Singing in church

alcockell

@natalie_lorin, you'll like the Crappy Choruses and Horrible Hymns threads over on shipoffools.com; we regularly rip into some of the woeful stuff that's been released.  And yes, the "I want to have sex with Jesus" ones to come in for quite a bit of ribaldry.

It's why some of us blokes do tech or play...

Clovitas

I think if a guy feels he's not a good singer he won't sing. My husband doesn't sing at church because he just doesn't think he's a good singer. Heck, I don't think I've EVER heard him sing unless it's a grunting Metallica song! I think it's neither alpha nor beta, bust whether they think they sound somewhat descent and not feel like idiots doing it. 

WildMan

I used to go to church at Hillsong London when Jonas Myrin was leading worship. He was a bit metro and Swedish, but he looked like he sang (according to the female portion of the congregation, who hooped and hollered every time he sang a solo).

In my early days as a Christian I sang in the choir, where few men dared tread. Then I sang at the fundamentalist church where I met my wife. I can carry a tune and play a few instruments, but as I got older, I stopped doing them. But it wasn't because I felt like a wimp, I just had other things begin to consume my life in such a way that it made no sense to continue pursuing them.

But there's a reason women flock to rock concerts dressed to kill.

Templar

It works for me - sing in the choir and am also the lead cantor for a 2000 family parish. There certainly are many smiles directed towards me when there are actually good songs being done.

RPG46

Just found this thread.

Singing in church is not alpha or beta. Biblically it is written that when people gather in the Name of God that He will be in their midst. Worship isn't about you, it's about God. He is the audience. We sing to Him. You cannot be alpha where God is concerned. He does not need us, we need Him, and showing that through worship and singing is respectful and shows gratitude. 

I used to not sing because I didn't like the song or felt self conscious. No more. Leading my family in faith is my responsibility even more than in other areas, so I need to set a Godly example whether I like the song or not, or whatever my feelings are its a way to humble yourself before the Lord, and you should do it. 

Now if wives find that to be alpha, that's their reaction to leadership, which Athol said is basically something we should be doing anyway.

Mr_Sharp

 Good summary @RPG46. I'd add that at least in the Christian tradition certain alpha roles such as leading the family in worship should be embraced by men as they are pleasing to God because it reflects us embracing how he made us. And of course women would find it fulfilling to respond to that behavior as complementing their natures, unless they had some block to recognizing that.

 In the Catholic church hymns are (supposed to be) prayers and not performances. That's why we don't (are not supposed to) applaud the cantors and we're all expected to participate. Traditional chant was done by men. In many parishes men still play an active role in leading hymns. Only in modern times have some men behaved as "too cool" for song in prayer. It's IMHO just one of many ways in which we've abdicated our masculine responsibilities in our prayer life. But YMMV since different worship practices may have different takes on that. I do not listen to Christian music on the radio for example because I find it unecessarily saccharine and not reflecting a proper tone of worship that resonates with me.

Mongrel

I'm not religious but my W is. I can relate from observation of her and her mother that church singing is attractive. Not sure I'd go so far as to call it 'alpha' but if you are belting it out with confidence (and sound reasonably good) it will generate the tingles.

Zoroaster

Competence is attractive. Being seen doing something well, especially something seen as difficult, is a DHV.