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  • cxagentcxagent TexasSilver Member Posts: 147
    edited May 2013
    @BoneDaddyJive - A mountain biking buddy.  Maybe I've got a bit of a different idea about shit tests.  I see them all the time *from* women (almost exclusively) to husbands/boyfriends and even other women.  I almost never see them from men unless they are young (teens and less).

    When you call it a "fitness test" it does imply that they are sizing you up as a potential mate.  But I see "shit tests" as trying to establish a pecking order.  Kind of a test that says "I'm a higher status than you because I pulled this shit on you and you just took it". 

    I have read a thread on here about shit tests where a neighbor was shit testing a guy (dig up her garden while she played tennis).  It is at http://marriedmansexlife.vanillaforums.com/discussion/comment/148221/#Comment_148221

    As far as the housework - I already do the dishes MOST of the time.  She cooks MOST of the time so I think it is a good trade off.  I'm trying for the balance of alpha and beta that AK talks about in the book.

    Thanks to the others for your comments as well.  I recognize the Facebook post wasn't the best move.
  • BoneDaddyJiveBoneDaddyJive Chronically TurgidSilver Member Posts: 1,001
    @cxagent - fitness test and shit test are the same thing.   But in the context of a spousal relationship the dynamic is for the female to test the fitness of the male to be a mate and be strong enough to lead, protect and defend her and her progeny (whether shared or not).

    In the context of a biking group, the stakes are much lower.  How you respond to a random woman's propensity to shit test men in general is only vaguely relevant.   

    I'm actually going to backtrack a bit on my comment about the second item.   You were providing alpha male services to a woman who was not your wife.   It was clearly a DHV to all parties - but in your wife's shoes I could see the possibility of a dread response that could be triggering her "giving up" on her fitness goals.

    I also believe that you shouldn't be rejecting her sexually as you have been.   Part of the bitterness of the red pill is that women are way more sensitive to rejection than men.  I know it seems hard to swallow when the shoe is on the other foot - but women really are delicate flowers when it comes to sexual rejection.  We men are kind of used to it, even though it really hurts.  So your 'tit for tat' policy is probably doing more harm than good.

    I lack the nuanced insight of many of the more frequent posters here - so I will defer to wiser heads as they inevitably pop up.
    All humans. This business of love. You have devoted much literature to it. Why do you build such a mystique around a simple biological function?
    - KELINDA Star Trek TOS, "By any other name"
  • cxagentcxagent TexasSilver Member Posts: 147
    @BoneDaddyJive - Thanks for the comments.  I should have posted earlier - the drought ended a few weeks back when we got some issues worked out.  I just got a package delivered from Better Sex.  I spread it out on the bed so she would see it when she got home (I didn't know if I would be home then).  I was home and we went upstairs and talked about what all was there.  There were several "free gifts" I didn't order that made for some lively conversation. :-)

    BoneDaddyJive
  • cxagentcxagent TexasSilver Member Posts: 147

    So I see the forum is going away soon. I had been thinking about posting some things and closing my account. This looks like that time. I tried to post on the Married Life forum but could not find a way. So here it is in this forum instead since I can add a comment to the existing thread. If this is inappropriate - just delete it. I don't care. I have said my piece and moved on anyway.

    There is one *HUGE* factor, in my humble opinion, a lot of women need to recognize. With age, most couple's positions will reverse. At younger ages, women are hot and sex is great so men will do a lot to keep it going. At some point, the roles will reverse. The sex isn't so great and women withholding sex or using it as a weapon is going to backfire. At some point, women should recognize the roles will reverse and they will get back what they have sown. Withholding or weaponized sex - yep, you get that back too. Now that you have finally grown a libido (or maybe allowed yourself to have a libido), nobody want to have sex with you. That can be quite a shock. I have been getting quite a chuckle out of the threads where women have been surprised when "husband turned down sex".

    And men need to recognize that when roles reverse, they are experiencing what their wives had been experiencing before.

    I could go on and on, but I won't. I really appreciate what Athol and Jen and Serenity and many others have been doing on MMSL. I think they have helped a lot of people. I am sorry to hear Athol had a heart attack and decided to shut the forum down. I salute you Athol for all you have done. I have bought several copies of your primer and give them friends when I hear that they are getting married. May your legacy live on by preventing problems BEFORE they happen.

    I am signing of a bit early to get ahead of the crowd. All the best to everyone. It has been a pleasure reading about you. And I thank you for helping me to get thru some tough times with your posts.


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