Biggest shit test of my life coming up in 3 weeks!

The most important shit test I have ever faced is coming up in 3 weeks and will set the stage for the rest of my life...I need help! I am very excited to be getting married next month. I am 35 and she is a year younger, so we have both had our share of experiences (me considerably more than her). 

Cuttin to the chase: Since the beginning of our relationship she has refused anal sex, saying that she would only give it up on our wedding night. I always laughed and teased her little ass with a finger or a thumb while nailing her from behind, but she always refused to take my cock saying the usual, "Not until we get married!" Well goddamn it we are getting married. Not so that I can bang her in the ass, I assure you. In fact, anal sexdoesn't really appeal to me (ok, a little bit) and I KNOW she is not interested in it. HOWEVER, she has been holding out for so long with the same line of, "not until our wedding night" that I expect to be balls deep in her booty hole five minutes after I throw her onto the bed after we take our vows. Only now, 3 weeks before our wedding date, she is backing out of the deal. When I bring it up she is telling me that I can't be serious. So far I have stood firm in my aloofness, cracking jokes about how I will be gentle but will have to carry her into the honeymoon suite as tradition and carry her out of the honeymoon suite because she won't be able to walk. She is flat out refusing to do it, in her laughing, joking way. 

I see what this is. It is a shit test. On my wedding night. This will set the stage for the rest of our marriage. Now, considering that this will be my wife and not some slut from the bar, I have to approach this with a bit more finesse than I normally would. I have a bit of time to decide how to play this so I look forward to hear your thoughts. I will also let you know how it turns out! 
Tagged:
DrumHornpicardTPokeJLBtechnovelist

Comments

  • betyerbottomdollarbetyerbottomdollar Member Posts: 3
    I had a thought about this. What if this could be a win win for us both... I mean, what if I make a deal with her. She gets to keep her anal virginity if she agrees to do something else. Now what should that something else be...? I don't know. Something that would benefit us both but would be a real sacrifice for her. 

    Shame she doesn't smoke...she could quit. 

    Something like that I am thinking. 
  • DrumHornDrumHorn AustinSilver Member Posts: 1,634
    Lets see...

    Joins forum at 11:12am
    Changes avatar at 11:13am
    Posts inflammatory thread at 11:14am
    Bumps at 4:33 to get more troll tags

    @AlphaStud strikes again!!!
    AngelinePhoenixDown
  • NewManNewMan INSilver Member Posts: 28
    I am new here, but, why exactly is this being labeled an inflammatory thread?

    I was kinda waiting to see what your responses to this would be.
  • RobRob Up NorthSilver Member Posts: 140
    Haha
  • NewManNewMan INSilver Member Posts: 28
    wow ok, now I'm being labeled troll. 
    I have to admit, I'm pretty new this this message board thing, there must be something I'm really not understanding.

    I'll just keep my questions to myself, and try to learn from yours.

    How beta is that???




  • DrumHornDrumHorn AustinSilver Member Posts: 1,634
    edited May 2013
    NewMan said:
    wow ok, now I'm being labeled troll. 
    I have to admit, I'm pretty new this this message board thing, there must be something I'm really not understanding.

    I'll just keep my questions to myself, and try to learn from yours.

    How beta is that???




    @NewMan,
    Don't take it that way.  I suspected your response was a troll too since it was your very first post on this board.  Because you could have easily been the OP who created a new account to create a nice response.

    But then I saw that your join date was February 23 so that showed me you've been on here for a while so you couldn't possibly be a troll.
  • SignorePillolaRossaSignorePillolaRossa mid atlantic usaSilver Member Posts: 4,079
    so, BetYer ...
    I don't think I know enough to comment directly on your topic ... Are you only getting married in order to bang her bunghole? How would you characterize the 'red pill' quality of your relationship? How are you as a Capt? How is she as  FO? How would she rate your alpha and beta mix? Have there been other sex related bargains made but unkept? 
    If you're super focused on anal on wedding night, you might need to engage a serious conversation about the importance of her keeping her word and the negative effects she will cause if her actions do not match her words.

