Just in case there's any confusion, my work isn't some kind of abandoned intellectual property I could allow anyone to build an actively growing website around.

I have absolutely no problem with people staying in contact / having a private group / et al, but planning a new forum based on me / my work / "The MAP" / et al, would be something I'd have to actively oppose to protect my work from being used by all other 3rd parties.

I suspect that you all underestimate the level of effort that goes into running and growing a forum. The first two years of the forum were pretty much a 50+ hour a week gig for me. Trying to create a critical mass of people is a stunningly difficult proposition and frankly I don't know if I could have really achieved it fully even if I remained healthy. In terms of time invested to dollar return, the forum has been... well... heartbreaking.

If you're looking for a current active forum, I'd generally recommend www.talkaboutmarriage.com which is where I originally started commenting on forums myself in 2009. They are somewhat generally MMSL aware and friendly there already.

WarnPeace said:

Is there nothing that can be done to transfer the forum to other interested parties?

I understand the sentiment here, but the forum contains an immense amount of personal information. Email and IP addresses for starters. Plus real names and photos in PMs yada yada yada.

No one would ever trust me with personal information again.

It all needs to be purged by Vanilla.

Hi there,

I suspect that most of you have realized that this day is coming, so I’m not expecting surprise as much as an all purpose “oh well” now that the day is here.

I’m closing the forum on 12/27/16. It’s the last day of the billing cycle for the hosting service. Per Vanilla Forums they will then purge the database wiping everything and there’s no coming back from that.

We’ll be cancelling the remaining Gold Member subscriptions and refunding any overpayments greater than a month of time. I’m also going to be turning Private Messaging back on so that if people want to continue communication with each other, you can arrange that via PMs yourselves.

And yes, my decision is final. Not changing my mind, please don’t try and come up with some kind of workaround solution to keep the forum running.

I’m sure the question on everyone wants answered is “why shut it down?”

I have some large primary monkeys I’m trying to juggle. (1) Content Creation, (2) Coaching, (3) My Personal/Family Life and (4) The Forum.

For a very long time I’ve been trying to juggle all four and becoming increasingly exhausted by it. I was of course aware of this, but also figured mid-2017 with the last kid off to college it would be a finishing line of sorts. I really had no idea I could have a heart attack and 2016 has been a horrible shock.

Coaching is enjoyable, a major income source and the forum only provides about 6-7% of the leads for my coaching calls. Coaching does take up a lot of time and energy though. The blog and social media in general has largely been falling by the wayside, and it provides greater exposure to my content and business. Likewise everyone asking “when are you coming out with a new book?” has been disappointed in my answers for a while here.

My personal / family life has been stretched thin at times and 2016 has been extremely hard on Jennifer. I am extraordinarily lucky in having her in my life.

So something has to give, and the only thing that can give is my continued support of the forum. Looking back I’ve been increasingly ill since the end of 2014, the heart attack was March 2016. It’s been nine months since then and I’m only just starting to feel *somewhat* normal. I really have to get back to content creation though.

I also cannot delegate the running of the forum to someone else. Please just accept that I’ve considered it and rejected this option.

That being said, part of the reason I’ve let the forum exist for as long as I have, is that I appreciate that so many of you have a deep attachment to it and to your other forum members. I’m sure that it feels somewhat unfair of me to end it and for that I am sorry. There are many people here that I will actively miss as well.

Most especially I would like to thank Rebecca / @Serenity for all her assistance in keeping things going as long as it has.

I’m also grateful for those that have helped with moderation and the many of you who have been contributing help to others for so long.

I’m also extremely grateful for this experience. I’ve learned a massive amount and it’s certainly helped round out my overall viewpoint and skill set. I’m a better thinker, coach and person for all of this.

In terms of my future and the future of MMSL, I’m for the most part heading to a combination of Youtube for the free content, and setting up shop on most likely a Teachable platform for paid online course work. Generally switching content branding to fall more under the Chain of Seduction model as well. The coaching will continue and I’m also looking to have more fun with life in general.

The heart attack recovery is going okay. It’s a much longer road forward than I could wish for. I don’t advise having one.

So TL:DR… the forum ends so I can move forward. It’s just time.

Athol

Zoroaster said:

I can't shake the feeling that I've heard the other side of this particular story.

Because searching on his email address reveals this is someone who has already been banned before, creates multiple accounts to attempt to access the forum again, and about once a year contacts us to explain he's a changed man that should be allowed access.

SignorePillolaRossa said:

didnt know that one, Katt - thanks for raising my awareness

I knew about Jamaica's LBGT stance, I just didn't want to ruin your ability to enjoy a vacation there.  :-)

The world is an imperfect place and there's many lifetimes of work to be done to make it a better place. It's okay to take a vacation and not be responsible for it all, or even think about it.