First of all, deep breaths, deep breaths. 

Second, I have yet to meet a married couple who has not dropped the D word in their marriage. Even the healthy relationships have some bumbs. This is normal. 

@Beatrice is 100 percent correct. You can only work on you. You can lead by example. But Get into counseling- Marriage or individual. 

Third thing, and this might sound harsh, but it's time to strap on the boots and create your own frame. What you just wrote is OK for this forum, we calling venting, but make sure that it never leaves the forum. When in doubt, think of James Bond or Jason Bourne. Would either of them write what you just wrote? 

From now on there re is no "I don't know what to do?" There's either an answer or "here are the options, let's figure it out and work on it" 

It's the holiday season. You put on a smile, have fun with your kids. If she wants to be pissy then it's all on her. 

While dating (btw, just had my 50th date this year), there's two ways to go about it. Neither is wrong.

Your way. The vetting process.
Or my way, which is: no chit chat prior to the date. We'll figure within 2 min if we're compatible. 

I learned so much about myself in this dating process. (I like'em thicker and bubbly. Who knew?)

You cant think of a "bad date" as wasting time. Think of it as an assessment of your own preferences. 

You're wife, "Wa wa wa"
You, go be awesome. 

Its not your job to make her happy. But man, your wife is immature. 

"The last guy I dated (and ghosted me), had low self esteem .. was nervous before every date .. didn't know what to wear, where to take me, was afraid of telling me he was a picky food eater, was afraid I'd reject him for not saying the right thing, or I'd reject him for not having a six pack, etc. "

Why would you give this guy more than 2 dates?

On a side note, I had to increase my Data on my celly a few months ago. You see, my work site shares a Wireless Hub with a .edu Therefore anything with sex in browser/site is off limits. I have to turn off my WiFi if I want to check with you guys. 

So just FYI. If anyone proceeds to continue with this website, can we please make it MMSL? Lol. My phone bill will thank you.