MrsJon's MAP

MrsJon

@Serenity ; Thank you. My recovery from this surgery is going much better than the others, so I am very happy to be doing so well.

Did well with my monkeys. I am up to walking 1.5 miles daily and off the narcotics. Yay! I an getting through the night with Advil. Very happy about that. Also did a mile on the recumbent bike at the Y twice this week. I completed step one of my CE assignment and managed the one on one time with the children every day except one. Same for story time.

I also got super excited about geo caching that I read about on Telyni's thread. My teen helper has a smart phone, so we just went for it on Thursday. We had a blast! Discovered it after a few missteps, and signed the log. The children are really enjoying it and are planning next week's excursions already. I did wear myself out walking a little further than I planned, and Jon was annoyed with me as a result, but we worked it out and I think we have a new family hobby.

I get my stitches out on Monday and start PT on Tuesday. It will be a couple of weeks, I think before I can swim or run, so I will be sticking with the walking and recumbent bike for now.

Monkeys for the week:

Walk 2 miles daily
Recumbent bike 2 miles daily
Work with girls to do a multi-meal prep one evening from my new Freezer book
Physical touch for Jon - hugs, back & neck rubs daily & express appreciation daily
State of the Marriage meeting - Wednesday

MrsJon

Update

Stitches out and PT started. Started driving again last week. My wrist and hand are already way less swollen than they were before with the previous surgeries. Having the plate removed was definitely a good thing. I am doing really well in PT, so well I may even get signed off next week, so happy about that.

Exercise is going well. I am up to walking and recumbent bike 3 miles a day. Doing pretty well with the slow carb, and am down another 2lbs. Should be able to start running and swimming next week . Yay!

I finished my first online course and have a nice break this week. Will be starting the next one on Monday.

We are going camping this coming weekend, so I need to do some food planning for that.

I am teaching D8 and D9 some budgeting and cooking skills, so will spend some time with them doing that this week.

Also planning on a thorough cleaning of the basement and a few outdoor projects, shed needs cleaned out and painted. Deck and patio need swept.

My focus this week will be on continued improvement with physical fitness and diet, "Work first then play", as an example for the children and skill building (various) with the children.
Individual attention will take second place this week since the work and skill building will mostly be dome with either all of the children or at least two at a time.

Monkeys for the week:

Continue exercise, PT and diet
Get receipts and budget spreadsheet to go over with D8 & D9, include food planning & shopping
Paint shed exterior
Wash basement walls & gym mats
Brainstorm with children for reward activity on Thursday if all the work gets done
Menu plan & prep for camping trip

Angeline

Omgosh your oldest is NINE now??? 

MrsJon

@Angeline ; Yes, I know hard to believe, right? Actually, almost 10 (in September.) My baby is 3.5 already!

MrsJon

We had a great weekend camping trip, back now and focused on laundry and more laundry.
I stayed  on track with diet, PT and exercise. I am hoping to get signed off on PT on Friday.
Basement clean and sparkling, clothes sorted and/or donated. Yay!
D8 & D9 did the budget and food planning for the camping trip successfully.
We emptied the shed, but didn't paint it yet.
Deck swept and power washed.
Freezer meal prep session with D8 & D9. This is great girl time for us, and they are learning how to use spreadsheets to track freezer inventory, budgets for home and trips e.t.c.

I am still enjoying the geo caching, although we only had one more find last week. I am focusing on some free or low cost things for us to do, since our recent trips have been costly and I don't want Jon to feel like everything I want is expensive.
Last week we played horseshoes in the back yard, listened to music,  hung out on the deck together and gave each other back rubs as an at-home date. I need to come up with a list.

I have been going to the Y for my exercise every morning and leaving the younger children in the daycare. Then we go home and decide together which jobs we will do for the day. The children enjoying showing off all their work to Jon when he comes home. We are being very productive.

