I'm new here and have learned so much by poring over old threads for the last few weeks. Could someone please let me know if there are any sections or threads dedicated to the woman's role in encouraging her man to develop his alpha side?
My guy does not yet know I'm researching this. I'm not in a 911 situation but would like to infuse our relationship with both male and female alpha so that we never end up in crisis. We both excel at beta, but after reading about the importance of having both alpha and beta in a relationship, I could foresee too much beta in our relationship taking its toll over time.
I bought the book for myself to read but experienced a problem with my Kindle download. Thanks :-)
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Welcome, I look forward to reading more of what you have to say.
Thanks for the welcome. Getting my guy on the forum will not be easy, so I'm trying to become quite knowledgeable before I push for that. He is extremely private. I'm always working on my SR!; I have ordered the primer; and I just ordered "Why Men Love Bitches," at your recommendation. Is the primer geared toward teaching men how to cultivate their alpha traits as opposed to teaching women how to encourage those traits in their men? (I bought the primer but am having Kindle issues so I have not read it.)
Developing his Alpha... there's been a lot of discussion about how to help our husbands be the Captain. First, tell him. Apparently women assume men can read our minds. They can't. Don't be vague, coy or subtle like us women tend to be. Be very specific. The more specific you are, the less he has to guess. The less he has to guess, the better off you will be. Don't just tell him you want him to be Captain, tell him how, what, when and where.
Next on the list of increasing good Alpha in your man... submissive posturing, being more feminine, encourage him when he is displaying good Alpha and good Beta. Also, do not reward bad Beta or bad Alpha.
Let us know what your MAP looks like, what Phase you think you are in and how its going. You'll understand this once you read the Primer.
I agree with you sasha that this is one of the truly helpful relationship sites. Since I can't read the Primer until I resolve my e-reader issues, I'm wondering if you could give me examples of bad alpha and bad beta.
I'm anxious to take your advice by telling him directly what I want, but I think I'll wait until after I read the Primer for that talk.
Meantime, I'm going to make this a weekend of my being more feminine. This is a challenge for me because I am direct and assertive. I know that it's possible to be both of those things whilst maintaining femininity, but I'm not sure how to do that. I'll need practice.
Luckily, I adore my man, who is the one and only man with whom I've ever felt natural being submissive.
When the going gets tough apply lipstick.
The universe doesn't give you what you ask for with your thoughts; it gives you what you demand with your actions. ~ Steve Maraboli