I notice my GF will call me "sweetie" or "poppet" in one of two situations: when things are good between us, or as part of another minor shit test like a minor inconvenience.
Is this a shit test? And in fact, is the first time a shit test too? I told her to stop calling me these names at one point, and I wonder if that was wrong because I wouldn't want to punish genuine affection, but it feels a little condescending. She even came in and said "can you print those pictures sweetie... (it's a reasonable request because they're on my computer, but I stare) I mean, gorgeous... I mean... oh, what can I call you! *laughs*" or something to that effect. SHe wasn't in trouble, I just didn't want to react to the pet name.
Happy to print the pictures though, as she can't do it and it's for a school thing.
While on the topic of shit tests, here's another:
She says "Okay?" all the time. When I come in the room usually. Sometime twice in the space of two minutes. Feels like a little hoop being thrown down, so I either talk about something else or just turn it straight back at her, and probably answer it for real about one in four times. Is this a shit test? I don't see where this fits into the excellent shit test compendium but by Mystery's old Hoop Theory (which I find much more easier for identifying and dealing with shit tests) it seems to fit. Thoughts?
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I hope pet names aren't a shit test....MrsTim hasn't called me by my actual name in a loooooong time....I'not really understanding how "sweetie" is a bad thing...Haven't heard "poppet" before.
I understand that if you don't like it, and have asked her to stop, she should....but - how long has she beeen using Pet names...vs how long have you given her to "get" this new requirement?
I totally don't understand the "Okay" thing - -could you elaborate?
We drive brand new cars and we light fine cigars,
We shine like small town stars through the best days of our lives,Hold on before you see, that you’re better off without me,
I am in such deep trouble if pet names are a shit test! I hardly ever call Beau by his first name. In fact all told maybe 3 times! In return he hardly ever calls me by my first name either and it sounds odd and harsh when he does.
I take it that you don't call her by any pet names then. Too bad, they can be sort of a bonding thing between you especially if it's something not generic but specific to the 2 of you. ie, Beau is sometimes known as Sgt. Sexy.
Must not sleep... Must warn others...
Mrs Bob used to use one name for me in German that I hated. I made it a rule that every time she used it she then had to say 3 times in German "not name" etc. it was quite a successful playful way to stop her. Now she uses a range of other names that I do like
If quizzes are quizical, what are tests?
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Now I understand the "Okay" thing. That would get old...if they were coming frequently.
@Picard has the best response that i have seen..turn it into something funny...that will probably help take the stress off you as well.
We drive brand new cars and we light fine cigars,
We shine like small town stars through the best days of our lives,Hold on before you see, that you’re better off without me,
You want your wife to be fun and playful with you. If she is playfully calling you pet names or teasing you, then yeah, its a type of fitness test and its one that you want. It just means she wants you to agree and amplify and give her some playful teasing right back.
If I haven't been giving my wife enough attention she will sometimes lightly swat me on the bottom as she walks by or call me some funny nickname. Fitness-test? Well, yeah, sort of, she just is telling me in her own way that she wants some playful dominance from me. She is looking for me to swat her on the ass and play back with her. She is not looking for me to "react" and get annoyed and say "stop that". That would be failing the light fitness test.
Part of being Alpha = Playful dominance. She wants you to play with her.
THAT! I hear so many men reacting to play like it's a major test or some huge disrespect thing and then complain about how their wife doesn't want to have sex. Drives me up the ever loving wall! Sure she probably shouldn't do it when you're in the middle of taxes, but it's honestly just a way to ask for attention and affection (and in an explicitly alpha frame to boot). Of course I'm a goofball and couldn't live with a man who wouldn't play with me. Some girls aren't like this. But some of these guys are walking around with a stick up their arse wondering why their wives aren't all over them. /:)
So, if you genuinely don't like being called 'poppet', you gotta say something. (I see that you did and she is trying to respond).
Point is, it's much easier to see when people are messing with your boundaries, if you have told them where your boundaries are.
For the record - if my wife ever called me 'poppet' she would definitely be teasing me, and I would want to respond in kind, probably by saying something like "Don't you poppet me, you little wench." With a smile, naturally.
(I love the word "wench". She loves it sometimes...)
I have actually told her I don't much like being called 'sweetie' and she has said she'll avoid it. So, if she uses that word now, I know she's definitely teasing me...