottom on a marble staircase. We had some fun debates on *who* our personal marble staircase men were.
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
@amblrgirl you know we did do that mojo test and have done a couple things from that but not much and he has weak execution so that's a problem. I will have to refer to it again and say hey let's do x it's on the list you know. @ Hildacorners Thanks for your input I will go see if Netflix has that movie and watch if they do. If you think of any others let me know. YUm Peirce Brosnon.
@Mongrel you know I asked him to pI'll my hair once a while back now mine is not quite long enough for a real pony tail but long enough for a good yank and he kind of freaked out, he did it just barely gently of course and has not done it since. Maybe I will let that be something I ask for again and see what happens. As for the mouth fuck, a similar scenario, I was giving BJ and he grabbed my head and started to get rougher which was fine but he gagged me and when I come up for air he stopped and apologized and I said it was fine as alot of times I stop for air but I know as well as I am sitting here it bothered him as he has not touched my head again during oral. I quite liked it and I always tell him I will let you know if I don't want or don't like something and I would too. Occasionally when I give BJ he will say how aboit a facial and that's a boundary I won't cross and he knows it but he grins while asking and I am sure in the back of his mind he thinks it may happen some day but not likely. With that being said he can spank me, pull my hair ,talk dirty, throw me around and bite me too and that would be fun, now just getting him to do it. I have read lots of good suggestions and that's why I posted all the people on here can be really helpful.
I've lobbied for facials or just spitting out and letting it dribble. My kink, not for everyone. You should never do something you don't want to do but...if there is something you aren't wild about but are willing to do that would help him see you as a little more dirty/slutty and less as the mother of his children it may help motivate him to do things you want. If Mrs M would ever ask me to cum on her face for a finish I'd be up for any other nasty stuff she would suggest. I'm not telling you to do this particular thing, just using it as an example.
@CallmeCat your verbal requests may be no heard as well as you'd like. You may have better luck with a more hands on approach. If you want him to pull your hair, put his hand up there and ask him to pull, then squeal in pleasure. Same for the healnholding during a BJ. Pt his hand on your head and show him how to guide you--no words necessary.
Also, if he's the kind of guy that you can tease into a frenzy, that may be your approach to get him more amped up. I'm thinking lingerie and a little tease and denial play to get him all charged up and set him loose on you.
Lastly, realize how much you may be asking of him. After all, you're asking him to change the way he has sex, which can really ruin a guys confidence. You've even asked him to change how he receives a blowjob; in all likelihood, he thought a BJ was more about his pleasure. I don't mean to indicate you're in the wrong, but you are asking a lot. Be prepared for some hesitation and maybe even a miss or two along the way. The only request of his that you mentioned was for a facial, which you seem set against. It may be constructive to give him something he wants, too. Don't fly past your boundaries, but consider where you can meet him. For a guy who likes to er… see his work, maybe ejaculating on your breasts would be a good stand in. If fluids aren't in play, maybe find another area to explore. That kind of stuff could be a really powerful reward for him upping the dominance.
'Be more dominant' is a strategy. It's abstract. That's only helpful later on, after the tactics and logistics are in-place.
'Smack my ass while you fuck me from behind. Don't make love to me like I'm fragile. Hit my pussy like you're a rapper and I'm rented for the afternoon.' That's tactical. It's concrete.
The women who come here complaining of this phenomenon often initially resort to telling their H how they want to feel. Men don't think like that. That's not how our brains work. Like it or lump it but men have a metaphorical sheet of paper that's creased down the middle with "Do this" and "Don't do this" written at the top. Your problem is that too many of the things you want were programmed into him to put into the "Don't do this" wife of the page. And that word is bold on purpose -- it was programming, not just merely mentioned in passing. So, you're going to need to work hard to get the first few items moved from column B into column A.
The good news is that it gets easier. IF (and this is a big "if") he gets positive feedback from you that this is what you really want.
As a man I'm almost ashamed to admit this but -- my testicles actually might be able to control me. If I was starved for food and sex, I would delay food to get sex. No exaggeration.
In short, NLP aimed at my nuts will defeat my childhood issues.
