Just a quick update that legal proceedings are chugging along. She is still acting more and more crazy and has told several people that she wants me out of the house and plans to take everything we own as hers and leave me with nothing. Nobody can understand why she is so vindictive, there is no cause for her to behave this way (infidelity, abuse, etc) even some of her close friends have started to distance themselves from her citing that she is highly irrational.
I have a lawyer who is advising me to stay put for now. We're trying to get this divorce done with as quickly as possible but she is not making it easy at all. For a woman who hates me so much she sure is not in a hurry to get divorced.
The situation you are in is called hostile dependency. Essentially it means your wife is dependent upon you because she cannot function on her own, so she resents being obligated to you. She understands you don't have a relationship of equals. She is acting out because she is scared of being abandoned (in her mind), scared of having to actually grow up and be an adult. Expect it to get a lot worse.
Enneagram type 9w1
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Rorschach"Just ask the axis ..."Silver MemberPosts: 1,458
Peace
7
HildaCornersWinter? You call *that* winter?Gold WomenPosts: 3,377
I trust you have everything in place for any emergency that might arise.
I hope none does ... if I prayed, I'd pray for you and especially, your kids, to get through this safely and with as little emotional stress as possible.
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
The situation you are in is called hostile dependency. Essentially it means your wife is dependent upon you because she cannot function on her own, so she resents being obligated to you. She understands you don't have a relationship of equals. She is acting out because she is scared of being abandoned (in her mind), scared of having to actually grow up and be an adult. Expect it to get a lot worse.
Thank you SO much for this insight. It lead me to the following link and describes my wife's current attitude to a tee...
The situation you are in is called hostile dependency. Essentially it means your wife is dependent upon you because she cannot function on her own, so she resents being obligated to you. She understands you don't have a relationship of equals. She is acting out because she is scared of being abandoned (in her mind), scared of having to actually grow up and be an adult. Expect it to get a lot worse.
Interesting concept thank you for that insight. She is amping things up again by threatening forcefully removing me by January. Apparently she is going to have her attorney file something to have me kicked out of my own house! Lol, this shit is just getting more and more crazy.
Oh and I have two fillings that fell out which are making it hard to eat from the pain. (Waiting in insurance approval for the root canal and crowns) plus I got some more work done on this tattoo sleeve in an area that was incredibly painful. It has been a week of pain, someone wants me to suffer so I can learn and grow.
I choose to view Mrs Love as a being that is suffering and reflecting her feelings about herself onto me. This brings me inner peace at times. The alternative of hating her for doing the things she does will only prevent me from growing so I chose the former.
I certainly hope you have a VAR on you at all times. In the event of a false DV claim, you could end up getting hauled away even though you're innocent.
3
CrashaxePartytown, which is wherever I am.Gold Men Posts: 1,243
I choose to view Mrs Love as a being that is suffering and reflecting her feelings about herself onto me. This brings me inner peace at times. The alternative of hating her for doing the things she does will only prevent me from growing so I chose the former.
This is a really great attitude to have in a lot of ways, but not so much when you're engaging in Warfare, which you are.
The best defense is a good offense and all that...
Bold font above is unintentional.
“I’m going to plead with you, do not cross us. Because if you do, the survivors will write about what we do here for 10,000 years.” General James Mattis, USMC
The situation you are in is called hostile dependency. Essentially it means your wife is dependent upon you because she cannot function on her own, so she resents being obligated to you. She understands you don't have a relationship of equals. She is acting out because she is scared of being abandoned (in her mind), scared of having to actually grow up and be an adult. Expect it to get a lot worse.
Thank you SO much for this insight. It lead me to the following link and describes my wife's current attitude to a tee...
Holy moly.... I just read this twice. (Shudder) (shudder) creepy how exactly right this feels. Wow @JellyBean how spot on you were indeed.
@Crashaxe I get what you are saying I'll draw upon my martial arts experience here. Hate and anger does not lead to victory in battle, in fact you can be blinded by these feelings and make mistakes when fighting your opponent. The best approach in my opinion is calm confidence in oneself and the ability to adapt to any potential situation. After all the best laid plan is only good till the first encounter.
The situation you are in is called hostile dependency. Essentially it means your wife is dependent upon you because she cannot function on her own, so she resents being obligated to you. She understands you don't have a relationship of equals. She is acting out because she is scared of being abandoned (in her mind), scared of having to actually grow up and be an adult. Expect it to get a lot worse.
Thank you SO much for this insight. It lead me to the following link and describes my wife's current attitude to a tee...
Holy moly.... I just read this twice. (Shudder) (shudder) creepy how exactly right this feels. Wow @JellyBean how spot on you were indeed.
@Crashaxe I get what you are saying I'll draw upon my martial arts experience here. Hate and anger does not lead to victory in battle, in fact you can be blinded by these feelings and make mistakes when fighting your opponent. The best approach in my opinion is calm confidence in oneself and the ability to adapt to any potential situation. After all the best laid plan is only good till the first encounter.
This is good..However, I don't speak for Crash, But It appears to me. You are Not Expecting an encounter, and , therefore you could be ill prepared for one. There is a saying among special warfare folk that may aid you.....
Prepare for the unthinkable as though it were inevitable
Comments
Into Phase 3..
Those Who Dare......Win. "What gives you fear today...Gives you Strength tomorrow.."I have a lawyer who is advising me to stay put for now. We're trying to get this divorce done with as quickly as possible but she is not making it easy at all. For a woman who hates me so much she sure is not in a hurry to get divorced.
I hope none does ... if I prayed, I'd pray for you and especially, your kids, to get through this safely and with as little emotional stress as possible.
Enneagram 5w4. I'm researching what that means, before designing t-shirt art about it.
"I feel no shame in making lavish use of the strongest muscles, namely male ones (but my own strongest muscle is dedicated to the service of men - noblesse oblige). I don't begrudge men one whit of their natural advantages as long as they respect mine. I am not an unhappy pseudomale; I am female and like it that way." RAH
http://shrink4men.com/2011/06/07/hostile-dependency-is-your-wife-girlfriend-or-ex-a-child-masquerading-in-the-body-of-a-woman/
Quite the eye opener, but it explains SO much.
Oh and I have two fillings that fell out which are making it hard to eat from the pain. (Waiting in insurance approval for the root canal and crowns) plus I got some more work done on this tattoo sleeve in an area that was incredibly painful. It has been a week of pain, someone wants me to suffer so I can learn and grow.
I choose to view Mrs Love as a being that is suffering and reflecting her feelings about herself onto me. This brings me inner peace at times. The alternative of hating her for doing the things she does will only prevent me from growing so I chose the former.
This is a really great attitude to have in a lot of ways, but not so much when you're engaging in Warfare, which you are.
The best defense is a good offense and all that...
Bold font above is unintentional.
“I’m going to plead with you, do not cross us. Because if you do, the survivors will write about what we do here for 10,000 years.” General James Mattis, USMC
@Crashaxe I get what you are saying I'll draw upon my martial arts experience here. Hate and anger does not lead to victory in battle, in fact you can be blinded by these feelings and make mistakes when fighting your opponent. The best approach in my opinion is calm confidence in oneself and the ability to adapt to any potential situation. After all the best laid plan is only good till the first encounter.
There is a saying among special warfare folk that may aid you.....
Prepare for the unthinkable as though it were inevitable
Fate favors the prepared.
For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
-Sun Tzu
And how does Sun Tzu subdue without fighting? Reread Crash and Saigo's comments.
You've absolutely got this Doc.
How will you live well today?
How goes it? Did you hear about the forum shutting down?