This week's monkeys:

Laundry
Continue with diet & exercise
Plan some free or inexpensive at home date nights for us
Paint the shed
Shop for new lingerie item and massage oil
Use massage oil for back & neck rubs for Jon
Have everyone pick 5 things to donate, box up & drop off

MrsJon

Update:

Signed off from PT and swimming and running again. Yay! I am down 3lbs and am still going to the Y each morning to work out. We have also been swimming as a family activity, so taking advantage of that.

Shed is cleaned out and painted.

I bought a new sexy nightie and some new underwear with input from Jon.

I planned one at-home date activity for us, we did a cooking session together,  played scrabble, then had our own wine and cheese party on the deck.

Working on:

I am planning on staying the course with my diet and exercise, and continue planning individual attention time with the children, mostly centered around skill-building activities.

I want to be more involved (take more interest in) in our long-term budget and financial planning.

I will continue making a list of at-home activities for us as a couple.

My wardrobe is pretty good, but I don't want to slack off here, so I need to evaluate my closet and maybe do one shopping trip to keep it updated. We have a Nordstrum's Rack here now!

Dopamine. I have been getting almost all mine from Jon since we started MAPping. I haven't worried about it too much, since I figured it was good relationship-building for us. I am thinking it may be time to branch out and get my own sources. I am considering cooking classes or joining a cooking group or club. Or maybe a Meet Up group for trail running.

Sex. I am doing really well. I am no longer just focused on Jon and anxious about meeting his needs. I am 100% Responsive Desire and have been able to identify things that I like and that help me reach arousal. I have kept a list for a while and shared with Jon now and again through a journal. Now I am able to tell him directly. I have enjoyed trying new things with him.

Monkeys for the week:

Continue with diet and exercise
Budget review with Jon
Research cooking classes in the area
Look up some Meet Up groups for running
Review Household Schedule with older children
Put children's individual time on calendar
Back/neck rubs for Jon/Initiate once
Library

Hannelore

Love your updates, MrsJon. What do you do at the Y? I've been walking three miles and and hour of yoga (class) a day, but I'm thinking of looking into a swimming class.

(Our Y childcare is awesome!)

MrsJon

@Hannelore ;   Yes, the Y childcare is awesome here too!  The three youngest love it. The older girls are too old for it, but hang out in the gym and shoot hoops and practice handstands on the gym mats while I work out.

I currently do two out of the three following activities:
Run 5 miles on the treadmill
5 miles on the recumbent bike
Swim 20 laps

Right now I do the recumbent bike still due to my recent surgery. Once I can use a regular bike I am thinking of trying a Spin class.

MrsJon

Update

My wrist has continued to heal well and is almost back to normal. I am down another 2lbs, and I have continued my Summer habit of working out at the Y in the mornings. My days seem to go so much better when I do this, and most importantly I have more energy.

School and work are back in full swing, everyone is doing well with school and our slightly tweaked routine.  The little boys are both in preschool three days a week now, so no more daycare. Jon is home on Fridays and his parents have them on Mondays. That is working really well.

We are all loving doing the geo caching. So that is the activity of choice most weekends.

I was successful finding a Meet-Up group that does trail running. When I started looking into this I had no idea where I was going to fit it in time-wise. I am so glad I made the effort though. I love this group! There are quite a few older ladies in it, it has been a very good experience for me, pushing me out of my comfort zone. Very inspiring as well. So now, I put the trail runs on my calendar, and work everything else around it.

I have been going to a Spin Class about once a week, and have kept up the swimming as part of my morning workouts.

I signed up for a half-marathon in September.

I am still doing well (and learning) with the cooking. I cook Monday-Thursday and Jon does the weekends. We make a good team, I think.

We have a weekend away, just the two of us planned for the Holiday weekend. I am excited!.

Monkey's for the week

Keep up diet and exercise
Reread the MAP book
One Trail Run
Sign up for Hot Yoga class
Plan Family night with Jon
Back rub for Jon without him asking
Wear one outfit he likes without him asking

MrsJon

Update

Down two more pounds, ran a half marathon last week and am still loving my trail running Meet Up group.

