He already knows how you feel.  You have communicated plenty in the past.  Just tell him you have no desire to rehash this once again.  Then go do something productive.

Some people are just much more selfish and self-centered than others.  They cannot empathize with other people.  When she wasn't in love with you anymore, you became one of the "others" that she has no empathy or compassion for.  She wants what she wants, and you are an obstacle to that.  She will treat you the way she treats any other person who thwarts her desires.  It's hard for more compassionate healthy people to understand.

Just remember, she is no longer your wife, no matter that the divorce is not final.  She no longer feels any emotional connection to you.  She's simply a selfish person with whom you are in a legal battle.  She doesn't want to be fair; she wants to win.  

You said you have a lot to work on to up your SR that has nothing to do with looks.  Do that with intensity.  She is attracted to strength and competence per her reading material.  Do you think that is how your wife would describe you?

Gnusmas.  Imagine this.  Your wife has slept with three different guys in the last two years, guys who you hang out with occasionally.  She also is getting her emotional needs met by flirting with strangers on Facebook.  Then she gets on a message board and asks how she can get her fat entitled husband to quit nagging her about not wanting to spend time with him and threatening her with divorce.

I'm not trying to bust your balls. I honestly feel for you and the situation you're in.  But you need to accept radical self-responsibility and focus on changing yourself.  You are a Mr Nice Guy who is used to allowing yourself to coast while convincing yourself that things are happening to you, not that you are causing things to happen through your own agency.

This is your absolute biggest hurdle.  Your serial cheating is actually just a byproduct of that.  But you have got to stop the cheating.  Each time you flirt with one of these women, you are widening the cracks in your damaged will.  

Your SR is not equal.  Read your own post above.  You moved back to the city you used to live in at her insistence.  You now have a 2 hour commute to school.  And why is this?  Because she needs to support your family.  

My god man.  Stop fooling yourself.