That, and the willingness to approach. He gets approached because he likely comes across as friendly and open. Cdr. Awesome is like that. He's not sitting back waiting for people to talk to him, which in turn has people walking up to him all the time to say hello. Then you take that and run with it as the IOI that it is.
You're an attractive guy, but I wonder if you don't come across with the male version of Resting Bitch Face. I know I'd be hesitant to talk to a taciturn, grumpy looking dude. FYI, I introduced myself to Cdr. Awesome. He moved on that like a cheetah on a gazelle lol. I never had a chance to even look around the room after that.
"Speak your truth." - Scarlet Remember to play! Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not. Be married, until you are not.
"And I bet it's related to this confidence. I have a few theories about
why I don't have that, but I'm going to have to wait on sharing them-
I'm meeting a woman for a lunch date."
Yeah, you lack confidence aight. Niiiiiiice Humble Brag Bro. Bully for you.
"Fall down seven times, stand up eight" Japanese Proverb
Confidence. To be single, putting out a vibe that draws women in? Do you think you're that guy? [I'm really asking.] Don't be someone you're not, unless that vision represents someone you used to be, whom you'd like to be again. Not to be corny, but be who you are.
I honestly think the grass is always greener, for all of us, and I don't mean that in a bad way. Someone in a committed relationship (like many of us) might look at a guy spinning plates and wish that could be us, wish we could have and then drop partners at a whim, because of the passion and excitement that come along with that lifestyle. We all remember our first kiss, or first sexual experience with a certain someone, and how our bodies lit up with hormones and wonderful sensations (I get tingles thinking about the first time I was with my husband). Then again, to someone living the single lifestyle, especially someone who has experienced a good bit of time in a long-term, committed relationship, it might be hard to live that single lifestyle again, and I hear you pining for being with someone again. Connecting. You do seem to date a lot, but it doesn't seem like you do it just for the thrill of the chase and the conquest. You really seem to want to find someone to really connect with and to love again, even though you say you will not marry again (I believe I remember you saying that). There's really something to be said for that connection with someone, knowing they'll be there when you come home, glad to see you, wanting to kiss you, talk to you, share your life with.
I hope your date went well. I really want to see things work out for you, MM.
I had fun on the lunch date. I thought I presented myself well. I was funny and charming. Nothing felt awkward. I think my mistake was waiting until I got back to my office and then asking her out on a second date via text.
She hasn't responded in 2 hours, so I'm thinking it's not a good sign. And of course, who can say whether the timing would have made a difference. Oh well. If I'm wrong, great. If not, on to the next one.
@forestleaf- I'm not that guy. Never have been. It sounds so appealing to me because it seems effortless. I have to hustle; I have to keep putting myself out there, risking rejection and paying for dates. I think you're right; I do want to have that connection, that love, even though I'm a long way from considering marriage ever again. I don't believe it's for the thrill of the chase. I think I'm effectively spinning plates because it's been nigh-impossible to find a mutual attraction that goes somewhere. I've been flaked on plenty. I've ended things with some great women with whom I've had a great connection because I wasn't feeling physically attracted enough. I really do want to find the woman who makes me want to stop looking.
I have a second date coming up Saturday night. It's with a woman who lives in Chicago. We definitely had real chemistry on our first date and I'm pretty unambiguously attracted to her (and she seems to be to me). So wish me luck, I guess?
I think @Angeline has hit the nail on the head. I have a friend who @leoslayer reminds me of, and he has zero trouble getting sex. Most of his female friends are former lovers (me included, actually) and many of them are up for the ocasional booty call (me not included). I believe the number one reason for his success is that he is a fun, high-energy guy who genuinely likes women (not just pussy) and offers women friendly, fun, judgement-free sex. He is decent looking, and quite confident - these things definitely matter - but I'm sure that he wouldn't get nearly as much action without his positive attitude to life and women.
I'd say I'm fun. I'm high energy when I'm on, but I sometimes am a little reserved. I do genuinely like women. But if I'm honest, I probably do have resting serious face. It's commuter armor; it's kind of a city thing. Maybe eye contact and a more relaxed face should be part of my focus.
I'd say I'm fun. I'm high energy when I'm on, but I sometimes am a little reserved. I do genuinely like women. But if I'm honest, I probably do have resting serious face. It's commuter armor; it's kind of a city thing. Maybe eye contact and a more relaxed face should be part of my focus.
"Commuter armor" made me chuckle, but dude, I live in a city not that far behind yours in size and crazy.
