That sweet moment when you know it's working

fredless

When my wife asks me my Murph time because she's texting it to one of her friends.

fordsvt

She was standing at the sink and gave me a playful trip when I walked by. I stopped and put my hands in the back pockets of her jeans and kissed her neck a few times. Told her she was looking good. Then walked away. 

BourneAgain

When your wife calls you "Boss" for the first time in over 22 years of knowing each other.

When she texts "I Love You" for the first time ever.

When she calls you "Lovely Man" 4 times in 2 days.

When she is the most appreciative she has ever been - continuous thank yous, hugs, "I appreciate all the help with XYZ" - especially for all the (previously unnoticed?) things I do around the house.

When she keeps putting her head on my shoulder and putting her hands on my chest.

Well OK, I have been kind of awesome this week!  

Thank you @AtholKay. I have improved my marriage more in the last 6 months of MAPping than in the previous 12 years of "reading about the red pill".

Serenity

When I wear a bikini in the back yard to get some sun and my husband brings me into the bedroom to fool around in the middle of the afternoon.

This is the guy who, two years ago, fell asleep during foreplay, and didn't even want to kiss during the middle of the day because the kids were around. 

Thank you, MMSL.

billsfan99

My wife, who two days ago, told me i needed to respect the "special area" because they are hers and it is disrespectful stuffed my hand in her shirt yesterday afternoon.  I told her to unbutton her bra, which she did.  I took her into the bedroom for one of the best hj I have ever gotten (shark week).  I love MMSL and NMMNG.  Thanks @Athol_Kay‌ ;

Nomad

Serenity said:

When I wear a bikini in the back yard to get some sun and my husband brings me into the bedroom to fool around in the middle of the afternoon.

This is the guy who, two years ago, fell asleep during foreplay, and didn't even want to kiss during the middle of the day because the kids were around. 

Thank you, MMSL.

Serenity -- is there someplace (be it here in a Forum thread or on your blog) that chronicles your "journey" over the past few years? How did you two get from "before" to "after"? How did he go from low-T schlub to a guy you were insanely attracted to? How did you go from frustrated wife to Forum moderator? I know the obvious, generic answer (i.e. MAPping), but how did it play out for you (two), specifically?

LordVader

Last night - stepdaughter is at a Journey concert with her dad, stepson at his girlfriend's for her 18th birthday. After a nice dinner (grilled ribs, corn on the cob that was FAR better than it should be this early in the season, and not nearly enough wine to be a factor), wife and I were cleaning up the wreckage. Just as we finished, she turned to me and said, "Want to take advantage of the kids not being here?" !!! She hasn't initiated in well over a YEAR. 

Needless to say, I wrapped her up in my arms for a thorough kiss, after which we headed upstairs. I needed a quick shower, being covered in dust from the day's costume building efforts - fastest shower you ever saw. Came out to her lying in bed in that little silver negligee I love so much, a saucy grin, and nothing else, and we wore each other out for about 2 hours. Only one orgasm for me (sadly, with my various issues, I'm typically one-and-done these days; getting and staying hard enough for a second round is tough, and I'm still too much in my own head. Still might have gotten a second after the BJ, if a position shift hadn't thrown both my hamstrings into spasms right then), but literally dozens for her, and she tried hard to get me up again, including going down on me which... It's been at least 2 years. Won't be anywhere NEAR that long till the next, based on my intention and her response to my expressions of pleasure during and after. The way she'll talk dirty to me during sex, and be a lot freer with innuendo - and touch - outside of it; the openly expressed desire, the happiness and ready physical response to my initiations.

Somewhere in the middle of it, she laid in my arms holding me with arms and legs as tight as she could, and just melted into me when I whispered to her, "That's my girl." A year ago, if I'd told her "That's my girl," she'd have been mortally offended. And instead she melted on top of me, then tightened up her arms and legs around me and pushed her hips into mine to try and make me hard. She talked about how greedy she was being, with all the orgasms I was giving her (we weren't counting last night, but we broke her record. Again.) , and only getting me one. And being able to tell her that that was all right? And really MEAN it? The term "glorious" comes to mind. 

It's working. I'm so much better than I used to be. I know I still have a long way to go, and that I still have to watch out for complacency, but I've come so far since last October, and continued to improve after the end of my coaching sessions (thanks yet again, @Athol_Kay!). More importantly, I know not only what I still have to do, but how to do it, as well. 

It's working. 

Serenity

@Nomad  I don't think I have a complete background story out there. Now that I think about it, that's probably something I need to write up at some point.

My husband and I had a lot of different issues. His low T was one, and I thought it was the whole problem, but over time, I realized that it was only a part of it.

I was horrible at setting boundaries with him. I had to Map to get to the point where I could state my expectations and have them stick.

