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Is it worth it? too me it seems absurd...

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  • KathrynthegreatKathrynthegreat TeamAmazonWarriorPrincessMember Posts: 3,770
    edited November 2012
    thechief said:
    I laugh at all the woman in here supporting the idea though. Im sure you guys think its a great idea. 



    No wedding cake for me, thanks. Not so sure I get the point either.  

    Funny story:  my brother recently married the mother of his 1 year old child.  When it came time for the bride to toss her bouquet, all the single women gathered together. . . and the only one who went for it was my 14-year old niece.  All the rest of us women look at each other and took a big step back.  
    PhoenixDownshibariAngeline
  • LouiseLouise EnglandSilver Member Posts: 1,622
    thechief said:
    Athena said:
    A couple of y'all need to go reread Athol's blog post from yesterday. This forum may not be your wife you're whining to, but it's still a DLV.
    This is exactly what im talking about. If i end up with a woman who talks like this. Your hampster is spinning like mad at the prospect of a man not wanting to get married. This post offered nothing to the discussion at all. 

    Reading these posts confirms just what is thought. Alot of ummm and ahhing, of course you dont want to say it was a bad idea. But everyone here is just having to work incredibly hard to get sex off their wife, whilst she is doing nothing. The game is stacked against Men irreversibly, the benefits of marriage for a men have been stripped away completely while all the benefits have shifted squarely into the Woman's favour.

    I laugh at all the woman in here supporting the idea though. Im sure you guys think its a great idea. 




    Not all men have to work incredibly hard to get sex from their wives. I'm quite happy to have sex with my uusband whenever he wants. Mind you, I think you're right about marriage. It's a mug's game. Why marry someone who's going to despise you for getting older? Talk about how much more attractive all the very young girls are he could be shagging if he wasn't with you? I certainly wouldn't get married again if I woke up tomorrow and found I was a 17 year old virgin again. I wouldn't touch any man with a bargepole. So basically, I think you're right.
  • PrezPrez Member Posts: 471
    thechief said:
    I am a 27 year old guy who has been in a long term relationship for 3 years. I came across this site through other game related readings and this whole forum makes me kind of sad (bear with me, no offense).

    This forum is a bunch of men, who are trying to get sex from their wife. THEIR WIFE. Playing this whole game of being alpha and this long list of stuff you have to do to get laid from the woman you have chosen (as well as her choosing you) to spend your life with seems fcken ridiculous. She holds the keys to not only your happiness but too your wallet. If she at any moment chooses too, for any reason whatsoever she can take more then half your stuff, your kids even put you in jail with a few spicy lies added to the mix.

    My question too you guys is, is it worth it? why bother to jump through hoops for sex from my ageing wife? Her SMV is decreasing whilst mine will only rise. i figure the smart bet is avoiding this situation all together, focus on myself (earning potential, fitness, languages, reading etc). Interested to hear your thoughts.
    In Finance, a typical theoretical approach is to maximize profits.  This can lead to some unhappy decisions if, in real life, you care about other issues, like having a decent clean environment, a nice work environment, etc.  It seems like you are operating from the perspective of maximizing sex.  Putting all ethical and moral implications aside, from a purely selfish point of view, Isn't there some value in actually having a relationship with one human being for a long time, having children, etc?  We aren't immortal sex machines that can go on having sex like we are 25 forever.  Believe it or not, the body slowly slows down producing those nice sex hormones, and they can't have sex like they used to.  It's good to have some other things in life besides just sex like real relationships with other people. 

    I do agree it is sad when men have to jump through hoops to have sex with their own wife.  But again, ethics and morals aside, how much work do you have to put in hitting on girls at bars to get laid every night?  How do you calculate your pleasure versus the risk of infection, the stress of finding out you got some girl pregnant, the guilt of not knowing how many sons and daughters you have out there living on welfare that you didn't get to raise, and all those other things you might think about from bar hopping every night? 

