Planning my escape

2456

Comments

  • SerenitySerenity Senior Moderator** Posts: 11,358
    One year ago, I was where you are ... except my husband also had low T.  I can tell you from personal experience that it's 100% possible for you and your husband to turn this situation around.

    After both my husband and I ran our Maps for more than a year, our marriage and sex life are better than they have ever been.

    As Athol said, read the Mindful Attraction Plan; it is life-changing.

    Also, you can download the free Forum Orientation booklet and answer the Triage questions here.

    http://www.lulu.com/shop/athol-kay/mmsl-forum-booklet-free/ebook/product-20919811.html


    Purpleliberty
  • MovingForwardMovingForward Member Posts: 181
    edited August 2013
    Athol_Kay said:

    Actually right now. Don't do a damned thing to try and attract his attention to MMSL, it will only weaken it's impact.

    I would like you to read The Mindful Attraction Plan for yourself and report back where you think you are in the process, what you've tried and failed at before now.

    It sounds like you've been unwittingly throwing Display of Low Value after Low Value at him.

    Will do. I have started the book already.

    I didn't understand the last line of your post. Does that mean I've put him down? I'm very careful not to, but it happens. The only time I've ever said outright that I wasn't attracted to him, was months after my first daughter was born (9 years ago) and I was having panic attacks during sex/from him approaching me. I couldn't figure out what was wrong.

    Thank you @Serenity

    And I'm not the only 'victim'. He is, too. I'm not delusional. I know I've made mistakes as well. But isn't the point of this blog/movement that female drive is reactive? As in, the guy does stuff to turn on his wife ??
  • AlphaVsBetaAlphaVsBeta CaliforniaSilver Member Posts: 395
    This is a good place to start to see that your not alone...these posts may inspire you or show you the reality of your situation...
     
    FO having trouble holding the bridge..... @Mrskenny2 Is in your exact spot...maybe a little ahead of you, but with many similar struggles/feelings...have a look at ALL of her discussions...
     
    @JellyBean's post in this thread suits your thread too. Especially the last quote:

    And she says to read this post. DO IT!!!

    And here is that quote:

    The central theme of MMSL is to get yourself into a position where you’re so valuable as a potential partner, that you no longer are required to tolerate being in a relationship with a crappy partner who refuses to handle their own shit.
    MovingForwardsashaScarletSerendipity
  • KarukKaruk Member Posts: 105
    edited August 2013
    @onefootout has nailed it with this thread.

    Most of the guys on this forum and the NMMNG forum would LOVE to get this type of feedback from their wives BEFORE they cheated or bailed.


    Too bad she isn't blasting this info the her hubby. 




    FlyingDutchmanTimSim1971
  • AlphaVsBetaAlphaVsBeta CaliforniaSilver Member Posts: 395

    How do you know if the H will even listen to it without an A/B ultimatum? Your part of a self-selecting group of guys who had it "blasted" to them in an ultimatum, or worse (I'm assuming this...if your here at MMSL, and NMMNG to try to salvage your relationship)...

    My point is, that @onefootout's H may only respond with action...an ultimatum, a divorce filing, etc...

    I believe mere words will be useless...

    SerenityJellyBean
  • liquidliquid Brooklyn, NYSilver Member Posts: 1,785
    I am quite familiar with "courtship" so I am very interested in reading your answers to the triage questions.

    When our children were little we went to a chuch that pushed the courtship model. It just did not sit right with my husband (I was so happy about that as I thought is sounded crazy!) so we did not raise our children with that mindset. Twenty years on, we have seen some sad things.
    AlphaBelleScarlet
  • KarukKaruk Member Posts: 105
    I'm sure she has told him that she cries 90% of the time during sex..
    That his kiss makes her skin crawl...
    That she feels like she is married to a girl most of the time...

    TO HIS FACE!!!

    Women think men are fucking mind readers. 


    I suggest she print out her posts and show him what she is willing to say OUT LOUD to the WORLD but will not say to his face. 

    I have no sympathy for people bailing out of relationships dishonestly. 
    SignorePillolaRossamixnmatchReborn
  • MovingForwardMovingForward Member Posts: 181
    edited August 2013
    Karuk said:
    I'm sure she has told him that she cries 90% of the time during sex..
    That his kiss makes her skin crawl...
    That she feels like she is married to a girl most of the time...

    TO HIS FACE!!!

    Women think men are fucking mind readers. 


    I suggest she print out her posts and show him what she is willing to say OUT LOUD to the WORLD but will not say to his face. 

    I have no sympathy for people bailing out of relationships dishonestly. 
    I HAVE told him this. I HAVE told him that 90% of the time I'm holding back tears or that I run to the bathroom and bawl my eyes out in the shower. I HAVE told him his talking is driving me INSANE.  I HAVE told him I don't enjoy his kisses.  I HAVE told him he's too emotional/pouty and it turns me off.

    I WOULD show him these posts, if I knew this would help, not further damage what little there is left. 
    I can't constantly say these things to him and expect a good outcome.

    WTH, you don't even know me, or my situation.
  • KarukKaruk Member Posts: 105
    We read stories like this here on a daily basis but usually it's a guy like your hubby posting. He's wondering "why" his wife is leaving him. 

    We quickly find out disclosure from the wife is weak, incomplete, or just in their head that the husband was suppose to read her mind. 

    I don't know your story. I do know that you are willing to break up your family and hurt 4 children because you want ALPHA. 

    Maybe you need to speak his language for him to understand.
    Athol_KayJellyBeanAlphaBellekaldaEightbitGuitarslinger
  • KarukKaruk Member Posts: 105
    Show him the posts.
    Athol_KayAlphaBelle
  • AlphaVsBetaAlphaVsBeta CaliforniaSilver Member Posts: 395

    @Karuk...I call BS on that...There are scores of FO's who are just as frustrated and at the end of their rope as @Onefootout...

    And there are scores of guys who are on this forum willing to blow up their marraiges because of a crappy sex life...so really, who's the bigger villian?

    JellyBeanliquidScarletPersephone
  • KarukKaruk Member Posts: 105
    You read stories where men want to blow up a marriage because they want sex? Have you been on these forums before?

    Men will blow up a marriage due to lack of intimacy. Sex happens to be a big part of intimacy to men. 

  • SignorePillolaRossaSignorePillolaRossa mid atlantic usaSilver Member Posts: 4,079
    edited January 2014
     - Is there a male figure that your husband respects (pastor, sibling, parent, neighbor/friend, etc) that you can have intercede with your husband on your behalf to deliver a wake up call / call to alpha?
    Sr. PR

    ============================
    sapere aude

    Fuck Culture. Live your life - Beatrice
    ============================
    AlphaVsBeta
Sign In or Register to comment.