Sit Rep

SaigoTakamori

Morning

I have come to a realization of mistakes I was making..

 

I will commence to STFU and work on me.

 

That is all.

Thank you to All, I am ready to whole heartidly  Listen And Hear now.

Serenity

After reading several of your threads, I get the sense that you feel overwhelmed at the number of things you need to work on in your Map.

Athol had a great post about choosing your Three Monkeys.

What are your Three Monkeys for this week?  Maybe use this thread to keep track of your progress.

SaigoTakamori

1)  maintain frame 

2) work on me,  

3)  just read and do not post (I guess I just broke #3 ha!)

ozzy

SaigoTakamori said:

1)  maintain frame 

2) work on me,  

3)  just read and do not post (I guess I just broke #3 ha!)

I will now channel my inner David Allen (Getting Things Done (GTD)guy) -

Those are projects, not actions to be done.

What does maintain frame mean to you?  When will you do this, how will you do this?  What does the successful result look like?

Work on me?  How - what are you going to work on?  Clothes?  Working out?  Eating right?  Dentist?  Doctor visit to treat X condition?  

Break it down into simpler items so that there is a clear result that you can attain before you move onto the next thing.

DaveBowman

SaigoTakamori said:

1)  maintain frame 

2) work on me,  

3)  just read and do not post (I guess I just broke #3 ha!)

All of those things (except the last one) are actually component items.

It's like a kata. If you can't do step 1, step 2 and 3 and 4 will have you in the wrong spot or with the wrong footwork or whatever.

So go back to step 1 and get that right. Then 2 and then 3...

We were working on this kata last night -- only it was jo and ken.

SaigoTakamori

ok, so a suggestion to improve the goals?

SaigoTakamori

All right more specific, and define

1) maintain frame-- I mean I must avoid taking the every day ups and downs, ebb and flow So Freakin Serious. LOL.    I had a Lt Gen in my office the other day, we have spoken some off and on of the past year.  He said to me, "You got to ask yourself" "Is this a hill I want to die on today"  That helped me in my idea of maintaining frame.   I tend to err towards Over Freakin Focussed when I want some thing.  So therefore I tend to take the Downs  Too Hard.  Workin on That Dammit.

 

2)  Work on me--Making it to the gym and working out with Intense Laser Like focus, I have made some real progress and I Am Not Going BAck.  I have fooled myself for far too long Ladies and Gents.. My wife is Really Really responding to the new me, and it feels great.  I am forging forward.  My pain in the gym Forges my spirit.  I worked very hard on my MA over the years have taught various alphbet police.  fell off of that, I did not realize, because I became a BLOB.   I giot depressed an d almost died folks,  NO MORE.  It ENDS NOW.

 

3) working on just reading ,and taking my lessons here.  My opinion is not vested yet, so I will keep it to myself, unless I am posting about me and  my path/journey.

Thanks

SaigoTakamori

@davebowman ; I cannot seem to view it, I will have to watch when I get home.  Sounds Cool though.  I was teaching sticks last night as a matter of fact.  We could be brothers!!  lol

liquid

I also need to maintain my frame. So I made a list, from the things in the MAP book, of my weaknesses in that area. Whining. Complaining. Nagging.  Neediness. etc. Felt overwhelming!

So I focused on neediness. I made a list of things that I did that showed my neediness - following him around. Asking him how he was or if everything was ok while he was busy. Going over to him while he was sitting at the computer every 20 minutes, touching him and hoping to get his attention. Sitting around every evening waiting to see what he wanted to do.

Then I chose going over to him and trying to get his attention. I just stopped doing it. Every time I started walking over to where he was, I would stop myself and try to do something productive instead.
If I had no pressing housework, I would get my Kindle or make a cup of tea or text a friend or something. Anything to remind myself that I did not have to wait for him to notice me to feel good about myself!

It helped me to be very specific. When I realized I had nothing interesting to read, I started ordering books on Kindle from the library. When I noticed that I wanted to go have a piece of cake instead of bothering him, I made myself go for a walk or try on a pair of jeans I was hoping to fit into. Sometimes I just checked Facebook - he didn't know I was wasting time! So long as I occupied myself I was not ACTING needy. Did I stop FEELING needy? Not completely. But I remind myself that I am not his Beta-Orbiter.