I signed up for Hot Yoga and Jon decided to join me, so that has been fun. We are also looking into cooking classes. I was going to do this by myself, but we decided it would be a good couple activity for us

Our oldest two joined a swim team and they have early morning practice at the Y. This is a perfect fit for me, since I am able to get in a good long workout while they are practicing. The younger three hang out in the lobby with the Mom of one of the other girls on the team (they color or read and eat breakfast.) In return we watch the other girl on Friday nights so her parents get a free date night. Super happy everything just worked out so well.

I have been pretty good about giving Jon unsolicited neck or back rubs. Failed at the wearing sexy outfit though.

Our family activities has been mostly swimming and we went to a local Hot Springs last weekend and had a blast.

We are doing very well in the bedroom. We have both been exchanging massages, which we love. I have been working on getting comfortable doing some Yoga poses just for him, and I am rereading "The Sexually Confident Woman".

Working on:

Clothes and hair need some attention.
Household Schedule has taken a hit due to general busyness, so need to prioritize some things even when we don't do our normal Saturday morning work session.
Need to plan some Fall activities for the whole family.

Monkeys for the week:

Sign up for cooking class

Pick an item from the Household Schedule and work on it for 15 minutes each night

Plan a hike on a new trail, maybe an evening hike on the weekend

Make hair apt

Wear a sexy outfit one night without Jon asking

Do one thing just for the pure fun of it. Geo caching? roller blading?

Cook a meal or small plate just for Jon and me, after the children are in bed. Eat outside.

MrsJon

Did really well with my monkeys this week. We went rollerblading for fun yesterday, and had a candlelight meal on the deck afterwards.

Signed us up for a baking class starting in a couple of weeks. Hair appointment next Wednesday.
Worked on cleaning and organizing my kitchen cabinets for 15 minutes each evening and they are done! definitely a success. That is one and three-quarter hours of work that would not have been done. On to bedroom closets for this week, I think.

Jon is planning our hike for this weekend, so that works for me.

I copied an idea that @mrsthing wrote about on another thread. I put on a sexy outfit, then called Jon upstairs saying I needed help with the laundry. He was very happy to help! Thank you @mrsthing

Not on my list, but I unloaded a huge Vampire this week. Lots of history here, and I won't go into all the details. My Mom has been a Vampire to me and our marriage for a long time. We have set some strict boundaries and that helped a lot. She moved away once, then came back. Lots of nonsense and attempts to encroach on the boundaries. After a long discussion with Jon, some tears and anxiety, I made the decision to cut her from our lives completely. She is simply too toxic and incredibly draining, even when held at arm's length.

And the good news?  Now that it is done, I feel nothing but peace, calm and relief, as if I have been relieved of a huge burden. Vampire slayed. My life is my own now. MAP triumph, I think.

Monkeys for the week:

15 minutes on bedroom closets each evening
One thing from my "Feeds My Soul" list
Hair appointment and maybe mani/pedi
Write in my Gratitude Journal 3 times

MrsJon

Update

I did ok with my 15 minutes working on the bedroom closets, and got two closets done and organized. Did not get to the master bedroom closet though, so that will get pushed out a week.

I got my hair cut and have been good about writing in my gratitude journal.
So, did pretty well with my monkeys overall.

We started our cooking class last weekend and we are both enjoying that.
I did get in one trail run with my meet-up group and I pushed myself to go to one social event with the group, which was a big deal for me. I never do this kind of stuff by myself.

I am currently making plans for a weekend away to visit my oldest Sister in CA at the end of the month. I haven't spent time with this Sister in a very long time (Mom-related issues). So I am really looking forward to that.

Home with sick Little Ones this week, as well as being sick myself. Myself and D10 have Pink Eye, and S3 and S4 have Pink Eye plus tummy bug. What fun! I did get us all to the Dr. this morning, so we have the meds we need. We just need to get better. The little boys I think are finally done throwing up, so hoping to sleep tonight. The Dr. was kind enough to give me an economy sized prescription for the Pink Eye meds, so when the two currently healthy children catch it, I will be ready.

