Wife's affair six years ago: what to do.

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Comments

  • Ervin3070Ervin3070 Silver Member Posts: 51
    DaddyOh said:
    How about you Alpha up and go where you want to go. Sex or no sex, you're going to have a great trip if you decide on Fun stuff.

    Now, don't go extreme and go hunting with her if she's a vegan, but you have to lead. This is a great opportunity for you.

    If she says no, Hopefully you got a plan B and roll with your boys. 
    Good advice, which I will ponder and put into action.
  • Ervin3070Ervin3070 Silver Member Posts: 51
    @amblrgirl: I really appreciate your comments.  It's useful to me.  In my core, I believe L made a mistake; I am convinced beyond doubt that she loves me.  Also, we do have sex; it's just that it's not that often.  When we do, she really seems to enjoy it-  there are no signs whatsoever that she finds it repulsive, or uncomfortable.  Another user (forget who just now) has made some excellent comments about women's sex drive and, even though they're possibly slight generalisations (plenty of women have high sex drives!), they're useful.
  • Ervin3070Ervin3070 Silver Member Posts: 51
    amblrgirl said:
    I will add that for me, I've had more success in setting clear boundaries for acceptable behavior in the present (and enforcing them) than I've had trying to muddle through the past. 

    But again, I can understand how the affair issue (and feeling a lack of "closure" around it) may be different. So you're better off with advice from other forum members on that aspect of your situation.
    I think, in my case, and given that the affair was a long time ago, focussing on the present is probably the best thing.  I don't want to lose great things in the present for mourning things which I can't change.
    AdamBecker
  • Ervin3070Ervin3070 Silver Member Posts: 51
    @sf64: good advice.  I will work my way through MMSLP then go on to other books.  Thanks for the input.
  • Ervin3070Ervin3070 Silver Member Posts: 51
    @CartB4Horse: Thanks, man.  I'm beginning to understand what "focussing on me" means; one side-effect is that it doesn't put my past self in that great a light, but there's no sense in worrying about that.  As you say, I will keep trying to "Fuck. That. Noise."!
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