TheBoringGirl said:

my dad's comment was that i was going out and whoring myself. 

I hope you addressed this in the course of your counselling.

Long talks are a waste of time.  You're emotionally investing in men before you've even met them.

My personal rule with online dating is 3 messages and I ask her to meet. If she's not ready after seeing my profile and pics, then I next her.  Life is too short.

I'm not saying to go on dates with guys you're not interested in, but cut the online interview process and just go on a date.  If you're not impressed with him, move on.  

Honestly, in the last 4 years I've gone on over 100 first dates, a few second dates and have actually "dated" about 10 women anywhere from 1/2 dozen dates to 11 months.  It's a numbers game and I've certainly met women who weren't interested in me after the first date, too.

Men are going to talk about sex.  I'm fully self-sufficient and at this point in my life respect, companionship and sex are the only things a woman can offer me and the first two are of no interest without the third.  Yes, I absolutely want a long-term relationship but I'm not going to settle to get it.

You've also realized that rationing sex isn't a good strategy.  Use it or lose it.  Please don't think I'm suggesting you sleep with every guy who contacts you, but rather understand that sex is important to a man so he is going to put it out there if he has any Red Pill leanings at all. 

That's also why I have my three message rule.  I want to meet a woman and if I'm attracted to her I'll be very up front with my sexual agenda.  That's not something that you can do through messages with someone you don't know and it also brings in the emotional investment factor.

I get the vetting about marriage, unemployment, but also realize that men (and women) lie. And it's easy to lie online, so your vetting is only as effective as the level of honesty of the guy you're messaging. MEET them if you want to find out the truth. 

As well, a man with options will spin plates.  And let's be honest - what you're looking for is a man who has options.  It's part of his intrinsic value.  It's a modern day fact and it's a way for us to have the cream rise to the top.  Women do it, too, to an extent.  That's what protection is for.  Again, not a suggestion to sleep with everyone but simply to point out the reality.  Your job, should you find an awesome man with options, is to be the cream.

I think if someone gave me one of those I'd take it to the range and use it for target practice, then hang it up.

You're saying he broke off the relationship over his fear that you're better than him at some things?

This man wasn't your Captain.  He was too insecure.  I suspect a lot of what you've seen lately was him expressing his insecurity and misgivings about moving into a more permanent relationship.  

A Captain isn't perfect.  He doesn't need to know exactly how to change the filters on the engine, he just needs to know they must be done and that they are done at the proper intervals.  A Captain who is too insecure to trust and delegate to his FO (and his crew) will eventually sink the ship.

Take time to sort out your feelings, continue your MAP and go out and find a Captain who is worthy of a good FO.  

You got this!

You need to study the Captain/FO relationship more. 

The Captain and FO carry the same authority on the ship.  If the FO gives an order then it carries the same weight as if it came from the Captain.  The only exception is when the Captain over-rides the order of the FO, which should be a very rare occurrence.

The Captain and the FO discussed what needed to be done (presumably the Captain sought the FO's guidance in the matter).  The Captain made a decision.  It's then the FO's job to carry out the Captain's orders.  

It's not the Captain's job to stand over the FO and make sure every t is crossed and i dotted.  The Captain has (or should have) more important things to do than skulk around trying to make sure that his orders have been carried out.  The Captain is not a babysitter and if the Captain doesn't trust the FO to carry out his orders then the relationship is in trouble.