@wanderingTheDesert I know asking for sex on a more dominant way is probably not great for his ego and that is the last thing I am trying to do believe me so I will choose my words carefully and will try to always give praise when he does something a bit more bold. I did not try and change the way his BJ went down I was just mentioning how he grabbed my head, I did not ask him too. Yes I realise that is for his pleasure mostly I do enjoy giving them as I know how much he likes it but he usually cuts it off before I stop, I think he just does not want to finish too quick. When I do a bjtc I allow him to put it where he wants on my breast or stomach just not my face. @Husband3point0 so basically your saying to just ask for specifics right? Don't just say dominance? I will try to do that just a little at a time. I know I don't want to overwelm him and that he is programmed to be a nice guy.
You don't even need to ask. Forget about words. Grab his hands and put them where you want them during a BJ. Sure it's for his pleasure, but you're allowed to enjoy it too. During sex, put your wrist in his hand and close his fingers around it with the other hand. Put his hand in your hair and clench your hand over his and then let go, or put your ponytail in his hand.
He might stop or let go. What you want him to do will be indelibly printed if you stop what you're doing with your mouth, put his hands back where you want them, and only continue when he grabs on lol. To hell with words, he will never forget that connection.
Couple of rules:
Make damned sure this is what you want before you go there.
Don't ever, ever make him the bad guy for doing what you ask in this way. If it hurts, say so before it gets out of hand, and you can still do so with a little "ouch, just a bit less please" vs getting all shrieky.
"Speak your truth." - Scarlet Remember to play! Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not. Be married, until you are not.
Don't ever, ever make him the bad guy for doing what you ask in this way. If it hurts, say so before it gets out of hand, and you can still do so with a little "ouch, just a bit less please" vs getting all shrieky.
This cannot be emphasized enough. I lived this very vividly and can say for a fact that it was devastating.
I 'took charge' two years ago at her explicit request and when everything didn't go exactly as she had planned in her head, my wife basically acted like I was a rapist. If I hadn't been on this forum and in the middle of a coaching program too at the time, I would very likely be divorced right now. I honestly wonder if Angeline is alluding to my story with this, TBH. Because it was epic bad for quite a while...
People generally suck at mind reading. And, to be brutally honest about it, heterosexual adult men in particular are especially shitty at it. Which hopefully isn't too surprising because the same testosterone-laden stereotypical "guy" characteristics that turn you on in men are what give us our craptastic EQs. That's why you can chat with your male hairdresser easily about shoes and reality tv, but you also know that he's not going to throw you over the chair and make you his bitch when he's done with your coif.
Husbands who are not reading this are also not reading your minds. He probably doesn't know what you really want, and he definitely doesn't know what you don't want. And, if you're not willing or able to maturely deal with his failed attempts, then don't open that door.
8
HildaCornersWinter? You call *that* winter?Gold WomenPosts: 3,377
And don't forget positive reinforcement!
When he moves a half-inch closer to what you want, moan in pleasure during, and after, tell him how much you enjoyed it. Repeat until the half-inch movement is typical, and slack off a bit on the reward, until ...
... you get him to move an inch closer. [For example, instead of merely putting his hand on your head, he gently grabs your hair.] Again, out come all the reinforcements.
Keep ramping up as he gradually adds more of the things you want. It's like training a dog to do complex tricks, you reward any progress toward the goal — and ignore backsliding. That's important too.
Because he's not a dog, eventually he'll get the message that you like rough, and he'll start adding his own creative touches. At which point the rewarding goes off the charts.
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
I would make it clear your not puting down is abilities in bed. You just asking him to change up his style. If you can draw on thing he has done in the past all the better for his ego. Based on your other post he has done things that have really turned you on. Nothing wrong with grabbing is junk and asking if he needs to go make a drink, add a wink and a devilish grin. Or you could mention you had a hot dream of when you did xyz to me that one time could you do that to me again.
I like the idea mentioned above about putting his hands where you want them. Make sure he knows you will speak up of it hurts. If he thinks he hurt you and stops(in bj pushing head down). Make sure you tell him your okay and how hot you thought it was. This will let him know he still has a green light.
I honestly wonder if Angeline is alluding to my story with this, TBH. Because it was epic bad for quite a while...
