Loose

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Comments

  • BenBen Silver Member Posts: 3,651
    Well, that just means that you need to keep running that MAP on top of giving her the 30% talk.

    ---

    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
  • NeedyhusbandNeedyhusband Member Posts: 56
    @Ben:  Yes, MAP is definitely the key.  I have a long way to go.
  • DidoDido EnglandSilver Member Posts: 852
    @Needyhusband: don't forget if her pelvic floor isn't that robust, she won't be getting good sensation herself either. You've got to find a health reason to talk to her about it. Someone at work's wife with a problem or something like that?
  • NeedyhusbandNeedyhusband Member Posts: 56

    @Dido:  Thank you for comments and suggestions.  She really needs to get back into exercise in general which I think would help too.  She has always been too busy and works too hard to give herself much time (or myself).  Working hard, taking care of the kids (even though they are in school), taking care of the house.  Hell, I hired a cleaning service for the house.  She was thankful but I was "don't thank me, I am doing this because I am selfish!: :)

     

  • Karl_HungusKarl_Hungus Member Posts: 158
    steu2817 said:
    Solution #3:
    Stick it in her ass ;)
    A surprise finger in her butt (while continuing PnV) might tighten up her whole body... but some girls get grumpy about that. (And to be fair, can you blame them?) 

    FWIW, my wife and I have had four babies, and that can make a difference. But I'd never tell her she feels loose. That seems like a guaranteed ticket to no-sex-ville. However, I did tell her it feels great when she squeezes me with the "kung foo grip." (Always better to come at these things from a positive angle, IMHO, because nobody likes to feel criticized about something so personal.) I think she thinks the squeezing is fun too--kind of a super power she has over me, perhaps. Plus, she likes the reaction she gets from me, which I think makes her more excited to practice her kegel exercises. 

    Alternatively, there are positions that feel tighter and/or deeper that you can try. My wife seems to like when I make her lay in an L shape on the bed, with her legs tightly together (so she's bent at the waist, with her butt right next to the edge of the bed).

    Anyway, there must be a way to playfully let her know that it feels good for you when she squeezes you down there. Maybe tell her you like when she comes with you inside her, because you can feel her contractions down there? Just keep it positive!

    Good luck!
    ElaineIm_a_Man
  • NotelracNotelrac Member Posts: 3,517
    Kegels.  How you introduce the topic is going to be tricky...

     

  • NeedyhusbandNeedyhusband Member Posts: 56
    @Notelrac:  You mean I can't say "making love to you is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?"
    Karl_Hungus
  • BenBen Silver Member Posts: 3,651
    I believe "toothpick in a volcano" is the preferred medical terminology.

    ---

    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
    Karl_Hungus
  • NeedyhusbandNeedyhusband Member Posts: 56
    Thanks for the clarification!  I would hate to get it wrong!
  • ElaineElaine Silver Member Posts: 1,580
    I really think you should try some Cialis, Viagra or Levitra.  Regardless of her loose state, if you get pushed out when she tightens your erection isn't hard enough.  You probably have never noticed because typically your erection will be fine during masturbation or oral but PIV doesn't provide the same amount of stimulation so often the hardness is lacking.  I was totally paranoid about being loose myself (did all sorts of exercises and even visited gyn to check things out) and had lame sex for years before we figured out that hubby needed T therapy to make his erections better.  While building up his T we used Cialis and WOW instant amazing sex.  So I'd at least get a sample to see if it helps.  Could be that since you know she isn't really into sex that your erection is suffering.  Maybe once she gets more into it no more Cialis needed for future sex adventures.  :)
    [Deleted User]Serenity
  • MrDMrD Member Posts: 14
    @Notelrac:  You mean I can't say "making love to you is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?"
    Ben said:
    I believe "toothpick in a volcano" is the preferred medical terminology.

    I told her she at one time had felt like a tunnel...

     ...told her this after she was doing the Kegels for a while and was tightened back up.

