Spouses that don't communicate

Arrghmatey

I'm wondering if anyone else has run into the problem of their spouse doesn't communicate well, and what you've done when these situations happen?

My W has never been good about communicating when she's irked about something. She internalizes a lot, shuts down, and generally just acts pissed off at me for a while. Sometimes it's an hour, sometimes it's several days.

Perfect example from tonight: She was sitting in the chair playing video games on her laptop while the kids were watching a movie. I was making dinner and there was a bunch to get done. I asked if she would come help with dinner. She sort of rolled her eyes, got up, and acted all pissed off. Normally, she would  act like this for a while, without ever really admitting there was something wrong. However, I didn't want to deal with that over family dinner time, so I said "hey, if that's a big problem for you, go sit back down." She grabbed some laundry, and stomped up stairs.

Over dinner I asked her again what the problem was, and she told me "I've been doing work all day in the house (she did do some great cleanup). I was tired and didn't want to help". 
So of course I said "well, why didn't you just say so? It would be alot easier if we had a simple communication instead of just getting angry and shut down about it"

That led to a big fight, which turned into 8 other topics, I didn't STFU when I should, and basically set a bunch of our RM back. That was a screwup on my part, all my fault there. But the fundamental issue is what baffles me. I'm not sure how to handle it when she obviously is having a problem with something, and usually it could be easily resolved in a couple sentences but instead it turns into animosity for a while.

Any wisdom from the group? Have you run into this issue?

SignorePillolaRossa

Enjoy the silence
Do not orbit/chase/ask her about it 
Remain in frame and expect responsible behavior from her
Don't get drawn into fights if/when she decides to talk but rather hold her to speak responsibly

Reasonable topics discussed in reasonable way...  Shut down anything less and make sure you live it

Reborn

That led to a big fight, which turned into 8 other topics, I didn't STFU when I should, 

Part of the reason is probably how you react to communication, as you acknowledged above.

But the thing is, even if you change that, it takes a time, quite a long time, for the other person to start believing and trusting you reaction has changed. You can say "somethings bothering you, what is it?"  and then not dispute anything she says ... but that won't work so well the first time, or the second time... change takes time