Avalinette's MAP

Avalinette

I've been thinking about my MAP as a whole and categorising my goals better. I realised that my two major focusses need to be:

Health: Continue having a healthy pregnancy and work toward having better energy. This comes mainly down to drinking water, eating iron, eating carbs regularly, monitoring blood glucose, taking supplements, pelvic floor exercises, being aware of picking up kids and doing less of it/doing it in ways that are better for me.

Money: We spent too much in the first half of the year (and we are probably living somewhat beyond our means in our choice of house and car) so I need to be careful of money. In addition to sticking to a firm budgets (groceries, educational spending, health spending, discretionary spending) and NOT spending money that isn't covered by one of those budgets (ie. if we need something, we can't just buy it, we have to allocate money from one of the budgets for it), I also want to do something toward getting more money in (eg. selling stuff second hand instead of taking it to the charity shop).

Another focus I'd like to do better on is socialising and relationships with other people and lots of keeping in contact with people.

SallyMander

"Unfortunately, both times I swam my stomach started hurting after the first lap so I had to stop."

Swimming does involve a lot of core, but don't be discouraged. Try some different strokes (backstroke, sidestroke, slow crawl without legs, even dogpaddle), or maybe kicking with a flutterboard. If your pool allows noodles, you can straddle on in the deep end and do a huge range of different exercises that might involve a little less stretching. Keep stopping when it hurts, of course.

Avalinette

Thanks @SallyMander. I'll be back at the pool on Monday and see how I go. I think I'll add some walking in water stuff as well.

Avalinette

I'm struggling a bit the last two weeks. Hubby's work has been tough so he's been working harder and coming home in need of a break so I'm doing more than my usual share of dinner, duds and dishes...but it feels a bit like that's all that's getting done and I'm making no progress on anything else. I have an actual to do list now too...so I can see how much I'm not doing

In addition to not doing extra things (like tidying the lounge) when things get busier, I also stop looking after myself so much (not drinking enough water, forget to take supplements, not eating enough iron, probably not eating enough carbs) and then eventually I hit a day where I just spend an afternoon browsing the internet and eating chocolate because I have no energy (that happened on Tuesday). I'm extra annoyed with myself because I'm trying to reduce my sugar intake to keep my blood glucose down (it's not too high, but it's borderline).

I'm frustrated at how everything in the house is going backwards, especially general tidyness. A little while ago, I tidied up the lounge and put away a lot of stuff and left out only stuff that's easy to tidy: so easy that my four year old could tidy it without help. So, I had a rule of no screen time for kids unless the lounge is tidy and added extra things like 'You want x? Sure, as soon as the lounge is tidy' ...and she'd pick it all up. Then, stuff started to slide a bit and for the past week or so the lounge has been too much of a mess for her to do it on her own and so it just didn't get done because I was using all my limited energy on dinner, duds and dishes...and we got back into the habit of screen time even when the lounge was a mess

Anyway, yesterday instead of bathing the kids and making dinner before fetching hubby from work, I worked with the kids to tidy the lounge...so it's tidy again now but we'll have to work to get back into the habit of keeping it that way: already this morning, the kids took out so much stuff they needed my help to tidy it up.

Anyway, I feel like it's all falling apart and I'm not getting anything done, but the facts don't quite support that and I need to remind myself of that. This week we had stuff on 4 mornings out of 5 (actually, make that fairly large out of the house outings every single day) , the last two three or four actually weeks I've done all the laundry (and there's not even a full loads worth of dirty stuff in the hamper as of this morning), the last two weeks I've done all the cooking except for about 3 breakfasts, the last two weeks I've done all the dishes except maybe 1-2 dishwasher emptying and 2 or 3 clearing-up-the-kitchens.  The last two weeks I think every day but one I've done the kids bath and cooked the dinner (usually two things that are done simultaneously by me and hubby). In addition, the kids and I baked a birthday cake and made birthday cards for hubby and I managed to make him his choice of breakfast and dinner on his birthday.

Pen_and_Sword

When momentum slows, or tips the wrong direction, it can feel like everything has gone to hell in a basket. But once you use that feeling to motivate shifting momentum forward again, do make sure you appreciate that things are NOT, in reality, hellacious.

As you said, the facts do not support the feeling that things are terrible. They seem to better support the idea that you're doing really well, from a big-picture perspective. Marathon, not a sprint, right?

