The Refugee Camp

Husband3point0

That's why you might want to brand it more along the 'accountability corner' line imho. 

Make it more along the lines of friends holding each other accountable for their own goals. Steer clear of the 'advice' angles. 

Just my $0.03, adjusted for inflation...

SignorePillolaRossa

imo, one of the long range goals for the new forum should be to allow new members ... i understand why it is to be exclusively a closed group at inception ... but closed communities get stale ... new blood will refresh it and expose new nuances regarding the application of athol's way ... something to keep in mind moving forward

Purple

I already have 2 gmail accounts - one is my full name, the other has a G+ account linked to it. Not super keen on making a third account... 

So... nobody creep on me, alright?

HildaCorners

SignorePillolaRossa said:

imo, one of the long range goals for the new forum should be to allow new members ... i understand why it is to be exclusively a closed group at inception ... but closed communities get stale ... new blood will refresh it and expose new nuances regarding the application of athol's way ... something to keep in mind moving forward

The new group, in whatever form it takes, will be a democratic dictatorship ... everyone has a voice, but the owners/administrators/moderators (whoever they end up being, and I don't want it to be only me) will have the final say.

In other words: the Captain decides, the first officers bring their expert opinions, which will be taken very seriously.

nubby

@HildaCorners I wasn't suggesting cloning this site. More or less as an option of familiarity for members moving to the refcamp. But alas, I'm no techie. 

SallyMander

Purple said:

I already have 2 gmail accounts - one is my full name, the other has a G+ account linked to it. Not super keen on making a third account... 

So... nobody creep on me, alright?

You can create a 3rd acct and use it just for the email address -- you can forward any emails from it to one of your "real" accts.

That's what I did with my iconicavera @ gmail acct that I use for here/the waystation (you just have to remember not to reply to emails from your real acct...which I have done).

42andatowel

If you create a separate account, it can be a pain to sign out of your main google account to sign into the 2nd (or 3rd, 4th, etc).  But if you use google chrome, you can actually setup the 2nd account as a completely separate identity in chrome, then you can click your name in the top right corner of chrome and switch to the other account, which will leave your main identity logged in and open a new window with the new identity logged in.  

The only caveat is chrome will default to whichever accounts windows was closed last, so make sure you close the secondary accounts chrome window before closing the primary accounts chrome window.

Jen_Kay

nubby said:

@HildaCorners have you checked into vanilla forums? It could be an easy way to do it. 

Only if you want to commit $299 per month for their basic package.

Littlejoe

Yeah, yahoo email did not work.  I resent request email to you from my gmail account...(don't know why I didn't think of that before).  Thanks!

Husband3point0

Jen_Kay said:

nubby said:

@HildaCorners have you checked into vanilla forums? It could be an easy way to do it. 

Only if you want to commit $299 per month for their basic package.

Holy cow!  That's almost as much as Josh Duggar's prostitute habit. 

[Let's go out in a blaze of glory. Who's with me?]

HowlAtTheMoon

Are you people saying you don't have multiple browsers installed so that you can have all eight of your gmail addies logged in at once? Just me??

amblrgirl

I use chrome. I open my regular gmail account in a normal tab (it's always logged in). I use an incognito tab to open my forum gmail account. I do have to log into that one each time, but I never have to worry about crossing my accounts that way.

amblrgirl

SignorePillolaRossa said:

imo, one of the long range goals for the new forum should be to allow new members ... i understand why it is to be exclusively a closed group at inception ... but closed communities get stale ... new blood will refresh it and expose new nuances regarding the application of athol's way ... something to keep in mind moving forward

Coming back to this, can we offer to take emails from those newcomers here who want to give them, so that we can email them when we are set up for new members? I've felt really bad for the ones who are just getting started and could use the support and encouragement of more experienced members. 

And I completely agree with SPR that things will get stale (and the echo chamber effect be more likely) if we don't make room for newbies at some point.

ETA: @HildaCorners - I know you're probably inundated with emails from current members right now. If you would prefer to have new members send their emails elsewhere, they can use my email (in my sig) and I'll just maintain the list (won't email them anything) until you're ready to notify them if/when we're set up to take on new members.