Nope, this is just good ground rules for trying out taboo-ish fantasies and naughtier sex than you're accustomed to. Not only is it a Nice Guy fear to hurt you, it's also explosive TNT in the hands of a vindictive spouse. Women who want their guy to "man up" need to realize that.
"Speak your truth." - Scarlet Remember to play! Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not. Be married, until you are not.
@Lothbrok some good tips for sure and I may try what you said about the drink, he did that one all on his own and it was hot and I positively reinforced that a couple of times afterwards. Also with the BJ he was the one that grabbed my head and I didn't mind at all but when I gagged a bit he quit and I did sat it was okay I was just catching my breath. But he didn't put his hands back on my head so I will take your advice @Angeline and place them the next time. He tends to stop oral after not too long. Lots of good suggestions. I can't imagine a husband getting vindictive when askin for rougher sex but I saw a scene play out like that in a episode of masters of sex it was freaky for sure. @MissD. I don't think he thought I was blaming him for the headache I actually think it kinda made him grin that my o was that intense,and he mostly got me there.
There us a big difference between saying something is "it okay I just needed to catch my breath" and "that was hot keep going, I just needed to catch my breath". Then putting his hands back on you head. You don't want to be subtle, we are not very good at picking that up. There needs to be no doubt in his mind that you into what he is doing.
I had trouble with my wife because she got very quiet when i was getting her closr to O. Since i wasnt getting feed back i would move on to something else and she would miss the O. Figured this out when I just started doing what I want, and letting her O be on her. My wife thought she was making it clear as day and didn't want to say something that would hurt my feelings.
Well not sure what to think, we just got back from vacation and no vacation sex. With that being said I am trying not to take it to personal as we went with my daughter sil and two grankids 6 and 2. Stayed in a condo and the grandaughter room was right next to ours with only a long closet type door between them that if she pushed would come right into ours. I looked at it like a challenge but I guess H did not and tbh we were on the go from early to late so everyone was pretty tired. I did ask midweek when we went to bed if he was up for some fooling around and he said I am just so tired but he did hug me and I did not get pussy remained OI rolled over and crashed. Then he got sick on the way home and still feels bad today. So I am sure in hopes that the last time we had sex and He said he didn't realise he was doing it wrong when I was suggesting rougher and that he really was just not comfortable with it knowing the gandaughter could bust in at any given moment. That's the first time we had been on a vacation with adult children and grandkids and it was fun and exhausting. I still have plans to incorporate all the great suggestions in this thread.
One thing I can report that I think was positive in trying to get him to do certain things without asking, a couple of different times recently when we were having sexy time we were standing in the bedroom and I leaned into him with us facing the same direction and started rubbing my buns against him I grabbed his hands and pulled them around me placing one on my breast and the other between my legs and then I let go once he grabbed on and I used my hands to pull him closer to me and do some teasing. I found this to be a real turn on for foreplay and the next time I backed into him he automatically started caressing my girly bits so I can see were the suggestion of placing hands can work with no words. Now I am not sure why the heck that cranks my engine but it just does.
Well a quick update on this thread. After my H finally got to feeling better so he finally had a session. It had been two and a half weeks so I wasn't concentrating on the rough play I was just needing sex period but he says why don't you go fix us somethung to drink and take that shirt off in a rather bossy way and I said well ... Got up to fix us drinks he goes to put the dog out and I took my shirt off walk over to the back door and smashed my boobs onto the glass so when he turned around in the yard he could see them. He returned rather quickly and came in and started fondling me in a rougher fashion and I was eating it up and made sure I was making a lots of verbal response to it as suggested by forum folks. We proceed to the bedroom and and it was going rather well and thank goodness he did not ask me what I wanted, he went and got out one of the favorite toys and just started in with it. I got very turned on and he tells me to get on top reverse cowgirl so I did . I was going to town and grabbed the vibrator and I was almost to O so I guess I was pushing him out aboit the time he was having his O and the vibrator hit his penis and he basically bucked me right off. I was like what the hell and he is going ouch shit and a few other words, I guess the vibe was too much right when he was Cumming and he couldn't stand the sensation and I just kind of laughed and said sorry. I have only had O recently during piv so it's new to me but he says when I O I push him out. So I just grabbed the vibe real quick and went back to it and had an O also. It was a turn on for me though as he was telling me what to do but I did let him know it was awesome . We have a ways to go for sure but I did let him know all during that I was loving it. I had alot of suggestions that were made in this thread in my head before the session went down but low and behold He just took charge.