Keeping my monkeys simple for this week, as well as focused on things around the house, since I will be home for at least a couple of days.

Monkeys:

Read to the boys (jumping on the fact that they will sit still, since they are sick)
Keep up the 15 minute work sessions on the closets
Make airline reservations for trip
Wash interior windows
Shampoo living room carpet
Do one thing just for me during quiet time (bath, read, Yoga)
Work on writing project with D10
Work in a trail run? Maybe?

MrsJon

Well the Pink Eye cleared up with the meds for the three that  had it, but unfortunately not for me. I did call the Dr back, but he said to give it a couple more days, So Ugh!
The little boys and D10 are fully recovered and back in school today.  D9 and D6 now have tummy bug and Pink Eye.

I managed a soak in the tub during quiet time Monday and Tuesday, so counting that as a win. Also got the interior windows done and as of this morning 45 minutes of work on the master closet. Almost done with that, Yay!
Read to the boys a bunch while they were home, Success!
I scored a good deal on airplane tickets for myself, D10 and D9 to CA at the end of the month. Just praying for no more sickness, bugs e.t.c between now and then.

I did so well with the interior windows, I am thinking of talking the exterior ones this afternoon. I am leaving the carpet shampooing until Friday.

I don't think I am going to get  trail run in. Just using the treadmill and doing my dance routine (dvd) for fitness this week.

Jon planned a trip to go kayaking this weekend, my first this year due to my wrist injury and subsequent surgeries. I am so excited! Fingers crossed my eyes will be better by then.

Making myself a reading list, some old favorites, some new and some to help or learn skills.

Also just agreed to attend a cooking club-type group next week. I will take the D9 and D10 and I think we are all cooking the same dish, just lots of it and bringing two or three home? Something like that. This is another thing outside my comfort zone. Pushing myself to be more social and learn some kitchen skills, as well as modeling social skills and not being afraid to try new things to the girls.

Grateful I only have Pink Eye, not the tummy bug
Grateful for the opportunity for some unplanned one on one time with the children
Grateful (and excited) to go kayaking again
Grateful to be reconnecting with my Sister
Grateful for this forum and all the helpful, common sense discussion and advice

Tiger_Lily

@MrsJon have you tried chamomile tea eye rinses?  I've always found them effective, using regular supermarket chamomile teabags.

http://wellnessmama.com/4856/chamomile-herb-profile/ (scroll down for pinkeye instructions)

MrsJon

@Tiger_Lily ; Thank you so much for that suggestion! Texting Jon now to pick some up on his way home.

I will try this out tonight and report back.

MrsJon

Yay! We are all reasonably healthy again, and I am hoping for a nice normal week.

@Tiger_Lily ; Thank you so much, I used the tea rinse and my eyes cleared up by Friday. I really appreciate the suggestion and the link.

Got through most of my monkeys, did everything except the carpet shampoo, so sliding that over to this week. Bedroom closets are done. all the windows are sparkly, and I rearranged my Yoga and meditation corner in the bedroom and bought some new candles, so that is looking nice.
We went kayaking yesterday and had a blast, then stopped by the Hot Springs on the way back. We discovered a campground close to the whitewater park, so hoping to fit in a weekend camping trip before it gets too cold.

This week I am working on time management, individual time with the little boys and keeping up with the 15 minute work sessions in the evening.

Monkeys

15 minute work sessions, hall closet
Shampoo dining room carpet, Wednesday evening
Cooking club, Saturday am
15 minutes each evening with S3 and S4, outdoor activity
Budget review with Jon
Review my calendar and block out time for trail run

Grateful that I am healthy again
Grateful for my treadmill (even though I really hate it). I was able to run every day this past week because of it.
Grateful for a beautiful Fall
Grateful to live in a beautiful area
Grateful for my little boys and their boundless energy

MrsJon

Running behind with my updates, but here goes:

I have been diligent with my 15 minute work sessions, and have conquered the upstairs closets and am moving on to the basement storage area this week.