    Now that the T levels seem to be returning to normal, sex is much better.

  • JacquieJacquie Member Posts: 132
    Serenity said:

    @Jacquie ; You are a lovely woman...and a very good sport.  And yes, I agree we're past the point of TMI.  Heck, maybe one day I'll be able to type c*ck or p*ussy without the asterick.  Nah, probably not.  lol

    Why against your Christian beliefs?

    Churches we've been part of in the past strongly discouraged reading anything that even hinted to eastern religious practices so I would have avoided this all together and moved on. The thing is...well...ok, confession time. I needed to do something that pushed me in this direction that I got to the point I didn't care. A few years ago I went back to school and one of the required classes was a PE class. Within the first couple of classes I had an...uh..embarrassing moment while doing sit ups; I wasn't going to make it through the semester unless something was done. That's when I began doing the research; kegels alone wasn't doing it.

    The problem was most of the things I found online seemed like cheap toys you'd find in a sex shop and I didn't feel comfortable with them. Plus that's what they were marketed for, only to improve sex life. That's not what my intention was at the time. When I read about the Jade eggs it was about the total health of a woman and her complete well being. Even looking at the pictures the product is classy and packaged tastefully, it does not scream cheap and erotic.

    The Jade really helped me overall, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally; how I felt about myself as a woman. There were benefits that came with it that had not been my first intention when purchasing.


     

    @Jacquie:  Thank you for being willing to share.  You will help many people!  Now, how do get her to find those links herself! :)

    I wish I knew how to advise here. It really does go beyond the intimacy, although I'm happy now for that benefit, but to how I felt as a woman getting older and feeling...I don't even know how to express how I felt about myself getting older. You know its bound to happen, we all age; we don't want to but sometimes we don't know what to do. In this day and age of instant information its still sometimes difficult to know things. I didn't have anything passed down to me by older women but I needed the information. I'm glad I eventually found it.

    The only thing I could suggest is if there is a good friend, a woman, whom she would listen to that you could ask to talk to her. If she has pelvic floor problems I'm sure she it doesn't add to her well being. Solving this cleared my mind for other things and I felt in a better place mentally. I hope this helps a little.

    (BTW Needyhusband - I don't want to assume, but wanted to ask if you wrote a blog a little while back. If so, I am so happy to hear that you and your wife are together. I've said many prayers for you both and its good to know that they were answered. If its not you, then disregard.)  

  • NeedyhusbandNeedyhusband Member Posts: 56
    @Jacquie:  It is me.  Thank you so much for the prayers!  I am very thankful to still be together.  I am doing much better personally--I truly believe God has blessed me with new strength.  My wife is coming around too.  I think it is just a matter of time before we get much better. 
    SerenityJacquieKarl_Hungus
  • EightbitEightbit DruidiaGold Men Posts: 2,410
    We use the ben wa balls to keep her turned on for an extended period. I put them inside her before a night out or some other activity where sex might follow. They pretty much keep her horny the whole time, and ready for just about anything anywhere which is really fun. Def one of the best things we got out of that awful shades series.

    They have other uses too, strengthening her muscles, etc, but that's pretty much all we use them for. Never get tired of them.
    Insert witty, insightful signature here.
    PhoenixDown
  • Im_a_ManIm_a_Man CanadaSilver Member Posts: 878
    Ben said:
    @Ben:  I had her put a vibrator in while we having sex and she was super pissed off about it.  She felt like I was "pushing the envelope" even though there was plenty o' room in there.  It felt great and was an awesome turn on.  I pretty much have to let her come up with ideas because I am a filthy pervert :D
    Oof.  Sounds like she needs a talk about how only 30% of what you try in bed will work.  It's fine to not be into something, but getting pissed off about it sounds like it might be getting into fitness test territory.
    I would have her do it again, she's been pissed and made her point but if it felt good for both of you then its all good.
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