When this became a habit I wanted to start another one and found that I had already stopped doing them. I was no longer waiting around in the evening - I was busier. I follow him around and ask him if he is ok a lot less - because I am busier. It spilled over!!

PandaBear7

Actions on the OBJ. Everything else are merely stepping stones to get there.

SaigoTakamori

@pandabear7 ;  OBJ?  please explain  thank you.

 

Gym yesterday,  walked my 2 miles at work.  beautiful wife ordered chinese last night, slightly not diet compliant, however I am counting calories at this point so I just counted it in.

Broke rule 3 yesterday, got to keep my trap shut on here!! lol  As I have made that a goal I will do it,  Although it did occur to me, I am working on me and this Cyber Me     Does not define me,

On the bright side, I threw some SWAT members on their necks last night..lol  Those guys are Sooo Diesiel, yet CRAPPY balance,There is a God!! LOL

Serenity

I think you need to break your goals up into smaller pieces.  For example:

2)  Work on me--Making it to the gym and working out with Intense Laser Like focus, I have made some real progress and I Am Not Going BAck.  I have fooled myself for far too long Ladies and Gents.. My wife is Really Really responding to the new me, and it feels great.  I am forging forward.  My pain in the gym Forges my spirit.  I worked very hard on my MA over the years have taught various alphbet police.  fell off of that, I did not realize, because I became a BLOB.   I giot depressed an d almost died folks,  NO MORE.  It ENDS NOW.

1.  Work out at gym at least 5 times/week.

 

3) working on just reading ,and taking my lessons here.  My opinion is not vested yet, so I will keep it to myself, unless I am posting about me and  my path/journey.

2.  Spend 45 minutes per day reading the Primer/the Mindful Action Plan/the Forum.

Just have very specific, very quantifiable goals so that at the end of every day, you can see if you accomplished what you set out to accomplish.

And find an accountability partner who will hold you to your goals.

PandaBear7

OBJ=objective.

I find it funny that a general pops off with "is this the hill you want to die" on or for.

"actions on the objective" describes the essential tasks a unit performs on the objective, like assault, casualty collection, EPW (enemy prisoners of war); the key things to accomplish the mission. Failure to do them may result in failure if the mission.

So when you here some general say some catchy phrase they learned at the war college, just fire back with 'roger, I'm focussing on Actions of hone objective'. If they ask what you mean, reply 'you know, things like the double tap as we sweep across'.

Basically focusing on your red-yellow-greens from the MAP.

ABGuy

SaigoTakamori said:

1)  maintain frame  -  in early MAP, strive to be an observer, more than an active participant. Go about your own way and let things develop (get better/get worse) without your help.

2) work on me - you say "work out with intense laser-like focus." There is no need for this, at this stage. Just show up, when you are supposed to. Repeating that phrase worked for me: Just Show Up. 

3)  just read and do not post (I guess I just broke #3 ha!) - Great idea. In fact, it may also be a good idea to limit your time even on the computer in general, and get things done in the bricks and mortar kind of way. Lastly, like Serenity said, spend some time reading/re-reading Athol's books in small doses.

SaigoTakamori

@pandabear7--yea I see your point, I feel he was trying to say "pick what is important" "not everything is life and death" but yes perhaps more pointed advice would have been better.  He was walking throught he building on way to a meeting, I said hello, he asked how are things going.. it was a quick 2 min, if that, conversation.

So perhaps I can pick measurable actions.

BrianC

@SaigoTakamori I am going to recommend you learn how to use SMART goals.  It is a really simple tool. Make sure your goals are

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic and
Time-sensitive

I am using this system a lot in my fitness regime right now.

Specific:  I describe each week how I want to improve my exercise program.  I list the exercise gear I want to buy.  I ultimately want to do the P90X program.

Measurable:  I can count weight reps.  My metabolic doctor weighs me every two weeks.P90X also has a fitness minimum workout they want you to do before starting on day 1.  Once I have all the necessary equipment, I will use that as my workout until I can meet the demands.