He had huuuuge nice guy issues. Huge. Really repressive childhood, overly invested Mom who was an emotional vampire, distant dad who alternated between bursts of anger and being unavailable -- kind of the archetypal nice guy.

Fixing the low T was actually the simplest of our issues; not the easiest, but the simplest.

The other stuff was more complicated and it literally took us 2 years to fix the way we interacted with each other. The MAP  book was the turning point for me. It was like a huge flash of light that allowed me to see how I was enabling really crappy behavior and displaying low value.

I can't believe how far we've come, quite honestly. It was a rollercoaster for a long time, but we are finally hitting much smoother waters. Things that threw us into Death Spirals before now blow over much quicker. 

When you have as many issues as we did, it's a very long process. That's one thing I emphasize with clients in similar situations; you can't expect instant, or even quick, results when you are trying to change behaviors of a lifetime. But with time and work, you can get there.

Nomad said:

Serenity -- is there someplace (be it here in a Forum thread or on your blog) that chronicles your "journey" over the past few years? How did you two get from "before" to "after"? How did he go from low-T schlub to a guy you were insanely attracted to? How did you go from frustrated wife to Forum moderator? I know the obvious, generic answer (i.e. MAPping), but how did it play out for you (two), specifically?

SaigoTakamori

Yea..smal one but Ever so important.  Dear bride has had a crik in her neck (yes because of that!) (btw, after it happened I apologize..she just smacks my ass) 

Any way , she texts me today.."neck feels better"  and adds an emotcon wink  her sign for Game Freakin On!

 

MAP the FREAK ON PEEPS!

fordsvt

Mrs Ford initiated morning sex last week. Very nice. I'm always up for that. 

Snoopy

My wife has been looking really good lately. It has also been pretty hot around here so she has been showing a lot of skin around the house.  So I have been letting her know how good she looks and what exactly I want to do to her. 

So recently she told that I don't think X (someone we know) would ever talk to his wife like I talk to her. He is so straight laced and boring. Or Y for that matter. And then she lists other friends, relatives co-workers that she thinks are probably in her words boring.

So basically she just called me fun and exciting.

Tennee

Had today off, Kiddo went to school per usual.  I started shamelessly molesting W at every turn this morning.  Pinned her in the kitchen.  Cornered her on the sofa.  Drive-bys were fast and furious.   I was rebuffed at every turn, play slaps, "you're horrible", etc. but it was a no-go.  Told her she was smoking hot, how I want to fuck her, etc.  Total non-starter.  Or so I thought.  I went to my office and began working on some stuff.   About an hour later, a voice from upstairs wafts down the staircase:

W:  Where are you?
Me:  Office
W:  Get up here!   Let's do it!

You know how I feel about not hearing "May I, please, and thank you" in my house.  Her punishment was being pounded into the mattress until she was reduced to a sweaty mass of post-O breathlessness. 

Its working.   Happy Friday y'all...

  

jon

Going in for a kiss....and knowing I won't be pushed away or rejected...

honing

Walking in the front door after work and seeing a trail of rose pedals leading to our bedroom. Now I don't give a shit about flowers but I knew this was a good sign. 
A year ago I would never have even thought this was possible. The advice in the books and on this board is priceless.

Tennee

We were going up a series of stairs recently, and that gorgeous derriere wound up in front of me - so I gave her a nice,  big squeeeeeeeze.  We were in a heavy crowd, but I pulled it off totally undetected by those around us.  W was mad, flashed me an angry glare.  I grinned my cocky grin and simply held frame.  As we turned the platform and went up the next set, I got pushed in front of her.  Not 5 seconds passes and I get a full undercarriage grab that makes me jump.   When I look back, she's grinning like the Cheshire Cat...this from the She of "I hate drive-bys"

seriously

Whenever my wife wakes me up in the morning, not by touching my shoulders, but by stroking my dick.

Hawk

When after a bout of awkward duty sex in the morning, your wife rebounds in the afternoon by busting out the schoolgirl outfit (... and later compliments you on how nice your "traps" (shoulder muscles) looked during the second session).

seriously

For all intents and purposes, the major improvement section of my MAP has been complete for quite some time.  However, she continues to surprise me with things every now and then.

She suggested a "game-plan" on Vday, for the first time ever.

Now today, she has been responding to flirty texts all day.  Typically, texting/sexting is off the table.  She doesn't find getting them, as long as they are too bad, but she NEVER responds.

seriously

When you know that your wife has been awake for at least two hours in the middle of the night with one of the kids, and when she comes to wake you up in the morning, you tell her "I'll give you a pass this morning, I know you were up with kidlet."  

And she responds by grabbing your package and saying "oh well, if YOU are too tired ..... "  

You know it's working.

seriously

When you tell her to text you sexy pics for the 127th time ... of which you have never received a response ... and then they show up ... you know it's working.