Athol_Kay

Just in case there's any confusion, my work isn't some kind of abandoned intellectual property I could allow anyone to build an actively growing website around.

I have absolutely no problem with people staying in contact / having a private group / et al, but planning a new forum based on me / my work / "The MAP" / et al, would be something I'd have to actively oppose to protect my work from being used by all other 3rd parties.

I suspect that you all underestimate the level of effort that goes into running and growing a forum. The first two years of the forum were pretty much a 50+ hour a week gig for me. Trying to create a critical mass of people is a stunningly difficult proposition and frankly I don't know if I could have really achieved it fully even if I remained healthy. In terms of time invested to dollar return, the forum has been... well... heartbreaking.

If you're looking for a current active forum, I'd generally recommend www.talkaboutmarriage.com which is where I originally started commenting on forums myself in 2009. They are somewhat generally MMSL aware and friendly there already.

SallyMander

HowlAtTheMoon said:

Are you people saying you don't have multiple browsers installed so that you can have all eight of your gmail addies logged in at once? Just me??

Incognito windows FTW!

And re: stale content, IMO, that will be the time to move on for real.

amblrgirl

@Athol_Kay - Sorry, didn't mean to step on any toes. I wasn't thinking about it like that, and I definitely don't want to be disrespectful of your work or use it inappropriately. All your points make a lot of sense. I was feeling badly for the newcomers because I know what a huge help this place has been for me. But it sounds like TAM would make a good place for them to land. I'm not familiar with that forum, but it sounds like they are RP and Athol Kay friendly, which is awesome. Glad to know there's something out there for those just getting started.

Newcomers - please don't email me, but I wish you all the best!

nubby

Has anyone here been on TAM lately? I wouldn't say they are too mmsl friendly over there.
Lately it seems you could go on there and say your wife was 5 minutes late getting home from work. Within 20 minutes you'll be told to get a VAR, gps her car and file for divorce. 
it seems the title of the forum has outlived its intent. 
I've deleted it from my list of places to read. 

42andatowel

Athol_Kay said:

Just in case there's any confusion, my work isn't some kind of abandoned intellectual property I could allow anyone to build an actively growing website around.

I have absolutely no problem with people staying in contact / having a private group / et al, but planning a new forum based on me / my work / "The MAP" / et al, would be something I'd have to actively oppose to protect my work from being used by all other 3rd parties.

I suspect that you all underestimate the level of effort that goes into running and growing a forum. The first two years of the forum were pretty much a 50+ hour a week gig for me. Trying to create a critical mass of people is a stunningly difficult proposition and frankly I don't know if I could have really achieved it fully even if I remained healthy. In terms of time invested to dollar return, the forum has been... well... heartbreaking.

If you're looking for a current active forum, I'd generally recommend www.talkaboutmarriage.com which is where I originally started commenting on forums myself in 2009. They are somewhat generally MMSL aware and friendly there already.

@Athol_Kay I understand the intellectual property concerns completely.  Given what the majority of interested parties appear to be interested in, would you oppose a private, members only, no public posts, forum for us to stay in contact and continue to develop our MAPs? 

Or do we need to be even less formal than that?

HildaCorners

I'll keep repeating myself again*

My idea was to have a gathering spot for active MAPpers to have accountability partners. NOT to replace the current MMSL forum with an equivalent.

No new members, no lurkers, no active coaching, only peer suggestions/opinions. Lots of references to Athol's work, paid and free.

I also have no desire to be forum queen ... I don't have the time or interest.

I figure with a closed group of people who were active here and follow the same rules, active moderation will be minimal. If I'm wrong, I'll either get help or fold. If the group wants to expand, we'll hold that conversation later.


* a message from the department of the bureau of redundancy

Alphaman

Does an absence of a reply to requesting to be included in the new group mean a rejection? I haven't been too much of a regular but i have been around for over a year - and I am really at a point of needing the experience of the senior members.