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Things are bad, and I need some help. Please.

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  • oldfarmboyoldfarmboy Member Posts: 15
    @DanG:
    She mentioned last night that sometimes she just doesn't want to have to worry about anybody else. Methinks that the routine of husband and kids just seems far too uninteresting for her at this point, and that she is imagining another "life" where fun and excitement minus responsibilities are the norm.
    Templar
  • ScarletScarlet Category Moderator** Posts: 7,542
    Way. To. Go.   :-bd
    Speak your truth. 
  • resistanceisfutileresistanceisfutile Member Posts: 58
    Keep a calm head , there is a major storm blowing your way sooner rather than later. @DanG asked the question too= is her friend divorced/recently separated ?
    Because she is not attracted to you is NOT Always YOUR fault , sometimes they change Too. Map like a Mofo, initiate as much as possible if she still rejects you ? Read this again.
  • oldfarmboyoldfarmboy Member Posts: 15
    @resistanceisfutile @DanG,

    Her friend is a somewhat recent divorcee. I took that into account as well, that she sees her friend in this new "free" life, and she imagines herself in that role. I happen to get along with this particular friend, though, and I know how much she's struggling with the change to single motherhood (5 kids!). I did encourage her to share this with my wife, and she seems quite open to the idea. Get 'em on your side!
  • resistanceisfutileresistanceisfutile Member Posts: 58
    @oldfarmboy Why did her friend split?
    Because she is not attracted to you is NOT Always YOUR fault , sometimes they change Too. Map like a Mofo, initiate as much as possible if she still rejects you ? Read this again.
  • GanymedeGanymede Member Posts: 89

    Ir's amazing what definitively taking charge can do for your relationship.


    Yesterday and today, a completely different woman has emerged. For the first time in a long time, there's talk about what's coming up on the future - vacation plans, what the kids will do over the summer, etc. We slept in the same bed once again. I'm deliberately holding off on initiating sex; we have a quick getaway this weekend to the Twin Cities - 4 star hotel, going to see a little theater, rockclimbing, and a road race. I want to keep her "bottled up" until then...
    Early thoughts are that while I thought I was adding alpha, I wasn't adding enough. Specifically, I wasn't adding enough when it came to challenging her on her shit. I've taken to seeing her as both a partner and as a spoiled teenager. I'll keep letting y'all know how it goes. I expect shit test will be forthcoming.
    This was what I thought as I read through the thread. Some women really don't want to be FO. They want to just be crew. That means you have to step up way further than you might think and set up controls for everything - where she goes, who she goes with, how much she can spend, what she can eat, what she can drink (in the way of alcohol), etc. You're right to expect a big ole shit test, but the more control you put in place, the fewer shit tests you will get.
  • DanGDanG Member Posts: 1,519
    @Oldfarmboy re "Her friend is a somewhat recent divorcee. I took that into account as well, that she sees her friend in this new "free" life, and she imagines herself in that role. I happen to get along with this particular friend, though, and I know how much she's struggling with the change to single motherhood (5 kids!)."

    They BOTH know the "free life" sucks. Don't let either one snow you or your wife. If it comes to it in a discussion don't feel reluctant to note to your wife the "hell of being 'free' in the sexual market place." She DOES know exactly what you mean and are suggesting.

  • ichabodichabod Member Posts: 943
    Has her friend shown ANY attraction to you ever? There could be a dread game play here for you, and a way to drive your girls hamster into overdrive.
    oldfarmboy said:
    @resistanceisfutile @DanG,

    Her friend is a somewhat recent divorcee. I took that into account as well, that she sees her friend in this new "free" life, and she imagines herself in that role. I happen to get along with this particular friend, though, and I know how much she's struggling with the change to single motherhood (5 kids!). I did encourage her to share this with my wife, and she seems quite open to the idea. Get 'em on your side!

    Never listen to what a women says she prefers in men; instead, watch what she does.
  • DanGDanG Member Posts: 1,519
    AND - It is not uncommon for a woman to put the moves on another's woman's man whom "She does not want anyway." - especially if she has been out in the SMP and has discovered how bad it is for women.

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