Building Emotion Outside the Bedroom

SunDanceSunDance CaliforniaSilver Member Posts: 189
I think emotion is a weak area for me in my MAP.  I am looking for ways to build on emotion outside the bedroom, but not DLV.  My dominance is good, but the emotions I build in my wife are weak.  Thus, all she feels is that I want her for is sex and chores around the house.  Anybody have any advice?

Comments

  • MariaMaria EuropeCategory Moderator** Posts: 5,323
    edited August 2013
    You need to find something you are passionate about: A hobby, an assignment, a challenge.

    Nothing is sexier than a man with a passion.

    _____________________________________________________________________________
    If you want us to be unapologetically feminine, be unapologetically masculine.
    thelittlemrs
  • thelittlemrsthelittlemrs Silver Member Posts: 263
    Go find something active that you can have fun doing and then invite your wife to come have fun with you. Being playful together is bound to evoke positive emotions. 
  • hanielhaniel Silver Member Posts: 1,493

    """

    IX. Connect with her emotions

    Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

    """

    i think a lot of men hit a roadblock here. the main thing is in day to day transactions to try to take out the logical and just have fun. i try to remember when i was a kid and everyday outside was a brand new adventure. my best friend and i had so many private jokes and private stories. try to create that with your wife. when we are driving around i will just make random jokes and stories about different places and people. there is some market that sells 'halal meat' . one day i just said what the halal is halal? and my wife fucking loved it. now thats her favorite line whenever we see something shopping and dont know what it is. she'lll look at me and go what the halal? i didnt even think it was funny when i said it but i've learned to just say whatever during these times cause you never know what will stick. the main thing is to watch her response, dont stick with anything that isn't working, and flow with what is.

    tl/dr be a kid again and treat her like your best friend where every day is a new adventure


    thelittlemrsBalanceThe_D_WordMarySam
  • pocketacespocketaces MassachusettsSilver Member Posts: 1,019
    Tell how much you like her cooking. ;)
  • SerenitySerenity Senior Moderator** Posts: 11,358
    My husband is working on this, too.  He grew up in a very constricted family, and feels like showing emotion or showing that he cares makes him weak and vulnerable. He doesn't like to give people the power to hurt him, but by withholding himself, he's the one who inflicts hurt.

    I can't tell you how much it means to me when he does express that I'm important to him and that our marriage is a priority.

    Major moment today when he shared with me how concerned he was about a fight we had this weekend. I just stared at him for about 60 seconds because I didn't really believe that I heard him right..... and then I melted.  I felt so much love for him at that moment.

    It's hard to be with someone who doesn't express that he cares. I hope you can make progress on this.
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