This is my first post and my story is fairly typical. After having two kids, my wife's easy-going personality became stressed and agitated, our sex life disappeared, our marriage became unhappy, etc., etc. Fortunately, about six months ago we turned a corner and we seem well on our way to an all-around great marriage. We still have set-backs and there are issues that we still need to work through, but our sex life is greatly improved and our non-sexual relationship is good and generally getting better (we actually enjoy spending time together).
My wife and I are both in our 40s and fairly fit. She goes to the gym regularly and I tend to get my exercise through mountain biking. Now that the cold and snow have arrived, I am going pick a winter exercise routine until I get back to mountain biking in the spring. I planned on hitting the weight room this winter and I imagined I'd be going on my own. However, my wife has been suggesting that we go to the gym together. Although we occasionally mountain bike together, we have never worked out together at the gym. It seems like this is a great opportunity to both improve myself and to get sweaty with my wife, but I can't help worrying about pitfalls. I am much stronger that she is, but she can run circles around me on cardio, and I think her crossfit workout is pretty aggressive.
So I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to approach this. I'd like to do this with her, but there seems to be a big opportunity for DLV (like if she kicks my butt when we do her workout routine). Has anyone started working out with their SO while rebuilding their marriage?
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I think it's totally ok that you are stronger and she is better at cardio. If she kicks your ass, just take it in stride. Keep at the cardio workouts and you'll improve. It will just be about your attitude about it.
I say, if you have the opportunity to do something together that you both like, then do it.
Not sure you can score the same deal, but see this thread:
http://marriedmansexlife.vanillaforums.com/discussion/8746/wife-motivating-me-to-work-out-with-sex-what-could-go-wrong
We have been working out at home to the Insanity videos. Has been going well. It is great motivation to have a workout partner (regardless of the other motivation offered). She kicks my ass on the cardio, but there are portions I can excel at, and my improvements have been much more noticeable.
Also, sometimes on the weekends, we drag the whole family to the club and I play with the kids in the pool or gym while she hits a cardio class. I usually have a few minutes to hit the weights as well.
@FlyingDutchman said: " mate guarding at the gym. "
Damn right! I regularly see taut young things at the gym. You think I want Beau enjoying that kind of eye candy without a little reminder of my presence? There are some things I simply can't compete on but I make sure to keep my hair up in a swingy ponytail that y'all seemed to think was sexy. ;;)
I don't really think that mate guarding is necessary... But it'll be good for both of you! My wife still thinks there are a bunch of Olympic lifting gymnasts that go there... Meanwhile for every fit person there there's someone with 30% body fat.
Give it a go and if it's not your thing than find something else productive to do!
We did P90x together a few years ago and it definitely helped us bond. Of course, the best part was admiring each other's naked bodies once we started seeing results.
Since the school year started though she's been walking our kid to and from school each day and there are several very steep hills so by doing that she gets her workout in and I'm sort of on my own to do my own thing. We try to do some indoor rock climbing and running together when we can though.
@LazyAlpha, the shower deal is a good motivator. I may need to angle for that more often.
I can also see how inviting her might be interpreted as pressuring her to do something. But in this case she is inviting me, so I'm in a position to accept or refuse her advance.
@FlyingDutchman and @CMH, I've been thinking about the mate-guarding aspect for a while as she's been going by herself. But she goes in the middle of the day (as would I, because I work odd hours) and at those times the place is empty except for a few retirees in the gym. So no mate guarding for me. There are usually a few housewives (and the occasional college student) doing spin, so maybe there is an opportunity to cultivate a little bit of healthy jealousy in her.
I think I will give it a try with her. If it does not go well, I will go back to my original plan and go by myself.
My wife and I have occasionally talked about trying rock climbing, but never actually did it. Maybe that's something for us down the road.
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