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A Porn Video... I mean... a Video about Porn
Athol_Kay
My Underground LairPosts: 8,046
One Hour Call 12-Week Guided MAP
"The turnaround is tremendous. And I'm lifting weights, eating better, and tackling projects. I have all this great energy without a vampire sucking my life force. 
He's a lot stronger standing on his own two feet, as well." - Scarlet
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"Ultimately the captain sets the tone of the relationship." -Athol Kay
"A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be." -Albert Einstein
"Momma said that the Forrest part was to remind me that sometimes we all do things that, well, just don't make no sense." -Forrest Gump
One Hour Call 12-Week Guided MAP
"The turnaround is tremendous. And I'm lifting weights, eating better, and tackling projects. I have all this great energy without a vampire sucking my life force.
He's a lot stronger standing on his own two feet, as well." - Scarlet
I've seen a TEDtalk that suggests exactly that and for the reasons you suggest.One Hour Call 12-Week Guided MAP
"The turnaround is tremendous. And I'm lifting weights, eating better, and tackling projects. I have all this great energy without a vampire sucking my life force.
He's a lot stronger standing on his own two feet, as well." - Scarlet
I've been off of porn for 9 months. I was ecstatic and happy the first few months, with good performance. Then came a sort of "meh" period, followed by what I am in now which is near total "sexual anorexia" and (mood wise) "anhedonia". Anhedonia is sort of a nihilistic mood... nothing really seems worth doing. Wife wants sex every 6 - 8 weeks as usual. I'm not even interested in it at all anymore. The only time I get that "tinge" of excitement in my happy place is when I look at a photo of an attractive woman and think of her in a sexual way. Not really fantasizing about sex acts, just looking at her as a sexual being. I get the tinge, so I know there is SOME kind of sexual pilot light still alive down inside me somwhere, but the fire has definately gone out.
Anyways, she's happy I am off porn and so I am, but there is indeed a big HOLE where the addiction once was. Since our sex life is basically caput (ovulation sex every 6 - 8 weeks if that) there was no normal sexuality to replace the porn with.
I still recommend quitting, but it's probably easier when you have some semblance of a sex life to go back to...
I wish I could go back and tell my 18 year old self not to waste his best years in front of a computer. Hopefully the discoveries that are now being made about how it damages you will stop some of today's teenagers from ruining their lives.
My addiction was so bad, and the content so extreme in the end that I don't know whether I'll be able to rewire my brain...but that's no excuse not to try.
I still have a long way to go with the MAP, but this was absolutely the first red I had to clear.
I agree with you, @Northern_Guy, I don't have a sex life with my wife to go back to, but my not compensating for our shitty sex life with porn is fueling my MAP and making me see that the relationship may be unsalvageable, which will lead me outwards and upwards rather than sitting around depressed and playing with myself.
There is no "deleting" the things that we burn in our minds with porn usage. You can overwrite them to some extent. Some get ragged with age. Time sober is required then time in true recovery from the underlying self worth issue/s (can be many) is required for long term success. It is a false intimacy. A hole in our soul that we are trying to fill for the truly addicted.
There is success to be had. It ain't easy. Recovery is not a perfectly smooth road either.
I quit porn 6 months ago and it has helped my attraction to my wife immensely. She did ask me yesterday why I always seem horny towards her and I reminded her that no porn use = more want wifey. She then said "so you want sex more often?" to which I replied "no, I dont want it more often, I EXPECT it more often." Then she had the nerve to invade my space while I was showering during the afternoon and ask me to nail her hard.......the nerve of her........I was just trying to get cleaned up after nailing up trim all morning. Moral of the story is that I realized my porn addiction was hurting our sex life and it had to stop. Quitting was one of the best things I ever did!
"nailing up trim"
That's what he said ...
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
nailed trim in the morning and in the afternoon.......both ways were home improvement projects I suppose. More importantly, I find my wife somewhat frustrated with my expectation for more sex from her since porn is no longer an outlet.......just gotta keep MAPping and see what happens. Poor girl, her husband still is as hot for her at 32 as he was when she was 22........
Men and Porn: An Introduction
Men and Porn: Why Is the Pull of Porn So Strong?
The Possible Pitfalls of Porn
How to Quit Porn
"Do more of what you love."