Well I must say I am seeing some definite improvement in this area and I hope to goodness that it is permanent.
The first session I noticed after this last one, We were messing around and I went to give him oral and he was standing up so I got on my knees and started in. He touched the top of my head while this was going on so I reached for his hands and placed them one on each side of my face and he made kind of a strange noise and took his hands off. I slowed my roll and looked up at him and kind of smiled then went back to it and again I grabbed his hands and placed them back on my head and when I did this right then I really acted into it and he kept his hands on and I started playing with his butt which he loves but wont admit it, and he really started to move in a lot more dominant type motion if you will and when he did I moaned a bit more so he knew I was loving it but then he was getting to close to having an O so he stopped, but I felt like that was real progress. We went onto some more fun but the actions not words helped I think in making him realize I liked it.
Then the next time sex ensued before we got to the bedroom he was kissing the boobies and I said bite them, because you know how can I motion that one? Well he did, not very hard but he still did it, {glorious) and then when we ended up in bed and actually got down to Piv I was on top and I said I want doggie to finish and so we moved to that position and low and behold he is pounding me hard and he grabs my hair and starts pulling it and i really cranked up the pleasure moans. It caught me off guard but it was hot hot hot and right before he gets ready to O he says turn around I wanna come on your tits so I of course flipped around in a big hurry, squatted down and he did what he wanted and I watched him all while he did it with a smirk on my face. So slowly but surely I am getting my nice guy to up the dominance in the bedroom. And I also noticed that the next time there was nothing really very dominant but I don't need that all the time but if he brings some even every other go I am satisfied. I also noticed when we were in doggie position he held my hips differently before he grabbed my hair and it made it feel much more forceful for some reason . YUM
Also we were watching some movie and there was a scene where this woman was tied up and the guy was flogging her with a leather deal and he says maybe we need to get one of those, I am like Yeap!
Comments
I think it provides a good framework for talking about what you like/don't like. It gave my H a clearer idea of what I wanted in the bedroom and gave him "permission" to push boundaries much further than he thought he could before.
http://mojoupgrade.com/
ETA: He saved the results on his computer, so he has a list of ideas to work with.
Fitocracy: atxchick
Enneagram 6w5, married to a 5
When it first came out, some friends and I talked about "marble staircase men" — men who were so sexy we'd happily be bottom on a marble staircase. We had some fun debates on *who* our personal marble staircase men were.
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
@ Hildacorners Thanks for your input I will go see if Netflix has that movie and watch if they do. If you think of any others let me know. YUm Peirce Brosnon.
As for the mouth fuck, a similar scenario, I was giving BJ and he grabbed my head and started to get rougher which was fine but he gagged me and when I come up for air he stopped and apologized and I said it was fine as alot of times I stop for air but I know as well as I am sitting here it bothered him as he has not touched my head again during oral. I quite liked it and I always tell him I will let you know if I don't want or don't like something and I would too.
Occasionally when I give BJ he will say how aboit a facial and that's a boundary I won't cross and he knows it but he grins while asking and I am sure in the back of his mind he thinks it may happen some day but not likely. With that being said he can spank me, pull my hair ,talk dirty, throw me around and bite me too and that would be fun, now just getting him to do it. I have read lots of good suggestions and that's why I posted all the people on here can be really helpful.
I've lobbied for facials or just spitting out and letting it dribble. My kink, not for everyone. You should never do something you don't want to do but...if there is something you aren't wild about but are willing to do that would help him see you as a little more dirty/slutty and less as the mother of his children it may help motivate him to do things you want. If Mrs M would ever ask me to cum on her face for a finish I'd be up for any other nasty stuff she would suggest. I'm not telling you to do this particular thing, just using it as an example.
"Treating her like a princess didn't make me a prince, it made me a servant."
Link to triage questions: http://marriedmansexlife.com/triage-your-relationship-and-the-911-er-category/
Also, if he's the kind of guy that you can tease into a frenzy, that may be your approach to get him more amped up. I'm thinking lingerie and a little tease and denial play to get him all charged up and set him loose on you.
