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Need a plan
Roses
USASilver Member Posts: 720
So my parents are going on a trip. Yeah! I don't have to keep an eye on Dad, cook for Dad, for two-and-a-half weeks. (Mom's back to work two days after they get back.) I'm looking forward to this, over two weeks with just the kids, and husband on the weekends.
So husband calls. He's asked and gotten permission to work four of five days from home for the next two weeks. He works 200+ miles away. So I tell him that's great, but I don't tell him I'm more than a little pissed. If he must keep this wretched job, then this arrangement full time would be ideal, so if he can prove it works, wonderful.
But this was supposed to be my break! Just me and the kids, no one else to look after. We were going do stuff that we just can't when we have to be on Dad's schedule. Go bike riding and have a picnic, that sort of stuff. Hang out at the county fair 'til bedtime. Husband is acting like he's doing me a favor, or maybe like I can't handle things. I handle five kids and Dad seven-to-six, five days a week for nine months of the year, I handled five kids just fine before we moved here, and I'm the one who shoots the rattlesnakes anyway.
It's the very heart of fire season. I suspect that's part of husband's concerns, but I can handle an evacuation. I'm the one who made the evacuation plans. We had to load up just a few days ago, me, kids, and Dad--Mom was out, but the bombers got to it fast enough we didn't have to go. Besides, he would be out with his department if we were evacuated.
OK, so I vented. He's going to work remotely using Dad's office (if he can get in there, it's a mess) because it has a locking door. I know this man: when he's done with work he wants to lie around on the bed watching movies on his tablet and let the kids play video games all night. Note, he's not playing with them. He's going to be the World's Biggest Wet Blanket on my plans. That's how it was before he started this job, that's how he is on the weekends. That's not how he was before kids, but you know, that's his choice. I don't have to go along with it.
And I'm just starting my MAP. Like, found the yoga mat and folded a pile of clothes to go to the thrift store just started. I was supposed to have time to figure my MAP all out these two weeks, with the other adults gone, but now I have two days.
So, do I fuck his brains out in hopes of encouraging him to try to continue this work schedule? Do I let him suck the kids into the electronic abyss? Do I make the kids continue with the plans I've already made, and let him join in and complain, or refuse and complain as he likes? Do I throw a fit and make him turn off electronics when I want to sleep or do I go with fuck his brains out to get to sleep?
So husband calls. He's asked and gotten permission to work four of five days from home for the next two weeks. He works 200+ miles away. So I tell him that's great, but I don't tell him I'm more than a little pissed. If he must keep this wretched job, then this arrangement full time would be ideal, so if he can prove it works, wonderful.
But this was supposed to be my break! Just me and the kids, no one else to look after. We were going do stuff that we just can't when we have to be on Dad's schedule. Go bike riding and have a picnic, that sort of stuff. Hang out at the county fair 'til bedtime. Husband is acting like he's doing me a favor, or maybe like I can't handle things. I handle five kids and Dad seven-to-six, five days a week for nine months of the year, I handled five kids just fine before we moved here, and I'm the one who shoots the rattlesnakes anyway.
It's the very heart of fire season. I suspect that's part of husband's concerns, but I can handle an evacuation. I'm the one who made the evacuation plans. We had to load up just a few days ago, me, kids, and Dad--Mom was out, but the bombers got to it fast enough we didn't have to go. Besides, he would be out with his department if we were evacuated.
OK, so I vented. He's going to work remotely using Dad's office (if he can get in there, it's a mess) because it has a locking door. I know this man: when he's done with work he wants to lie around on the bed watching movies on his tablet and let the kids play video games all night. Note, he's not playing with them. He's going to be the World's Biggest Wet Blanket on my plans. That's how it was before he started this job, that's how he is on the weekends. That's not how he was before kids, but you know, that's his choice. I don't have to go along with it.
And I'm just starting my MAP. Like, found the yoga mat and folded a pile of clothes to go to the thrift store just started. I was supposed to have time to figure my MAP all out these two weeks, with the other adults gone, but now I have two days.
So, do I fuck his brains out in hopes of encouraging him to try to continue this work schedule? Do I let him suck the kids into the electronic abyss? Do I make the kids continue with the plans I've already made, and let him join in and complain, or refuse and complain as he likes? Do I throw a fit and make him turn off electronics when I want to sleep or do I go with fuck his brains out to get to sleep?
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Comments
OK, so I shouldn't worry about arranging things so he can be included, like if I'm driving somewhere to do something at ten and will be out past five, then he's out of luck unless he decides to come join us when he's done?
Kids are smart. I say no electronics, go finish your chores. Kids go to husband, he says, oh, sure, you can do electronics, doesn't ask if they finished their chores or have anything else they're supposed to be doing. I turn it off and send kids off to do chores, he's unhappy with me because they whine because I turned it off. It's part of a bigger issue--not one that I've figured out how to start getting a handle on yet.
Our housing situation is weird, but for these next two weeks he can take it up to the couch. Thanks for that suggestion as well--we have the basement, but no walls between sleeping and living areas in it (kids have rooms, just not us) and it wouldn't have occurred to me that he can chill in what's usually my parents' space.