    If you did want to have sex night after night with different women without it going so far as to be a 'relationship', how much effort would you have to put in?  I can have sex multiple nights in a row with my wife on a good week.  There were weeks early on where we had sex night after night weeks in a row.  Is it realistic to have sex every night of the week with girls from bars?  What are the odds on getting an STD-- maybe not AIDS or something life threatening--including critters and bumps on parts not covered by condoms.  And having sex with a condom on doesn't feel like sex.  It's some kind of sick joke that they pass that off as sex.  I'm married, and I can have sex without condoms. 

    If you are afraid of women committing marital fraud by skipping out on you and taking your fortune after so many years, what about the risk of some girl from a bar getting buyer's remorse and accusing you of rape.  I suppose married women could falsely accuse men, but it seems married men are much less vulnerable than men picking up girls at bars.  At least you can get to know the woman you marry.  If you have a one night stand, how do you know the girl isn't an absolute psycho?  What if she's a little drunk, you have sex, and she accuses you of rape and is persuasive enough to convince a jury, or just enough to ruin your reputation in the town where you live? 

    There have got to be times PUAs strike out and go home without sex.  There have also got to be times where the guy takes the girl home or goes to her place, and it doesn't turn into sex.  I just don't see how that matches up with a 'sexually reliable' wife.  A man's income tends to go up over time.  I wouldn't count on that in this economy.  But looks wise, his value does decline over time.  There are girls who go for the father figure, but they seem to be a minority.  From a selfish point of view again-- getting married to a woman who either loves sex or values duty sex, who is anti-divorce-- is good 'sex insurance' for a man. 

    I don't have to go out, do some kind of magic trick or psychological game (necessarily) to convince her to sleep with me.  If she does something to me, she knows just how to do it.  I don't have to worry about a husband coming home or anything like that.  You may fear divorce, but I don't have to fear about my wife running off with my wallet in the middle of the night. 

    And, I get to have sex with someone I actually genuinely care about.  Marrying a woman with good, solid, anti-divorce values can help reduce the chances of divorce, anyway.  Marrying a woman who believes her husband has rights to her body after marriage and considers duty sex an important duty is another thing that can help. 

    If you look at the divorce rate, it's bad out there, and the manosphere can make it seem worse, hopeless even.  If half of marriages end in divorce, though, the other half doesn't.  I don't remember what the stats are, but there are lots of couples who stay together until someone dies. 
    roeLinanati
  • thisisjenthisisjen Silver Member Posts: 1,164
    It's all about making a good choice.

     

  • DreadpiratkevinDreadpiratkevin Silver Member Posts: 154
    thechief said:

    The charade is simply not worth it. Would rather not jump through the hoops for the hampster to be happy. I can trick a hampster in 4 hours over a date or at a bar. Doing it 7 a days a week seems like a waste.

    I've seen this idea around a few times here and it's incorrect.  I can see why it may seem that way from the outside, but it's not how things work.  Working the MAP, being the captain isn't about faking anything, it's about changing who you are, or at least developing those characteristics in yourself that will make you attractive and training out of yourself those character traits that make you unattractive. 

     It isn't about fooling your wife ( or any other woman, attraction works the same way in or out of marriage) into thinking you're Alpha, it's about actually being alpha.  We all have alpha and beta traits naturally.  Working the MAP just brings out the good and suppresses the bad character traits, it doesn't mean pretending to be someone else.  Like any other change in your self, it's a lot of work at first, but gets easier as you go until it's just part of you and you don't think about it anymore.  Pretty much like getting in shape.  it's a lot of hard work at first, but once you're there, you're there.  You're not a fat person pretending to be in shape, you are a fit person. 