How angry and wary are you still about women and sex and marriage?
"Speak your truth." - Scarlet Remember to play! Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not. Be married, until you are not.
I don't know if this helps at all, but I try occasionally to be the cocky asshole with my wife, and when it feels so far out of character (and after 14 years, she knows) that I can't pull it off, I just let myself crack up laughing afterward.
My theory is, that way she's laughing with me, not at me, that being funny is also a good/alpha thing, and the leading-edge of bad-assery might still tweak her lizard brain a little.
I can't claim any measurable results or anything - just an idea.
"James Bond doesn't have bad days." - Tennee
"The goal is to turn women on, NOT sex. If you become good at turning women on, sex can be assumed." - Tanooki
"If you have it and you
know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you
have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have
it, then you have it." - Jackie Gleason
My best advice to you my man - go to the mirror and say "I.Have.It". Really, let yourself have It. Because you do. I can stack evidence up all the do-da-day, but you have to internalize It. Now, you go figure out how to harness It. Because as the sage brilliant comedian above said, if you don't know you have it, well...you don't.
Any line, any action, anything will emanate from the fact that you Have It. If not, it'll fall flat every time, all the time.
This is the starting point. This is the foundation. This is Frame.
"Fall down seven times, stand up eight" Japanese Proverb
"Except when we go out on a date or two and they lose interest. (Or I do.)"
That's how it works. Thats how it's supposed to work. That's how we're wired. Sometimes you Next, sometimes you're Nexted. You sometimes strike me like you want the End Result vs. Enjoying The Ride. Enjoy The Ride man. Take Ice Cream Woman - you were literally just a ride for her. Okey-dokey, thanks. Thats it. Go at it with no expectations other than enjoying and living in the moment. Dgaf about where it might go, etc. Don't get frustrated - embrace the experiences.
"Fall down seven times, stand up eight" Japanese Proverb
A (long) while back @SaigoTakamori mentioned to read @sf64 's posts to someone asking about 'alpha'. If you allow me to make a humble suggestion to .pdf what you can there. He gave more that stories of life in a different world, you can extract the essence and build a plan for your next exciting chapter. For example, he mentioned a leadership book that all employees read in his org(s). You are smart, educated but have you immersed yourself in leadership? He also mentions his approaches with new dates. Overcoming the rug being pulled out from under him in life. Being a father to his daughters. Pulling a 'council' of friends when at life crossroads. You have just put behind you a year that for anyone, would be tremendously difficult. You have mentioned wanting to build up male circle but in the meantime there are people here (like @Tennee) whom you could elicit as a kind of virtual council until then. This is hasty, but time is of the essence. What have you got to loose but some download and commute time as you look at the essence of for yourself. To disregard his writings because, wealth, would be like someone looking at you and saying, oh yeah Middleman, he has it easy cause he's a professional doncha know. My real wish for you is that you find yourself, walking in a crowded room with the hottest girl on your arm. And why not....
2
sf64Střední Evropa na chvíliSilver MemberPosts: 1,997
A (long) while back @SaigoTakamori mentioned to read @sf64 's posts to someone asking about 'alpha'....
To disregard his writings because, wealth, would be like someone looking at you and saying, oh yeah Middleman, he has it easy cause he's a professional doncha know.
Over time, I have gotten a fair amount of push-back from those who say my wealth changes everything. The reality is that it has been my attitude and constant self-improvement that has brought good things into my life, including wealth. And of course, the hottest girl in the room.
Note - If you a FO with a Lazy Bear or Low-T husband, ignore everything I say. It probably doesn't apply "As he works on his MAP, he's going to do things that piss you off. He has to." - Steu2817 "In a world of Alpha's there is no peace for anyone.....welcome to Somalia enjoy your stay" - Highlander2
Over time, I have gotten a fair amount of push-back from those who say my wealth changes everything.
Also, whoever paid attention back then should have remembered that you drove an Honda Accord when doing dates, meeting hot girls in some hole in the wall joints. Keeping them in the dark regarding your wealth and status until you got exposed by someone.
But remembering such would destroy an oh so convenient excuse as to why your story doesn't really matter.
Comments
You're an attractive guy, but I wonder if you don't come across with the male version of Resting Bitch Face. I know I'd be hesitant to talk to a taciturn, grumpy looking dude. FYI, I introduced myself to Cdr. Awesome. He moved on that like a cheetah on a gazelle lol. I never had a chance to even look around the room after that.
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
^ This. Walk into the room like you own it. Because you do.