Lastly, realize how much you may be asking of him. After all, you're asking him to change the way he has sex, which can really ruin a guys confidence. You've even asked him to change how he receives a blowjob; in all likelihood, he thought a BJ was more about his pleasure. I don't mean to indicate you're in the wrong, but you are asking a lot. Be prepared for some hesitation and maybe even a miss or two along the way. The only request of his that you mentioned was for a facial, which you seem set against. It may be constructive to give him something he wants, too. Don't fly past your boundaries, but consider where you can meet him. For a guy who likes to er… see his work, maybe ejaculating on your breasts would be a good stand in. If fluids aren't in play, maybe find another area to explore. That kind of stuff could be a really powerful reward for him upping the dominance.
Map Thread: http://marriedmansexlife.vanillacommunities.com/discussion/14398/wanderingthedeserts-map#latest
'Be more dominant' is a strategy. It's abstract. That's only helpful later on, after the tactics and logistics are in-place.
'Smack my ass while you fuck me from behind. Don't make love to me like I'm fragile. Hit my pussy like you're a rapper and I'm rented for the afternoon.' That's tactical. It's concrete.
The women who come here complaining of this phenomenon often initially resort to telling their H how they want to feel. Men don't think like that. That's not how our brains work. Like it or lump it but men have a metaphorical sheet of paper that's creased down the middle with "Do this" and "Don't do this" written at the top. Your problem is that too many of the things you want were programmed into him to put into the "Don't do this" wife of the page. And that word is bold on purpose -- it was programming, not just merely mentioned in passing. So, you're going to need to work hard to get the first few items moved from column B into column A.
The good news is that it gets easier. IF (and this is a big "if") he gets positive feedback from you that this is what you really want.
As a man I'm almost ashamed to admit this but -- my testicles actually might be able to control me. If I was starved for food and sex, I would delay food to get sex. No exaggeration.
In short, NLP aimed at my nuts will defeat my childhood issues.
@Husband3point0 so basically your saying to just ask for specifics right? Don't just say dominance? I will try to do that just a little at a time. I know I don't want to overwelm him and that he is programmed to be a nice guy.
He might stop or let go. What you want him to do will be indelibly printed if you stop what you're doing with your mouth, put his hands back where you want them, and only continue when he grabs on lol. To hell with words, he will never forget that connection.
Couple of rules:
Make damned sure this is what you want before you go there.
Don't ever, ever make him the bad guy for doing what you ask in this way. If it hurts, say so before it gets out of hand, and you can still do so with a little "ouch, just a bit less please" vs getting all shrieky.
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
You should talk to him - have you discussed the post-O headaches with him? Does he he know they're not his fault and you're working on a solution?
B/c you really like the way he can make you O?
I 'took charge' two years ago at her explicit request and when everything didn't go exactly as she had planned in her head, my wife basically acted like I was a rapist. If I hadn't been on this forum and in the middle of a coaching program too at the time, I would very likely be divorced right now. I honestly wonder if Angeline is alluding to my story with this, TBH. Because it was epic bad for quite a while...
People generally suck at mind reading. And, to be brutally honest about it, heterosexual adult men in particular are especially shitty at it. Which hopefully isn't too surprising because the same testosterone-laden stereotypical "guy" characteristics that turn you on in men are what give us our craptastic EQs. That's why you can chat with your male hairdresser easily about shoes and reality tv, but you also know that he's not going to throw you over the chair and make you his bitch when he's done with your coif.
Husbands who are not reading this are also not reading your minds. He probably doesn't know what you really want, and he definitely doesn't know what you don't want. And, if you're not willing or able to maturely deal with his failed attempts, then don't open that door.
When he moves a half-inch closer to what you want, moan in pleasure during, and after, tell him how much you enjoyed it. Repeat until the half-inch movement is typical, and slack off a bit on the reward, until ...
... you get him to move an inch closer. [For example, instead of merely putting his hand on your head, he gently grabs your hair.] Again, out come all the reinforcements.
Keep ramping up as he gradually adds more of the things you want. It's like training a dog to do complex tricks, you reward any progress toward the goal — and ignore backsliding. That's important too.
