fordsvt said:

@MissD  I'm sorry you disagreed with my post. However there is more moving parts here with this story and thread.  I wasn't attempting to be disrespectful at all to women.  But really for the most part when men and women are friends the inevitable happens much of the time.  
They end up in bed together.  

I'm going to share an old conversation straight from the horses mouth, this is verbatim from back when STBX and I were just dating and discussing us meeting up with a female friend I had at the time:

Tennee said:

Beans said:

Tennee said:

Remember that she floated 'open marriage' (hence the title) before being busted concealing convos  with OM.  That is not a coincidence.

In all fairness, I don't believe those two are related. She's mentioned several times in the past that I needed a GF on the side...usually when we were fighting about sex. It was a loyalty test.

Up until this fall....she wasn't hiding communication, she wasn't changing her passwords (prior to the changes, she had the same ones for years). I can say with about 95% certainty that she wasn't hiding contact with other men before this. Sure, you never really know but if she was having any EAs/PAs, she was a ninja with superior technical skills. 

It would not be the first time this forum has seen the 'open marriage' thing put on the table for the purported 'benefit' of one party, then the offering party blows the doors off of it if one takes the bait.  "YOU took a GF, so there".    Its premeditated, advanced permission for an affair. 

Absent all the other stuff, I'd be prone to agree - Loyalty Test.   Here....hmmmmmmmm

We'll never likely know. 

Yeah...I get it, given her behavior it's hard to believe she hasn't cheated. But believe me, there's been times I thought she was (including when she made the open marriage comment) and I had to verify...and the conclusion was that there's been zero evidence she's had an affair or even pursued one throughout or marriage. Is it possible? Sure...but based on what I've seen and know, not likely. 

This recent issue with the male friend was the most evidence I've seen of inappropriate contact...and she didn't cover her tracks very well, which leads me to believe this was a first for her.

She never called me back so I went to pick the kids up and sure enough she wasn't there. 

Before that, I had my consultation with an attorney. We talked about assets, kids, child support, what I think she would contest etc. I told him that most of everything she and I will probably come to an agreement on except our living situation. I mentioned to him that we are 5 mos into a year lease, etc. His advice was to sort that out between us because no matter what we decide, it will be cheaper than us hiring attorneys to sort it out (if everything else is uncontested).

So now I feel like I'm in limbo....unsure what to do next. 

HildaCorners said:

* I have not had 127 husbands, but I have had more than I wanted to have.

Lol, I figured so....though I seem to be working my way toward that number.

Husband3point0 said:

Forget about asking more "do you like chicken" questions of a random sampling of women expecting to determine what your wife wants. Do you want to know what your starved for alpha gangbang porn-watching wife wants? She wants your inner Wolverine to beat your inner Walter Mitty to a pulp, hang him up by his underwear in a gym locker and then go find her and fuck her silly. 

You're killing me Smalls. 

I know I share a lot of my beta-ish thoughts and questions here....but about 90% of it I don't bring up to my W or give any indication that I'm thinking it. Being on this site has helped me STFU regarding sex....I can't remember the last time I mentioned sex or asked her if she wanted an orgasm....but this is a place I feel free to share those thoughts without risking progress I've seen (which I have). 

Case in point....last night was the first time my wife tried to call me out on the alpha I was bringing, caught me off-guard. We were in bed and I was initiating after drive-bys all day, she said "Why do you feel like you can always tell me what to do and think you can get your way with me??"...she's saying this while taking her panties off and touching herself. Thanks to you all, I know this is progress.