Week 3 - passing tests, getting IOIs!

beta80 · December 2013

No huge news this week, but I'm feeling a lot better. Still no sex, about to cross the 5 month mark

I've read the MAP book (I had read the Primer and NMMNG before) and I've have a lot of reds, yellows and greens to work on. I'm somewhere between phase 1 and 2 - I can see characteristics of both. I'm now reasonably confident that this will end well, mostly because we don't have any of the serious problems mentioned so often in the book - we're not alcoholic or violent, we're faithful, we have good jobs, etc. I don't see this ending in an ultimatum; apparently I brought all this misery on myself because of being a nice guy (the only possible deal breaker here is the kids issue, but the MAP will put me in a better position to make the decision freely if it comes to that).

I'm getting better at recognizing fitness tests, and better at saying "no". She's been more compliant (after I set some rules for house tasks last week), and I made a point of acknowledging it. She's also not even asking me to do things she'd ask me before, which I read as being more respected.

I mistook a loyalty test for a fitness test and gave the wrong response; she went as far as [playfully] calling me out on that in front of my in-laws, and then telling me "you have a lot to apologize for lately"; in both cases I just smiled and said "no, I don't". In the end I "surprised" her doing what she wanted me to do, which I thing was the right thing to do after all, and she was happy about the "surprise". So it wasn't a total loss. She also called me "rebellious" for some unrelated thing, which I liked.

At the same time I did a lot of "good beta" during the weekend; she was genuinely busy finishing some work (again), and I stepped up. She acknowledged it and thanked me.

The most remarkable thing happened at a social event at the office. A very cute girl I hadn't met before actually approached me about some item I was wearing, we joked a bit, I remarked that my wife wouldn't approve of the item and her reply was something along the lines of "that's your wife's loss". I'll take that as an IOI

Funnily enough, I was almost leaving when this happened, so I kept trying to end the conversation and she kept it going... it was surreal. Then, when saying goodbye to the group I was with, I actually found myself putting my hand on some other girl's arm when telling her "have a nice weekend". I went home on an adrenaline/dopamine high

Perhaps the funniest thing is that my wife made cookies last week and suggested making pancakes this weekend, as predicted by Athol

So all is going well. I'll keep working on these damn reds