Wife went off HRT for a month and things went south...

monkeydog

Wife informed me last night that she hadn't been wearing her estrogen patch.

She wouldn't tell me for how long, but I counted the patches she has and it corresponds to a major shift in behavior.

Almost on a dime, she stopped sleeping, affection dropped, sex dried up from 2-3 a week to 2 quickies in the last 4 weeks.

She's back on it as of a couple nights ago, but I am getting major attitude and shit tests, even up the point where she is more or less per-emptively rejecting hotel sex this weekend, when we are going on a trip which I have captained the shit out of.

So, basically, her hormones went haywire and she has been blaming her crappy attitude over the last few weeks on me.

The only thing I can say is that it is like the light went out of her eyes when she looked at me -- it really hurt as we were just getting back to a good place.

So, while it's good to know I was not crazy, I am really tempted to confront her on this, rather than shutting up.

Thoughts?

Serenity

This happens a lot. People take their meds/supplements/hormones, and start feeling great. Then they start questioning whether they really even need the meds in the first place, and stop taking them.

It's a really predictable pattern.

I went through this with my husband a couple of times. 

He would use his supplemental testosterone, and feel great. His energy would increase, sex drive would come back, all would be well, and then ... for no apparent reason, he would fall off a cliff again.

You just have to hold her feet to the fire. It's not okay for her to ignore the medical. You don't have to be confrontational, just matter-of-fact. 

Is she also taking supplemental progesterone and supplemental testosterone?

monkeydog

No supplemental testosterone, estrogen and progesterone. She has an appointment in December to get all of this adjusted and she has been wondering why no testosterone.

I presume she'll have to go off it for a while to get her normal levels tested, not sure. I think she stopped in anticipation of this.

 I can tell almost to the day when the light went out and it corresponds perfectly to the number of patches left and the prescription date.

Why do you think she won't tell me how long she's been off?

Serenity

Eh. She probably just feels defensive. 

Estrogen alone can have some nasty side effects. It leads to estrogen dominance, and can cause feelings of moodiness and irritability, weight gain, etc. If she still has a uterus, unopposed estrogen can also cause the lining to thicken, causing (sometimes severe) complications.

Is she going to a competent provider? She's probably going to feel a lot better (and be a lot healthier) with supplemental progesterone. Supplemental testosterone will also help with energy, mood, weight control, and libido.

Creams are usually the most convenient and effective delivery mode.

She doesn't need to go off her estrogen in anticipation of testing. Saliva testing is the best method for when you're on HRT.

Why do you think she won't tell me how long she's been off? 

monkeydog

She is on progesterone and has a uterus, but one ovary was removed in 2012. I notice that her progesterone bottle is empty and by the phone, which makes me think she has called in a refill.

She has switched to a new provider, who is so booked she couldn't get in to see her until December about adjusting hormones.

I won't confront her, but I am angry that I spent a month wondering what the hell was going on, not getting laid and feeling completely cut off emotionally.

It's nice to know I wasn't crazy, but a bit of a shit sandwich, don't you think?

monkeydog

Sorry for the victim puke. I knew something was wrong and instead of confronting her, I internalized it and believed I was the issue, even though I was being awesome. 

Self-esteem is hard.

MissD

monkeydog said:

She's back on it as of a couple nights ago, but I am getting major attitude and shit tests, even up the point where she is more or less per-emptively rejecting hotel sex this weekend, when we are going on a trip which I have captained the shit out of.

She's sensing a covert contract?

monkeydog

She is seeing everything as a covert contract -- "all you want is sex, you are working out for sex, etc."

It will be ok, I've got this.

monkeydog

Just to clarify, this trip is her high school reunion. I am going mainly to mate guard (which she also senses) as well as to have some time to reconnect.

I do want to have sex, but I don't think that's a covert contract. I want sex every day and probably would be getting laid this weekend whether we went on trip or not.

Angeline

It may be that she's reading the mate guarding as insecure and needy vs the smart thing to do. The world at large doesn't like to be slapped with the need for mate guarding.

But it will go down better if you can own it and play with it. Be out land and proud that you are there to make sure no one steals your woman. "Come here. I gotta pee on your leg before we go so those horndogs know to keep away."
"They aren't like that!"
"Yes they are."
"They are not!"
"Yep. Or they're gay."

monkeydog

Day 1 of reunion, I nailed it just right. Wife was introducing me as captain awesome to all her girlfriends and pretty much all over me. I now have a harem for the main event tonight.

Crashaxe

If things keep improving, it seems to me that there is no need to address her having stopped the E, and the time you will need to address her not taking her meds is the next time that she stops.

monkeydog

Weekend worked out great. Wife is very happy and all her friends think I am awesome. Lots of affection, sexy times, fun with her family, really just about perfect. Ended with wife telling me to "sit in the captain's chair" and giving me a strip show and bjtc in front of full length mirror.

HRT for the win!