Because he's not a dog, eventually he'll get the message that you like rough, and he'll start adding his own creative touches. At which point the rewarding goes off the charts.
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
Based on your other post he has done things that have really turned you on. Nothing wrong with grabbing is junk and asking if he needs to go make a drink, add a wink and a devilish grin. Or you could mention you had a hot dream of when you did xyz to me that one time could you do that to me again.
I like the idea mentioned above about putting his hands where you want them. Make sure he knows you will speak up of it hurts. If he thinks he hurt you and stops(in bj pushing head down). Make sure you tell him your okay and how hot you thought it was. This will let him know he still has a green light.
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
I had trouble with my wife because she got very quiet when i was getting her closr to O. Since i wasnt getting feed back i would move on to something else and she would miss the O. Figured this out when I just started doing what I want, and letting her O be on her. My wife thought she was making it clear as day and didn't want to say something that would hurt my feelings.
That's the first time we had been on a vacation with adult children and grandkids and it was fun and exhausting. I still have plans to incorporate all the great suggestions in this thread.
One thing I can report that I think was positive in trying to get him to do certain things without asking, a couple of different times recently when we were having sexy time we were standing in the bedroom and I leaned into him with us facing the same direction and started rubbing my buns against him I grabbed his hands and pulled them around me placing one on my breast and the other between my legs and then I let go once he grabbed on and I used my hands to pull him closer to me and do some teasing. I found this to be a real turn on for foreplay and the next time I backed into him he automatically started caressing my girly bits so I can see were the suggestion of placing hands can work with no words. Now I am not sure why the heck that cranks my engine but it just does.
We proceed to the bedroom and and it was going rather well and thank goodness he did not ask me what I wanted, he went and got out one of the favorite toys and just started in with it. I got very turned on and he tells me to get on top reverse cowgirl so I did . I was going to town and grabbed the vibrator and I was almost to O so I guess I was pushing him out aboit the time he was having his O and the vibrator hit his penis and he basically bucked me right off. I was like what the hell and he is going ouch shit and a few other words, I guess the vibe was too much right when he was Cumming and he couldn't stand the sensation and I just kind of laughed and said sorry. I have only had O recently during piv so it's new to me but he says when I O I push him out. So I just grabbed the vibe real quick and went back to it and had an O also. It was a turn on for me though as he was telling me what to do but I did let him know it was awesome . We have a ways to go for sure but I did let him know all during that I was loving it. I had alot of suggestions that were made in this thread in my head before the session went down but low and behold He just took charge.
The first session I noticed after this last one, We were messing around and I went to give him oral and he was standing up so I got on my knees and started in. He touched the top of my head while this was going on so I reached for his hands and placed them one on each side of my face and he made kind of a strange noise and took his hands off. I slowed my roll and looked up at him and kind of smiled then went back to it and again I grabbed his hands and placed them back on my head and when I did this right then I really acted into it and he kept his hands on and I started playing with his butt which he loves but wont admit it, and he really started to move in a lot more dominant type motion if you will and when he did I moaned a bit more so he knew I was loving it but then he was getting to close to having an O so he stopped, but I felt like that was real progress. We went onto some more fun but the actions not words helped I think in making him realize I liked it.
Then the next time sex ensued before we got to the bedroom he was kissing the boobies and I said bite them, because you know how can I motion that one? Well he did, not very hard but he still did it, {glorious) and then when we ended up in bed and actually got down to Piv I was on top and I said I want doggie to finish and so we moved to that position and low and behold he is pounding me hard and he grabs my hair and starts pulling it and i really cranked up the pleasure moans. It caught me off guard but it was hot hot hot and right before he gets ready to O he says turn around I wanna come on your tits so I of course flipped around in a big hurry, squatted down and he did what he wanted and I watched him all while he did it with a smirk on my face. So slowly but surely I am getting my nice guy to up the dominance in the bedroom. And I also noticed that the next time there was nothing really very dominant but I don't need that all the time but if he brings some even every other go I am satisfied. I also noticed when we were in doggie position he held my hips differently before he grabbed my hair and it made it feel much more forceful for some reason . YUM
Also we were watching some movie and there was a scene where this woman was tied up and the guy was flogging her with a leather deal and he says maybe we need to get one of those, I am like Yeap!