    best of luck to you both,
    Sr.PR
    Sr. PR

    ============================
    sapere aude

    Fuck Culture. Live your life - Beatrice
    ============================
  • SignorePillolaRossaSignorePillolaRossa mid atlantic usaSilver Member Posts: 4,079
    sorry - i clicked 'post' too soon

    one last thing ... if anal really isn't that appealing to you, are you sure this is the issue you want start your marriage with?

    ciao,
    Sr.PR
    Sr. PR

    ============================
    sapere aude

    Fuck Culture. Live your life - Beatrice
    ============================
  • technovelisttechnovelist usaSilver Member Posts: 488
    Ok, assuming you are asking a sincere question, I don't understand why you would make anal such a big deal if you don't even like it that much yourself! I mean, is it just to prove you can do it, or what? I certainly wouldn't go to the barricades for something unimportant to me!
  • SteveDallasSteveDallas Member Posts: 391
    Ok, since that is generally accepted as a very uncomfortable place to have sex, much like the back seat of a volkswagen, I'm trying to figure out how you would expect her to be in the mood for such an activity after the stress of a wedding? Especially on the first try, she would probably need to be very relaxed to even consider it. That isn't the general mood of most women on their wedding day.

    Unless you plan to ply her with enough alcohol that she forgets the experience, I think it would be a huge mistake to force this issue.

    I think it would be appropriate to confront her on the stall tactic. Make it less about the sex and more about the communication. Why did she feel the need to dangle this out there like a carrot if she knew she wasn't willing to follow through?

    I would feel much more comfortable confronting this issue immediately rather than trying to force her to follow through on a physical commitment that would likely be a huge failure even if she did want to participate.

    Just my .02. Good luck.
    Angela
  • Athol_KayAthol_Kay My Underground LairPosts: 8,046

    Based on the members email he appears to be posting from his "real person" email address, so I think this isn't a troll question.

    The trouble is this lose-lose outcome. Either she does something she clearly doesn't want to do, or you fold on something that's been held to you as a marriage incentive.

    I think "When we're married" is akin to her saying, "That will never happen". My concern that she's apparently not into you enough / trusting of you, to even be willing to try this once.

    How is the rest of the relationship?

     

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  • AmiAmi Silver Member Posts: 300
    I'm no pro in this area, but I thought maybe it'd help to have a female perspective. First thing I noticed, is that you have not had a serious conversation about this, it's all been done jokingly, which is understandable because its such a taboo touchy subject. But if this is important to you I think that's your first step- how serious is her refusal, especially if you take away the rigid wedding night parameters.
    Have you yourself ever done this before? I don't think you can just plan for a certain day to have anal for the first time. I think working your way there slowly will get you better results. The truth is that if the woman is at all nervous or tense, it's gonna hurt so bad, you'll probably never even see her butt again. A finger here and there during regular intercourse, and other anal play will help slowly get a woman comfortable. For a woman this is a highly embarrassing thing to be curious about, to try and to like and if you rush at her on 1 day (and her wedding day at that!!!) it's likely to be a disaster.
  • betyerbottomdollarbetyerbottomdollar Member Posts: 3
    Thanks for the varied responses. For what it's worth, this is a real scenario I can assure you. 

    As @RedPillNewb said, "If anal is important to you, then you're given her a huge reward for defying your wishes: you agreed to marry her even though she is non-compliant.  That's a shit test fail right there.  Now she knows that she controls the bedroom and you'll tolerate her controlling the bedroom."

    I see this as a shit test because it isn't about anal sex for me, it's about compliance in the bedroom which can easily translate to compliance in other aspects of our lives together. We agreed to marry (for a million other great reasons I can assure you) before she started reneging on her agreement to try anal on our wedding night. Wedding has been pushed to early July, so the shit test hasn't been failed...yet. 

    I also think @Athol_Kay might be on to something, though I think her "When we're married" excuse was less of an I dont want to do it excuse and more of her wanting to do it with someone she knew she could trust...actually, writing this out is making me realize that AK just might have hit the nail on the head.

    "My concern that she's apparently not into you enough / trusting of you, to even be willing to try this once."

    @Ami you are right. I think this deserves a discussion because as AK says, this is a lose/lose situation. She has done anal before (with an ex years ago) so it isn't anything new. I reckon to avoid a likely disaster it would be prudent to bring this up from the questioning her trust point of view. 


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