@Tennee said:

I will reiterate that when I die, I hope I go to Austria.

Good plan, but why not visit Austria while still alive?

Not only can you do something, you must if you want to lead a fulfilled life.
If I understood correctly you have no issue with him leading in the sense that he decides most details of your joint life. I suppose your thoughts are heard and taken into account, yes?
Your problem is that once you start managing stuff that's in line with what he decided he takes matters out of your hands and micromanages you. Did I get that right?

Start with verbalising your need to be trusted to manage stuff. Don't go to great lengths there, but state that you are just doing your part of what both of you decided earlier to do and that you don't want him to micromanage you. You are a proactive person and want to take initiative.
If he doesn't accept that you might want to re-think your relationship with him.

Please understand that the Captain /First Officer dynamic is more the outcome of a healthy relationship - among other sound possibilities; it's not written in stone! - but not the means to an end.
C/FO demands that both partners are able,  trust each other and rely on each other's ableness to solve problems and handle chores. What it does NOT mean is that one calls all the shots and the other just follows their lead. That's a Captain/flight attendant relationship at best.

You need to stand up for yourself. Being proactive seems to be a huge, integral part of your personality and it just won't do hiding it or letting it become stunted.
The person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with must accept you how you are. I am speaking of core personality here.
Sure, we all need to adapt our behaviour to our spouses, but we must not nerf our personality.

Now this is something I can not believe. That can't be.

Why not a part time job if working full time is not possible?