Avatar

About this site. . .

You have found an archive of the MMSL Forum, which shut down on December 27, 2016. You can continue these discussions on this forum

Badges

Gold Memberships!


Monthly $19.99



UNSUBSCRIBE From Gold


Beans

About

Username
Beans
Joined
Visits
1,193
Last Active
Roles
Member
Points
806
Website
http://marriedmansexlife.vanillacommunities.com/discussion/comment/536632/#Comment_536632
Posts
427
Badges
16

Comments

  • fordsvt said: @MissD  I'm sorry you disagreed with my post. However there is more moving parts here with this story and thread.  I wasn't attempting to be disrespectful at all to women.  But really for the most part when men and women are frien…
  • Tennee said: Beans said: Tennee said: Remember that she floated 'open marriage' (hence the title) before being busted concealing convos  with OM.  That is not a coincidence. In all fairness, I don't believe those two ar…
  • monkeydog said: Everyone has different expectations. I don't know what I would do in your position. I have been following your story and felt I would be remiss if I didn't weigh in on the side of maybe, just maybe, trying to salvage this. Th…
  • monkeydog said: I wouldn't put up with a sexless marriage and I would file immediately if I had proof of a PA or serious EA. In that context, communication (eg. open/honest) is just as (if not more) important to me as a healthy sex life…
  • Tennee said: Remember that she floated 'open marriage' (hence the title) before being busted concealing convos  with OM.  That is not a coincidence. In all fairness, I don't believe those two are related. She's mentioned several times in…
  • monkeydog said: Well, I was right that my opinion wouldn't be a popular one. It doesn't feel right to me, but I'm not Beans and this isn't my marriage. So many here have weathered much worse, it seems, including EA's, PA's and years without …
  • @MissD You're forgetting one major piece of this though. It's less about her being friends with the guy and more about keeping her communication a secret and the steps she took to cover it up AND the refusal to take steps to earn trust after it wa…
  • monkeydog said: This isn't going to be a popular post, but allow me to play devil's advocate. She hasn't fucked around on you. Your're compatible. You have children. You're still fucking her ...  You fill in the blanks. This goes t…
  • SignorePillolaRossa said: Beans said: SignorePillolaRossa said: see, then, you only gotta be able to trust her as much as you trust a plate ... sure, she isn't wife-level trustworthy - that's why you were OK with divorce unless s…
  • SignorePillolaRossa said: see, then, you only gotta be able to trust her as much as you trust a plate ... sure, she isn't wife-level trustworthy - that's why you were OK with divorce unless she chose A just dont let her status as a returned plate…
  • DaddyOh said: curiouselle said: IMHO, Until you get a handle on "C" you have strong odds of facing similar relationship issues.  It is a disconnect.  It has happened enough to be a pattern.  It would be really difficult for a partner a…
  • JellyBean said: Having sex with her is (at least in her mind) an indication you don't plan to go through with the divorce.  Disclaimer: I'm not justifying what I'm doing with the following comment... I'd have to disagree only because I …
  • @curiouselle You're right and God knows I've second guessed my decision several times....but not to her. Aside from the sex, I've given no indication that I don't plan to go through with the divorce. 
  • fordsvt said: Angeline said: Ok that brings up another question: when is it an appropriate time to meet friends of the opposite sex that could eventually turn into dates? Legally? When the divorce is final. A…
  • @HildaCorners Our divorce will be final in 30 days, so not too long. Definitely not a high conflict divorce so it will be done here shortly. I guess in the meantime I'll just take note of IOIs from women I cross paths with frequently 
  • DaddyOh said: I'll rather be Alone and Happy, than Lonely with someone. And it Has nothing to do with sex. I went 26months without sex after divorce. My wife goggles didn't come off, they were shattered. My Exw cheated on me. I just pictured …
  • HildaCorners said: Remember, to a woman, sex is a tool used to build connection. So by having sex with your stbx, her connection to you is growing. And that's the last thing you want. Find a way to either do without or to get elsewhere, but…
  • IrishGypsy said: Beans said: I know it's not a good idea but don't know how to handle it. Have a wank (or three). Seriously. Rub one out and you'll be substantially less likely to keep making this stupid mistake. The urge will b…
  • Angeline said: My ex husband of 30-odd years and I get along pretty well now, we are polite and swap off kid holidays and let each other know of significant kid and family events. But I really, really wish I could go back in time and avoid the …
  • _io said: Pregnancy.  Don't. Slim chance of that, I had a vasectomy a few years ago.
  • Just wanted to check in and say that everything is going ok so far with some hiccups. STBX and I have been dealing with shitstorms from our own ex's on various things this past week. It's almost like they sense our vulnerabilities, so we've had to …
  • HildaCorners said: * I have not had 127 husbands, but I have had more than I wanted to have. Lol, I figured so....though I seem to be working my way toward that number.
  • @Blackwulf Do you think mentioning MILs concerns as well would be needed?
  • Blackwulf said: There are different types of bipolar, and they can come off very differently from one another. It is definitely worth your stbx getting treatment.  Medicine can make a night and day adjustment in behavior if properly treated.  …
  • WheelMan said: MIL may well be seeing current unhealthy behaviors hidden from you, or that you have grown accustomed to seeing as normal. I believe it's the latter....I've seen signs just grown used to them. I can't see myself committin…
  • fordsvt said: It sounds like her parents are taking your side.   Is her Mother trying to buy time and get you to call off the divorce?  Seems like very odd timing to come up with this verdict about her own daughter?..........! Yes, MIL a…
  • MIL called me this evening and dropped a bomb on me. She told me she wanted to have my STBX wife committed to a mental health facility for 30 days. I was shocked to say the least. I asked what made her want to do that. She said based on her behavior…
  • Blackwulf said: These are grandparents to some of your children.  If they aren't the type to get super emotional I would talk to them.  I believe they realize their daughter has problems, and now a second marriage is ending and they need to un…
  • DaddyOh said: Beans said: Overnight I get a missed call from my mother-in-law. I'm thinking it's an emergency so I call back and get VM. So I get in touch with my father-in-law and he says they want to talk to me about the divorce. …
  • Overnight I get a missed call from my mother-in-law. I'm thinking it's an emergency so I call back and get VM. So I get in touch with my father-in-law and he says they want to talk to me about the divorce.