Managed a couple of trail runs, got the carpets cleaned and got 15 minutes with the little boys on most nights. Calling that good.

The cooking club didn't work out so well, but not wasting any time worrying about it. Moving on to something that works better for us.

Had a fantastic trip visiting my Sister. It was really great to reconnect with her. We had a lot of fun and the girls enjoyed doing some grown-up activities, like going to a dinner party and coming to a Yoga class with us. So glad we got to do this trip.

We are going cool-weather camping next weekend at the campground we recently discovered. Very much looking forward to that. It is close to where we go kayaking and not far from the Hot Springs.

Jon is planning a special trip for us this Christmas. We are doing a Yellowstone Winter Vacation. I am so excited. We missed last year's trip due to me breaking my wrist. I can't wait!

Working on:

Winter wardrobe review, phone communication with Jon and being consistent with my Yoga.

Keep up diet and exercise, work on my bucket list and keep up my gratitude journal.

Evaluate what things need to be done by a paid service and what we can do ourselves, to maximize our couple and family time.

Continue working on my food planning and prep skills

Monkeys for the week:

Text Jon once per day
Yoga 5 times 
Work on my Bucket List
One food prep session
Two trail runs

Grateful that:

We are all healthy right now
I have a husband who willingly leads our family
I found such a great trail running group
My wrist is finally healed
I have two fun trips to look forward to

MrsJon

Update

Did ok with my monkeys. I was on track with exercise and Yoga, I texted Jon once every day, and not only added to my bucket list, I actually crossed an item off by hiking a fourteener. Yay for that!

I only got one trail run in though and did not get the meal prep session done, so pushing that over to this week.

We went camping this past weekend. We called it a cool-weather trip, but we had highs in the 70's, so not really all that cool. It was a nice, but completely exhausting family trip.

I did get started on the basement storage area using the 15 minute a night plan, but ended up only doing one shelf as I needed the time to do prep work for camping.

The week ahead is busy, so I am planning ahead to block out individual time for the children in the evenings, get in my trail runs and keep up with housework. Focusing on Relationship Comfort also since it is easy for that to get forgotten when things get really busy.

Monkeys for the week:

Maintain diet and exercise
2 trail runs
15 minute individual time with children, daily
15 minute alone time with Jon when he gets home
Express appreciation and affection to Jon, verbally and by text
2 hour time slot Friday or Saturday for "me" time
Budget review with Jon on Wednesday
15 minute time on basement each evening
Meal prep session, Saturday am

I am grateful:

We are having such beautiful Fall weather
For my D6. For her sunny, happy-to-be-alive personality.
I have a job that I love
That Jon's Mom continues to do well

MrsJon

Update

Some wins and some fails on my monkeys this week:

Wins;

Got on two trail runs, individual time with Jon and the children each evening and 15 minute evening work sessions on the basement. My basement storage area is looking good!

Just ok on:

Expressing affection and appreciation, and phone communication. I could have done better here. The phone communication thing is just ongoing. It is my weak area and I keep cycling through improving, then falling flat again.
Did get a meal prep session in, but it was not as productive as usual and ended up being at the expense of other needed housework, so not really feeling it as a win.

Fails:

Did not get in a Budget Review and was not able to fit in any "me" time.

I am not focusing on what I didn't do. Life has been super busy and I think we all did the best we could. I am super happy that we were all able to connect each evening, even if only for a short time. Calling that a big win.

The good news is I am off now until next Monday. We don't have any huge plans and I giving myself the gift of no monkeys for the week.
My plan is to just enjoy the down time with Jon and the children.

Looking forward to:

Outdoor Ice skating
Hiking and trail running
Trip to the Science museum
Breadmaking with Jon's Mom

Grateful for:

Our new church
An upcoming craft fair that has cookie decorating and ornament making so I don't have to do those things.
My Children's teachers

fordsvt

Lots of progress there.  Nice work And keep up the good work.  Very good to read you're making some great strides