I know she crossed boundaries. But when reading between the lines, I am sensing that you have painted yourself into a corner and that you really don't want to end the marriage.

I kniw I am in the minority, but I don't see a marriage-ending offense on her end. I think you went to A/B too quickly. She sounds like she has a spine. Did you really think she'd give in to an ultimatum less than a year into your MAP?

I don't know if this a salvagable situation or not. You need to do what's right for you. If you take her back, you're at square one, but you can rebuild, if it's worth it to you.

Please don't do this.

I assume that eanx is kidding, but that sounds passive aggressive, dishonest and manipulative. And when she busts you, and she will, you will be king of the dicks.

Glad I am not the only idiot!

Athol, is irrational jealousy/paranoia a common red pill side effect?

This is my second brush with it since late July and it's bad for my frame.

Really could have fucked things up last night if I had been caught on the phone or lost my cool (not that I was doing a great job of maintaining it).

Ouch!

To be clear, I am not an idiot and am not going to bring up things from 30 years ago that are ancient history and that I already knew about.

There was an incident before we were exclusive where I took her out on a planned date, even though I knew she had a one night stand the night before. This was at least a year before we were officially together, so I had no claim on her (but I was pretty ga ga for her, but I was playing the field too).

Anyway, she basically wrote that she couldn't believe I still went through with the date and that she could probably have sex with someone in front of me and I would forgive her.

How's that for beta? Red flag maybe?

I have NEVER been the jealous type, I never even considered that she would cheat on me. I have been 100% faithful since the day we agreed to an exclusive relationship.

I just feel like a dipshit -- I don't know if she ever cheated, but I certainly allowed her plenty of opportunities and I am pretty certain of at least one incident within the first year of committed relationship, even if I can't prove it.

I am using this as motivation to better myself. I guess I really, really didn't "take the red pill" until now.

I think the term is "red pill panic."