When I started exploring my sexuality, I always found myself drawn to domination/submission. But I think I got a little bit spooked when I stumbled across Taken In Hand. Folks there are completely full on about this and I found myself a bit disturbed at the wives almost being treated as children. I stopped researching at that point and decided it wasn't for me. But I think if I had kept exploring tamer versions, perhaps I might like it.
I've never seen anything on the Taken In Hand site that suggests to me that wives are treated like children. I suppose it depends on your perspective. Personally, I never feel at all childlike when being spanked. It's very sexy, but only if the spanking is for something real, 'erotic' spankings do nothing for me at all.
@Kar I don't understand how something that you like can be used for discipline. To me it's like a child inviting a friend over and the parent saying "As a special treat, I'm going to take your toys away while your friend is here." Makes no sense to me.
This is why I suggest tying discipline spankings to positive behavior. That way discipline spankings essentially become erotic spankings.
That would be too ghastly for words. Spankings are very painful, the thought of them being used as a 'reward' is appalling. That would totally mess with my head.
-I'd been having a pretty rough week, and letting him just take over and "punish" me was a huge release. I'm sure using his manly strength to subdue and punish me was a pretty big rush for him too
-I think I kind of get off a little on the shaming aspect...
-I kinda felt like I deserved it for something I'd done earlier, so it kind of made me feel better about the earlier transgression (I don't even remember what it was now)
-I'd been having a pretty rough week, and letting him just take over and "punish" me was a huge release. I'm sure using his manly strength to subdue and punish me was a pretty big rush for him too
-I think I kind of get off a little on the shaming aspect...
-I kinda felt like I deserved it for something I'd done earlier, so it kind of made me feel better about the earlier transgression (I don't even remember what it was now)
Cause those sound conflicting to me
You weren't angry when we did that, love. It's the anger/serious part I don't think I could take. The "emotional release" mentioned above was a better way of explaining it.
@Louise Well it messes with my head that your husband spanks you for punishment. Lol
Well, I suppose different things distiurnb different people. 'm perfectly happy being spanked for punisghment for instance, wheras I would be very disturbed indeed if my husband said "If you don't lose weight/dress the way I want you to/ have sex with me every five minutes, I'm going to dump you for someone else' which seems to be considered the most satisfactory way to deal with relatinship problems on here.
@Louise Well it messes with my head that your husband spanks you for punishment. Lol
Well, I suppose different things distiurnb different people. 'm perfectly happy being spanked for punisghment for instance, wheras I would be very disturbed indeed if my husband said "If you don't lose weight/dress the way I want you to/ have sex with me every five minutes, I'm going to dump you for someone else' which seems to be considered the most satisfactory way to deal with relatinship problems on here.
I am curious, Louise, have you read MMSLP or a good portion of Athol's blog? Do you understand or know the concepts laid out in MAP? If so, you would know about Phase 6 and that it is not taken flippantly as you suggest in this comment.
@Louise Well it messes with my head that your husband spanks you for punishment. Lol
Well, I suppose different things distiurnb different people. 'm perfectly happy being spanked for punisghment for instance, wheras I would be very disturbed indeed if my husband said "If you don't lose weight/dress the way I want you to/ have sex with me every five minutes, I'm going to dump you for someone else' which seems to be considered the most satisfactory way to deal with relatinship problems on here.
I am curious, Louise, have you read MMSLP or a good portion of Athol's blog? Do you understand or know the concepts laid out in MAP? If so, you would know about Phase 6 and that it is not taken flippantly as you suggest in this comment. </
Well, I see a lot of suggestions that seem to imply that the way to get a wife to do what he wants is to keep her nervous and insecure that she's going to lose him. Someone suggested bringing home cakes and saying that some woman at work gave them to him, this is meant to make her think that someone else is after him, and this will make her do what he wants. It's a quite different kind of dynamic from the one that I find works with me. It'snot my cup of tea at all, just like spanking isn't for some people.
@Louise Well it messes with my head that your husband spanks you for punishment. Lol
Well, I suppose different things distiurnb different people. 'm perfectly happy being spanked for punisghment for instance, wheras I would be very disturbed indeed if my husband said "If you don't lose weight/dress the way I want you to/ have sex with me every five minutes, I'm going to dump you for someone else' which seems to be considered the most satisfactory way to deal with relatinship problems on here.
I am curious, Louise, have you read MMSLP or a good portion of Athol's blog? Do you understand or know the concepts laid out in MAP? If so, you would know about Phase 6 and that it is not taken flippantly as you suggest in this comment.
If you read further on in that thread, those tactics are sort of a "last option before the last option" sort of deal. Most of the guys here don't do things like that on a regular basis, I'd imagine, and only a few as a last ditch effort to get their wives involved in the marriage again. Huge difference.
He has the authority to stop an argument in it's tracks, or stop my or
his own moodiness that can lead to an argument by quickly and decisively
re-establishing his dominance and authority with a spanking.
For the benefit of others reading this thread, is this a valid restatement of your position?
I have explicitly given my husband the authority to stop an argument in it's tracks because I trust him to determine the best way tostop my or
his own moodinesseven if it involvesa spanking.
He has the authority to stop an argument in it's tracks, or stop my or
his own moodiness that can lead to an argument by quickly and decisively
re-establishing his dominance and authority with a spanking.
For the benefit of others reading this thread, is this a valid restatement of your position?
I have explicitly given my husband the authority to stop an argument in it's tracks because I trust him to determine the best way tostop my or
his own moodinesseven if it involvesa spanking.
Comments
That would be too ghastly for words. Spankings are very painful, the thought of them being used as a 'reward' is appalling. That would totally mess with my head.
Really? Cause those sound conflicting to me
You wrote:
For the benefit of others reading this thread, is this a valid restatement of your position?
Yes, that is accurate.
Kar