Let's be blunt:

You haven't worked any Map.  You haven't tried to improve yourself to make yourself awesome.  You have the mindset of a covert contract. 

You resent having to work hard to get your wife to be attracted to you?  You should be excited to do this 'work' to make yourself awesome--not to get sex with your wife.  No one is going to promise you that you will become awesome and your wife will be attracted to you and fuck you senseless.  If you Map for that reason, you aren't mapping. 

And guess what, if you don't Map, end your marriage, and get involved with another woman, you will soon find yourself in this same position.

Bottom line--make the decision to improve yourself because you want to be awesome or don't.  It's really that simple.

Here's an example:

A male friend of my wife and I recently went through a divorce.  He's a nice guy but clearly unhappy about the turn of events his life has taken.  [History:  This guy is about 10 years younger than my wife and she met him years ago through work.  They have not worked together for about 10 years.]

The three of us were out to dinner, along with my wife's and my two sons.  Friend is talking about a sandwich shop that he loves that neither wife or I have heard of.  He looks at my wife and says, "I have to take you there for lunch."

My wife nodded and went about her dinner, thinking absolutely nothing of it.  About 18 months ago, I would have done the same.

This time, as soon as he said it, I stared at him--looking right in his eyes.  It was clear that I was not pleased with that invitation.  He stammered over his words and then threw out, "Yea, we'll all have to go." 

After dinner, I let wife know I wasn't pleased with Friend's sandwich shop invitation and she clearly had no idea what I meant.  I told her I trust her completely but no man is going to ask my wife out, particularly with me sitting right there.  I pointed out how he changed the invitation right after I stared at him.  She did remember Friend changing the invitation.  She didn't even know I had given Friend 'the look' and asked surprised, "You did that?  Just stared at him?"  [note:  obvious gina tingles were now emanating from my wife].

I assured her I had and she smiled but told me Friend is harmless.  I agreed that Friend is harmless but he's not consoling himself about his divorce with my wife.  I am relatively certain that my wife had no intention of going to a sandwich shop with Friend--but what if he next called her at work and offered to take her there for lunch.  She sees him as 'harmless' and decides to go.  I would not be cool with that.  Now, my wife knows I would not be cool with that and out of her respect/love for me, I know she will not go to sandwich shop with Friend. 

I once believed as @Louise did.  And generally, I think it's accurate.  However, over time, I've changed my view.  Each of us is human and no one is perfect.  I think it prudent to avoid placing oneself, or complacently watching one's spouse place herself, in dangerous situations.