Avalinette

Thank you for the encouraging words @Pen_and_Sword

Avalinette

I still feel as though I'm just treading water and getting nothing done, but things might be getting better now. Hubby only has one more week of stressful work and then he can switch to something else...and the stressful work got less stressful because the deadline he though would be around January (when we're dealing with a new baby) has been moved to March so he no longer has to get it done before the baby comes/he goes on leave

My 'workload' of kids activities is easing off a bit as various things finish off for the year so I'll have a bit more time at home.

I'm feeling stressed about all the things that need to get done in preparation of baby's arrival and in getting ready for Christmas but at least I have a list and have started ticking things off. I have a gut feeling/worry that bub is going to come early and keep doing irrational things like not wanting to pack a hospital bag/buy nappies/organise bub's clothes cause if I don't do those things bub can't come yet right? This is exactly how I felt with the last bub (and she was a week overdue in the end). 

My goal last week and again this week is to do one thing off the 'getting ready for baby/Christmas' list every day. I don't recall whether I actually managed it every day last week, but did most days.

Avalinette

Well, we are bare-minimum-ready for this baby now This week I packed all the bags (hospital bags for me and baby and overnight bags for older kids), more or less organised portacots and baby car chairs for both sets of Grandparents, I've bought newborn nappies and put newborn clothes in the cupboards. I've bought all (barring one or two unessential things) of the Christmas presents (though some we'll have to wait for delivery). I've written (and sent off) my early Christmas newsletter (that one's a big mental load off ). I also tidied away all the junk in the office and reorganised the pantry cupboard and made three more meals for the freezer (and hubby is making soup...so the freezer is near capacity).

Avalinette

I said my two big goals for now are health and money. Not doing great on either: just treading water really.

Health: I feel fairly good and energetic for pretty much 9 months pregnant, though I feel pretty unwieldly. I've been remembering supplements once (instead of twice) a day, I'm sure I'm not drinking enough water, I'm not eating enough iron rich foods (because it's always easier to reach for easy food when I'm hungry). My fasting blood sugars are still higher than they should be but GD doc says they're low enough and I'm late enough in pregnancy that it's not really a worry and she doesn't recommend meds. I'm doing better with controlling diet (I even managed without chocolate for about 3 days in a row this week) and having the accountability of a finger prick every morning helps my self control. I'm getting more exercise than I was a few weeks ago. I even managed about 8 half laps at the pool this week Two weeks ago I only managed half a lap and started crying when the morbidly obese woman sharing my lane overtook me because I felt so worthless and broken (and hormones). My mental health has taken a nosedive: anxiety, crying a lot and at random times over anything, snapping at my children. I've spoken to GP and midwife and have plans in place to see a psychologist but I may well not get an appointment till after bub is here. I'm not overly worried because it's obviously mainly hormonal and I just have to ride the waves and get out the other end. I'm also doing soooo much better mentally than my last pregnancy so it's kind of a win anyway

Money: Haven't really done anything positive on this front (like selling stuff etc) but I've stayed in budget for expenses and Christmas shopping is done and stayed in budget too We even managed to save enough on sales and stuff that we were able to buy our kids something nicer than planned.

Socialising: pretty much all the things I've invited people to in the last few weeks (months) have been cancelled by the other party and I'm so tired of it all But, I'll give myself points for trying. I have managed to get hold of the phone number of another Mom of a kid who'll be at Miss4's school next year. I like the Mom (what little I know of her) and my Miss2 was companionable with their 3 year old so they're a good match with our family. I may have a play date lined up with them next week.

MrsJon

@Avalinette ; Great job on trying to work in those social events. I know how hard it can be to do that when it doesn't come naturally. Also on getting everything ready for you and baby.

Thinking about you and wishing you a safe and healthy labor and delivery. And a healthy baby of course!

Good Luck!

Avalinette

Well, it's been two weeks since my last update. I've got all the things we need ready for baby done and I've basically done everything needed for Christmas

I've even cleared out and reorganised the pantry cupboard and the freezer

I still have some optional things left to do on both lists and am trying to keep myself productive and busy (cause the temptation is just to sit on the couch...)

Avalinette

Dear friends

I'm sorry to see the forum go. Thank you to everyone who has read my stuff and been a support to me in the last few years. I'll miss you guys

Hannelore

You, too! Keep in touch and best wishes for your delivery

Avalinette

Thanks @Hannelore
Well I had the baby!
Delivery was pretty good. It wasn't particularly fun but it was over quick and none of the stuff I was scared of happened.