Definitely respond positively when he does the right thing, but remember that you did not beat him into being so passive.  It's okay for him to be uncomfortable.  Resist the urge to orbit him and soften every single blow.  

Stay the course.  The status quo was working quite well for him, but not for you.  Now you are sending the message via your actions that no, the status quo is no longer acceptable.  So he pushes back to get you back into your complacent little corner.  It's working.  His feelings are his to deal with.  Plus, they're pretty much made up on the spot - he senses things changing so he is floundering and grasping for reasons to justify himself and make you not change.  You said so just above that he thinks that justifying himself should make you accept what he did.  Be prepared for him to step up that behavior.  Continue to send the message via your actions that the status quo will no longer be happening.

This is never an easy process, but it is worth it. 

You won't sleep either way, so why can't you go anywhere else?  Better to stay up late reading a book or watching a movie, than to stay up late listening to him berate you.  

Serious question: why do you want to take this on?  Why try so hard to serve selfish people who treat you terribly?

I understand.  I happily voted for Clinton and am very disappointed in the election results.  I think we're seeing the start of an uptick in hate crime, much like Britain experienced following the Brexit vote.  Several of my friends have been on the receiving end of this, and it's pretty horrifying.

But.  While we see an increase in the expression of racism, it's really not new.  It was already there, and was just a matter of time until we saw it more fully.

Perhaps more importantly, I do not for a minute believe that it represents the majority of Trump supporters.  I now live in a rural farming area in a red, red county.  The people here are such good people.  Like, good to the point that I can tear up thinking about it.  They are hard-working, salt of the earth, kind, generous people.  They've also been on a staggering downward trajectory in their ability to lead a modest, secure, middle-class life.  For them, this is not about Republicans or Democrats or immigrants or anything of the sort.  Rather, it was about the utter frustration of being ignored by the higher-ups everywhere.  It was about being dismissed and looked down upon, and told that their concerns aren't valid because they don't compare to others.  So they voted for the first candidate who actually spoke *to* them.  Who heard them.  Because no one else has.  They are not hateful people, nor do they want to build themselves up on the backs of others.  All they want is to be able to have a full time job and a small home and the ability to not struggle so damn much all the time.  

Think on these people, because they are the ones who truly decided this election.  The racists and misogynists may be the most vocal on Twitter, but they are not this nation.  Remember the good people who are.