    Most of the guys here are just starting out on the MAP, and it is pretty hard at that stage, but trust me, after a decade or two of having a great sex life, you really aren't thinking about gaming your wife, you're  that guy now who is the captain.  Oh, a little tune up now and then, some self-examination can help to keep you on course but for the most part the work and effort is all front loaded and once you're there, you're there.   Of course if you start out in marriage doing the right things, it's even easier. 

    And there's no P in hamster.  


    A ship in harbour is safe, but that's not what a ship is for! 
    AngelinethechiefSerenity
  • horsemanhorseman Member Posts: 1,194
    Have you noticed I have been trying very hard lately to edit my thumbs. Just hard as once I type I can't see it on this screen. But I do use capitalization for Emphasis.
    Angeline
  • DancenyDanceny Ft. Collins, COSilver Member Posts: 998
    edited November 2012
    webmistress32 said:
    you gotta give me a chance to proof read, lightening man. :\">
    Proofread. (And "lightning," while we're at it.)

    AngelineSerenityCaptain_Hammer
  • LinanatiLinanati Member Posts: 1,553
    thechief said:
    Athena said:
    A couple of y'all need to go reread Athol's blog post from yesterday. This forum may not be your wife you're whining to, but it's still a DLV.
    This is exactly what im talking about. If i end up with a woman who talks like this. Your hampster is spinning like mad at the prospect of a man not wanting to get married. This post offered nothing to the discussion at all. 

    Reading these posts confirms just what is thought. Alot of ummm and ahhing, of course you dont want to say it was a bad idea. But everyone here is just having to work incredibly hard to get sex off their wife, whilst she is doing nothing. The game is stacked against Men irreversibly, the benefits of marriage for a men have been stripped away completely while all the benefits have shifted squarely into the Woman's favour.

    I laugh at all the woman in here supporting the idea though. Im sure you guys think its a great idea. 


    You don't appear to have noticed, but there are women on the forum who are working incredibly hard to get sex from their husbands.
    PhoenixDown[Deleted User]Dido
  • LinanatiLinanati Member Posts: 1,553

    Also, I think that for you, @thechief, marriage is a very bad idea.  Don't do it.

    For my husband, marriage was a very good idea.  We've both been willing to work through problems, and we both appreciate the importance of sex in a marriage.  He has leaned on me when he needed to, as I have leaned on him.  We're both here to raise our children, who are an incredible joy to us.  Marriage has worked out well for us.

  • BenBen Silver Member Posts: 3,651
    I've been in a committed monogamous live-in relationship-- for all intents and purposes, a marriage with less paperwork-- with one woman since I was 21 years old.  Essentially my entire adult life.  To make a fair judgment on whether it was worth it, I'd have to have some significant experience with the alternative.

    I'm single now.  Give me a year and I'll get back to you.

    ---

    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
  • LinanatiLinanati Member Posts: 1,553
    edited November 2012

    @thechief ; I suppose I should elaborate on why I don't think you should get married.  (I didn't have time when I commented before, as I was in the middle of baking and laundry.)

    There are two reasons for this opinion. 

    1) You seem to think a woman should be there for you and should want to have sex with you without you having to work on yourself and the relationship.  Marriage doesn't work like that.  To have a good marriage, both people have to work on it and on themselves. 

    2) You seem to have an excessively negative view of women, ALL women, apparently based on your girlfriend not being as supportive as you would like and temporarily not being as sexually available as you would like.  You are unlikely to be able to attract a quality woman with that kind of negativity.  If you do somehow manage to get a good woman, you will probably push her away by focusing on her flaws (which we all, both men and women, have), while either not noticing or underrating her good qualities.

    You need to run the MAP.  After you've made yourself the best version of you that you can be, and seen how women respond to that, then you should decide what kind of relationship(s) you would like to have with women.  I would also recommend you read both No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover and Married Man Sex Life Primer.

    Edit to add: Food for thought, http://www.drglover.com/blog/x_post/negativity-toward-women-00007.html, posted by @Joskin_Nodd on another thread.  Seemed applicable here.

    JAK
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