MM Said: 'I think it'd be good for me to figure out how to have (and display) a quiet yet overwhelming confidence. '
FTFY. Yes, that is Foundation Step Numero Uno.
How will you live well today?
Yeah, you lack confidence aight. Niiiiiiice Humble Brag Bro. Bully for you.
How will you live well today?
I honestly think the grass is always greener, for all of us, and I don't mean that in a bad way. Someone in a committed relationship (like many of us) might look at a guy spinning plates and wish that could be us, wish we could have and then drop partners at a whim, because of the passion and excitement that come along with that lifestyle. We all remember our first kiss, or first sexual experience with a certain someone, and how our bodies lit up with hormones and wonderful sensations (I get tingles thinking about the first time I was with my husband). Then again, to someone living the single lifestyle, especially someone who has experienced a good bit of time in a long-term, committed relationship, it might be hard to live that single lifestyle again, and I hear you pining for being with someone again. Connecting. You do seem to date a lot, but it doesn't seem like you do it just for the thrill of the chase and the conquest. You really seem to want to find someone to really connect with and to love again, even though you say you will not marry again (I believe I remember you saying that). There's really something to be said for that connection with someone, knowing they'll be there when you come home, glad to see you, wanting to kiss you, talk to you, share your life with.
I hope your date went well. I really want to see things work out for you, MM.
She hasn't responded in 2 hours, so I'm thinking it's not a good sign. And of course, who can say whether the timing would have made a difference. Oh well. If I'm wrong, great. If not, on to the next one.
@forestleaf- I'm not that guy. Never have been. It sounds so appealing to me because it seems effortless. I have to hustle; I have to keep putting myself out there, risking rejection and paying for dates. I think you're right; I do want to have that connection, that love, even though I'm a long way from considering marriage ever again. I don't believe it's for the thrill of the chase. I think I'm effectively spinning plates because it's been nigh-impossible to find a mutual attraction that goes somewhere. I've been flaked on plenty. I've ended things with some great women with whom I've had a great connection because I wasn't feeling physically attracted enough. I really do want to find the woman who makes me want to stop looking.
I have a second date coming up Saturday night. It's with a woman who lives in Chicago. We definitely had real chemistry on our first date and I'm pretty unambiguously attracted to her (and she seems to be to me). So wish me luck, I guess?
They are a no other option possible plan.
They a friend zone heavy deal.
Drinks only and after 8pm when possible.
How angry and wary are you still about women and sex and marriage?
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
How will you live well today?
Women throwing themselves at you is a result of a generally attractive man plus strong, 'here I am' kind of presence, not a sit back and wait thing.
Remember to play!
Do the right thing, whether anyone is watching or not.
Be married, until you are not.
Email address: angeline.greenwood@att.net
I do think that lunch dates as first dates tend not to work. That's just based on my experience over the past year.
My theory is, that way she's laughing with me, not at me, that being funny is also a good/alpha thing, and the leading-edge of bad-assery might still tweak her lizard brain a little.
I can't claim any measurable results or anything - just an idea.
M.A.P. - http://marriedmansexlife.vanillaforums.com/discussion/13574/pen-and-swords-map
My best advice to you my man - go to the mirror and say "I.Have.It". Really, let yourself have It. Because you do. I can stack evidence up all the do-da-day, but you have to internalize It. Now, you go figure out how to harness It. Because as the sage brilliant comedian above said, if you don't know you have it, well...you don't.
Any line, any action, anything will emanate from the fact that you Have It. If not, it'll fall flat every time, all the time.
This is the starting point. This is the foundation. This is Frame.
How will you live well today?
That's how it works. Thats how it's supposed to work. That's how we're wired. Sometimes you Next, sometimes you're Nexted. You sometimes strike me like you want the End Result vs. Enjoying The Ride. Enjoy The Ride man. Take Ice Cream Woman - you were literally just a ride for her. Okey-dokey, thanks. Thats it. Go at it with no expectations other than enjoying and living in the moment. Dgaf about where it might go, etc. Don't get frustrated - embrace the experiences.
How will you live well today?
Note - If you a FO with a Lazy Bear or Low-T husband, ignore everything I say. It probably doesn't apply
"As he works on his MAP, he's going to do things that piss you off. He has to." - Steu2817
"In a world of Alpha's there is no peace for anyone.....welcome to Somalia enjoy your stay" - Highlander2
But remembering such would destroy an oh so convenient excuse as to why your story doesn't really matter.