Thank you all so much and an introduction.

Snowman

Hello everyone,

I have been lurking and reading on this forum for over three years. I emailed Athol just like in the Primer asking for help and he did help me by getting me the MMSL Primer. I have since got the MAP book and am slowly working through that. So first I want to say Thank You, Thank You, Thank You to Athol for the help you have given me. I used to be nothing but Beta and am slowly working into the more Alpha role.

Over the last few years I have read so many MAPs, Married life and 911's I can't believe how much I have learned. I really had a hard time swallowing the red pill in the beginning because when I look around online I see a lot of men just gaming women into bed. To me it's the wrong motivation and I really had to take what I could learn for me not gaming my wife or women but to be a better man for me.

I am so not perfect when it comes to the Primer. I find myself doing good in some areas and poor in others then life sweeps over me and I end up a few steps back. 

My wife and I are both 44 and we love each other dearly. Three great kids and we will find ourselves without kids in the next 4-5 years. My strong points are I make good money in a white collar job (6 figures), we have a nice home and can provide well, I am outgoing and can walk up to anybody and start a conversation, I have a zest for life and I am super inquisitive (I like to lean about anything). My weak points are I let the house and garage get cluttered, I have too many hobbies and projects and have a difficult time getting them done, I need to lift weights. For the most part I really don't have any real good friends just acquaintances and I have had a difficult time finding that one or two good friend(s) that I can share everything with. I also rarely get out to do stuff for me.

My wife is a stay at home mom. She homeschooled our kids up until this year now she is working on herself health wise. I do think she is suffering from a mild depression and a few other things. She want to get back into the job market doing something, she wants to feel like she is contributing. She is shy and doesn't like social gatherings unless she is next to me and then can't handle them very long. She is also not adventuresome I have to lead if I want to go somewhere. 

 It is the sex life that started my search for improvement and that I had a problem with and still do to some extent. I now realize that it is usually me and not her. Recently my wife has had some medical problems that makes it painful but not in her lady bits more all over pain. I have also realized my wife had very very little sex drive. I love to go down on her and for the last few years it's only be a once or twice a year but when we are done it's almost always the same "I need that more". She just doesn't make it a priority. Now she is perimenopausal and getting out of the hormone swings. I'm hoping things will change once we get the pain worked out (she has been really irregular for the last two years).

I really didn't want to post this way. I have been lurking in the shadows and reading for so long you all feel like family. I didn't post because basically, I didn't want my wife to find out. I have recently gotten to the point where I was getting ready to post and then I saw the nail in the coffin and had to introduce myself. 

I plan on getting the video series this weekend.

As for all of you who post on the forums. Thank you for taking the time to write on this forum I have learned so much. A couple that I have been reading lately are Cowboy (for well over a year now) and Beans. You two have had it rough the way life hit you hard, you have my heart felt sympathy and I hope all works out well. I just wish I could find out how it all ends. 

I would love to discuss more for the next 5 days if you all are up for it. I can do a MAP if needed or wanted.