Sexless Marriage

Templar

Strongly agree - do not do this. Once it is done, you will have a devil of a time putting the genie back in the bottle. You can't undo things. Once our fantasy is realized, we tend to look for the next level to fantasize about - for her that would mean bringing in another guy - with or without you. Framed as "wouldn't it turn you on to see another guy and I . . ."  Those are all part of the same road.

You need to focus on what and who you are. Make yourself the man she can't resist.

Chuck

Definitely do not let another man watch you and your wife having sex, or let him have sex with her.... If you are looking for an "easy" way to spice things up you could ask her what a man that she fantasizes about it like, then do everything you can to be that man... If her man is Indiana Jones get a cool hat, bull whip, and take her out on an amazing hike with some waterfalls and ancient ruins with you leading the way... (my wife has an Indiana jones thing)  Actually asking her about her fantasy is what originally brought be to MMSL because it seemed like our marriage was great except for the fact that we were only having sex 2-3 times a week and not at all on her period, and I would much prefer 5-7 all month long....  If she has a thing for Wolverine get yourself some "claws" and scratch her back and then take her from behind.  If she has a thing for Thor get a blonde wig and spend the next 12 months in the gym muscling up and drinking protein shakes...  The point of the story, you need to figure out what turns your wife on and become that man!

DaveBowman

This won't make anything better, and will likely make things much worse very fast. If that's your goal, then good on ya.

I suspect there's an unstated pachyderm about.

Balance

@Chuck, that was hilarious. Especially the Thor one. Haha!

DaveBowman

I am Thor, witness the power of my mighty hammer, Mjolnir!

It's handle is short, but the head is very wide, and I find it quite impressive.

For the win. Using.

Rapunzel

PK219 said:

She was not shy and certainly enjoys sex when it happens, but its the volume of sex we have. None. Yeah I do need to ask her why. You might be right she mite not be attracted to me but she has never mentioned this ever. The only thing I hear is that she is always tired from work. She is not happy with her body. i have tried to encourage her to exercise with me to get things fired up and feel alive but she just does not have the inclination at all. 

I have only ever seen her in "mum" mode and never "wife" mode. Thats why I tried to make things different and spend time alone but it not very often. About once a year we get a hotel room but its not enough. I want an intimate relationship with my wife and enjoy cuddles kissing and passion. I am frustrated in my marriage which i think is unfair. She obviously doe not want sex and its been like that for years, so she is getting what she wants in the marriage. There has to be a compromise???

She may not even know. Personally I just thought I missed my calling to be a nun or something. If someone would of said the reason I didn't care about sex is because I don't find my husband attractive, I would've thought they were nuts and told them to go fly a kite. It does all come down to that, really.

It's not about what you are doing or not doing in the bedroom. It's not 100% about your looks. It's all about how you are living your entire life and how you two are relating in all areas of your relationship.

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