Attainable:  I bought myself a copy of P90X, I know I can do it, but I need to buy the exercise equipment piecemeal.

Realistic:  I remind myself that losing an average of 3lbs. a week is good.  I know that P90X is something that needs to be worked towards, and I know what results it will get me on a first run-through.

Time-Sensitive:  I have deadlines.  All Equipment by December.  Meeting the Fitness Requirement by Jan 15th.  Starting P90X by Feb. 1st,  This lets me plan the rest.

SaigoTakamori

yesterday was day off from gym.  Walked at work, started Speed Walk down one side to change things up. 

as you all know: Bride and I work different schedules so our conversations are limited to cellphone call or text. so my betrothed and I were exchanging various semi-racy   texts in the morning. ( i am still trying her to go More Racy, she resists.. I guess I have to get  More Hot, first)  

So to conclude, on my drive home, she is worked up, I tell her to be naked when I get home ( I am trying to Lead much more in bedroom) , she says to leave my lunch box in the car and just come inside and "perentrate her"   This is good!   I do just that, it was real nice way to end day.

So,  things are progressing quite quite well at Chateau  Takamori.

Question: In An Attempt to Lead my family..  I am trying to get her to make a  list of things she would like done around house and yard..she has not done this.. Do I push more or is this DLV.. or what?  She is a World Class Procrastinator! however she "Hates being told what to do"  ( I know hamster...tell me about it!)  

Ideas?

Serenity

Awesome job last night. I am so glad things went well.  :-bd

Question: In An Attempt to Lead my family..  I am trying to get her to make a  list of things she would like done around house and yard..she has not done this.. Do I push more or is this DLV.. or what?  She is a World Class Procrastinator! however she "Hates being told what to do"  ( I know hamster...tell me about it!)  

Ideas?

Don't ask her to make you a Honey Do list. Instead, look around and see what you think is important to get done. It's fine to get her input, but you make the final decisions and decide on a schedule for getting them done.

SaigoTakamori

@serenity ;  10-4  I suspected that.  Thanks

SaigoTakamori

SO:  Explain this one... she was at walmart to buy a micro bacon crisper/cooker  YUM BACON!!   

 Any way, she texts me she found one, I respond BLT's this weekend...  She says OK....    I ask if we have the supplies?     She says we need bread.....    Being that she is at walmart I say. "being that you are at walmart just pick some up"..     She Hamsters goes on  about how she does not like shopping at walmart and will pickup some "later"

I text "Ok, I will just pick up some later then"  (as you all know.... I am working on OI )    She texts me a Unhappy Smiley

I text  "No prob hon, you are busy and I will do it"   She texts "The problem is I put it on the grocery list to pick up"

I at this point realize I am empowering hamster so I do not respond

 

5 min later she texts me a topless shot!    She has NEVR done that?

Soo..... Thanks...This shit works!

SaigoTakamori

so..I know boring updates....So taught a seminar today,  first one in some time, felt good.  I also did  not have to sit down.  Progress.  I am busting my ass at the gym, so it is nice to feel the progress.

Due to having to drive early this morning, and not going to see the bride till early evening.  we were up at 530am.
we had some tables and chairs to load in car for an event.  any way as we were waking up, I was having a chat with her re: what we had to get done for the day.  long story short she was feeling my arms!  this is the same woman who told 2 weeks ago "muscles dont turn me on".. I digress.  so I say "before we do that, I am going to do you!!"   I

I know how witty I am ..hold your applause   so I was expecting at least some resistance....she says "ok"

we make the beast withe two backs  nothing spectacular people.. It was 530 on a Saturday after all

anyway, I am trying to remain so OI,  but between me and you.. I Cannot Believe how fast this is working!

in conclusion,  I am mapping like my hair is on fire!  I love that quote @davebowmann ; to my Peeps.  @dude ; and @brianc ; you guys thanks for the supporting foot! to the butt   Peepetes..@serenity @redpillwify @redheadedwoman @simplegirl ; Chica Locas!!

Shihan:  @athol ; well I cant kanji here and not sure if you can read it anyway!  you probably can because you are That Cool!

I know I most likely forgot some real important people here.  Pleas take my regards, you are changing lives!