Breastfeeding isn't a dopamine rush for women.

If you got together at age 23M and 26F, it means you at 23 undervalued yourself then. The question is why. And why did she get into a relationship with a younger guy.

Athol_Kay said:

forestleaf said:

I'm glad you know him (his posts) because I think you are 100% right.  There should be no exchange of sex for anything else.  We need to feel connected FIRST, and the sex and/or quality time will follow, in no particular order. 

I believe his complaint is that he does not feel connected unless you have sex with him. That you therefore are actively withholding both sex and connection from him, and you shame him for seeking it.

I'm just trying to clarify the difference between what she thinks, and what he thinks on that particular issue.

I don't have enough information to know if her consciously pushing herself for duty sex is a good idea as yet.

The communication issues likely need to be fixed first, or the duty sex routines are likely to explode somehow.

DaddyOh said:

Ltiger said:

@kathrynthegreat
At the risk of thread-jack... Not necessarily let himself go, but typical betaization combined with not keeping up with me increasing my SR over the years, with 10-year age difference (me younger). This post resonated with me bc I've really been trying to "force" myself to be attracted, do the default yes, focus on his many good qualities...but I can't control the primal thing. It's starfish city which I feel guilty about.

Dear god can we please stop this default yes nonsense. Forcing yourself to have sex with you're badly unattracted just makes the situation worse.

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2013/09/the-red-yellow-green-sexual-communication-tool/ 

Basically everything coming out of your wife's mouth appears to be "Whhaaaaaaaaaa the MAP is working and I don't want it to."

She's also starting to get fear that you simply plan to leave her.